Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Is it the right choice?

15 replies

MojoMomma · 20/02/2012 11:41

My 5yo has been struggling in school since she started last year, within her first month me and OH attended a 'help them read at home' class there, for the phonetics, as taking part in these things is important to us. While there we mentioned that she had said she was being picked on my one of the other students, the reply was that she herself was being 'boisterous'. Totally unheard of for her, but I thought maybe school had this effect.

2 weeks later I was called in and told that she was difficult to control, other children refused to play with her and she was being put on a reward chart, she was familiar with them from doing them at home, but I happily explained that she's had these before and we no longer used them because she behaved without them at home. I was spoken to like a child when they explained that 'us teachers tend to get better results than parents, we know what the children respond to'. At this point I was heavily pregnant and walked down the hill crying with 5yo in tow.

A week after I was called in because she was too teary to remain on the reward chart. So she had gone from to much to handle to 'hyper-sensitive'...

During this time we have had 2 parents evenings, both of which we were tag teamed and told that she was 'probably acting out because of the baby'. The second time we were told this we were sitting with 2 month old, which 5yo has been amazing with and never displayed anything other than love for. At which point me and OH had just had enough. I told them I believed her transition to reception wasn't a good one, and OH let rip about the reading. They send her home with books with alot of words that she cannot read, while telling us that she has read them in school. And she informs us almost daily she hasn't read her book today. We sit every night with her reading. We've had incidents where they have packed away her lunch because she has taken too long, (she ate only half her sandwhich). She has had 5 pairs of gloves, 3 hats and 4 scarves all go missing, no matter how many time we mention it and check the 'lost box' they never arrive. She's been dragged around by her coat in the playground a few times, so we've replaced 3 coats since september. She says she doesn't like school or 'learning stuff' anymore. She comes home crying alot, because she feel she can't do the work. And I know she can, no matter how many time I speak to the teacher we get the same responses.

At home we do alot of work books (math, reading,spelling,letters), gallery visit's, photography, crafts, she has football training and a few other bits and pieces. I can't halp feeling like I can do a better job at taking over her entire education.

My brother was home school from 11-16 and he effectively did nothing, he was one of what I guess is a small handful which HE isnt the way to go, but it still makes me nervous.
I've read up on the process, read countless forums, I think it's time to get some real information of how it really is...

I really feel that her being at home is the best thing for her. I think I just need some reassurance that more people have felt this way about the current situation their children are in?

Sorry for the long post, feeling rather emotional about it all today. First day back after the holidays and all that...

OP posts:
SDeuchars · 20/02/2012 12:44

PMing you in case you want to talk to someone on the phone.

I know you know this, but there is a big difference between deregistering a 5yo who has only been in school a few months and deregistering an 11yo after 6 years.

I have a friend with a now 6yo and a 2yo. The 6yo left school during reception because the mum was not happy with how the school were doing things. The mum is now happy and the 2yo will also be EHE. So, you are not the only one.

Where in the country are you? Your best bet is to meet some local home educators so that you do not feel so alone.

bebanjo · 20/02/2012 12:48

Hi DD is 5 and has never been to school, DD shows no interest in reading so we do not do reading, my DH and myself read to her daily, we are reading the faraway tree at bed time, 2 chapters a night we read some creation story's at the weekend, Chinese and aborigine. DD is currently watching Lion King for the 2nd time today, she will be going to rainbows a t 6.00pm
we will be meeting friends tomorrow am, wends after school and Thursday, no plans as yet for friday.
we went to a archaeological exhibition at the week end and she loved it, DD will talk to any one and many people believe she is older than she is because she is so confident.
We do not follow a curriculum at all and have no structure other than the routine i have told you about.

CakeMixture · 20/02/2012 15:43

Hi Mojomomma
Sounds horrendous for you and your dd.

In your situation I would investigate local HE grousp to see what friends and support you can find locally. I would de-register her and see how you get along at home for a bit. Have lots of fun making stuff, playing and going on outings etc - she is only 5 so dont feel you need to be in a rush to do more formal stuff.
Whilst trying out HE for a bit, consider other local schools (because the attitude of the teachers of the one she is at doesnt sound good!)
By september she may feel she wants to try school again (being a bit older she might be more emotionally ready?) or you and she might want to continue HEing.

