Home-edding from now until September - long enough to get an idea of HE?

[PassTheTwiglets]

I have this thing in the back of my mind that HE is the way to go for DD who is currently in Y4 and having a lot of problems with anxiety and missing me. I'm not convinced that it will be better, it's just a nagging feeling that I should try it. My problem is that DS is going to start Reception in January and I'm sure that if his sister is home all day then he's going to say "well why do I have to go to school?" (nb. if he really hated school then I would HE him as well but I think he would like it so want him to try).

So, what I wondered about was taking her out now and trying HE until DS is due to start in September, to see whether we got on ok with it and whether her anxiety problems disappeared. My main question is do you think that this would be long enough to give it a fair trial? If DD is going to relax when not at school and go back to her happy old self then am I likely to see that by September and to know whether HE is better for her? (I know you don't all have a crystal ball, but in your experience did your children's problems go away in that time?)

I don't know what would happen in September though - if her problems were still the same then school probably isn't the cause and she may as well go