I took my two out of school two years ago (due to similar problems as you have had) - it was definately a good decision. My children are so much happier now!
My dd would definately be in the bottom group at school in reading, writing, speaking and listening, maths etc. But at home she is thriving. I know that according to what schools expect she is two years behind - but she thinks she is extremely clever and wise. That is what counts for me really she has a good self attitude about her abilities atm. She wouldnt have if she had continued at school.

All the best with whatever you decide!

kumquatsarethelonelyfruit · 20/02/2012 15:55

We removed DS1 for similar reasons. He was an excellent reader but being given really inappropriate books, losing all his stuff and getting into trouble for poor writing skills (he turns out to be dyspraxic). We removed him at the start of Yr 1 and I know he is much happier and his writing is coming along well with the one to one help. The only thing I will say is that you will be committing one of you to be a stay at home parent for the next 13 years - something I didn't factor in when I removed him from school. I would definitely take your DD out of that school anyway, she is not thriving there so what is the point of sending her?

CakeMixture · 20/02/2012 16:30

The only thing I will say is that you will be committing one of you to be a stay at home parent for the next 13 years
This is true with my two -they arent at all keen on returning to school.

But many HE children do return - for a year (or two) or for the rest of their education. But it is definately worth bearing in mind that the decision to HE could be permanant.............
Doesnt mean that it has to be exclusively one parent though, or that you cant combine HE with working (not that I have figured out how to do this myself yet!)

MojoMomma · 20/02/2012 19:29

Thank you so much for your replies! I spent the day looking into local HE places, meeting groups and such, not sure if I am looking in the right place. We are based in the West Midlands (public transport users).
I have a really basic outlay of what I want to do at home with her, things she enjoys and I feel that she will benefit from. We will continue to do the other things we already do like galleries and sports too.
I've been considering and researching for so long, and I think we are ready. I'm not even sure why it has taken so long for me to ask people for guidance. I feel like I have been sending her to the wolves every day now I sit and read what she has been going through...

Sdeucars, I hadn't really even thought about groups till you mentioned it, but have had a google into it!

Kumquat, with your last question I can honestly say, I no longer have any idea why we were sending her, to conform I suppose :(. I am totally willing to stay at home for that long, OH is on board with the whole thing and has said he will take some lessons when he is off work (shift work, luckily quite flexible).

Benandjo, it sounds like a very fun packed time you have, I hope that we find something that suits us like that!

Cakemixture, I think seeing how we get along will be out best option, there are a few other schools that maybe she will like, but probably not for a while.

I have my deregistration letter in hand, and am doing the deed tomorrow. I spoke to her about it today, and she simply said 'yes' with a big smile on her face and asked if we can get extra number magnets for out magnet maths fridge.

I really want to thank you for the replies. I feel like a huge icky feeling has been lifted, and apparently so does my 5yo!

OP posts:
CakeMixture · 20/02/2012 20:59

Mojo - thats great! I dont think you will have any regrets.

Have lots of fun :)

bebanjo · 20/02/2012 21:08

let us know how you get on.
where in the west mids are you?

catnipkitty · 20/02/2012 21:09

Hi
Just wanted to say GOOD LUCK with your home educating. We took our twins out of year 2 in october - handing in that letter felt like such a relief after years of deliberating and it's going well so far :)

C x

julienoshoes · 21/02/2012 12:31

MojoMomma West Mids? So are we!

Have you found the local groups yet? The Yahoo email support group is here The one that covers the whole of the West Midlands is here

If you contact me via The Worcs HE Network Webpage I can send you details of where to get the newletters sent directly to your inbox! (the last link will come straight to my inbox)

Grin Welcome to the world of home education in the West Midlands!

Hopefully see you somewhere soon!

julienoshoes · 21/02/2012 12:32

SIGH the first link should have read 'The Worcestershire Yahoo email support group is here'

Saracen · 22/02/2012 00:02

Hooray for the lifting of huge icky feelings!

I hope you enjoy home education. You sound like you are up for it!

MojoMomma · 22/02/2012 10:30

Hi am back!

Julienshoes - great links!

We are in Wolverhampton :)

Thank everyone for your kind words, I am so happy about the decision, we all are. :)

OP posts:
julienoshoes · 22/02/2012 10:35

ooh I've just read that there is a home ed meet up this Friday, in Wolverhampton! Would it be worth taking a day off school and going along to chat to HE folks local to you?

let me know by email if you want me to find out more info for you.

MojoMomma · 22/02/2012 10:50

Emailing now :)

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page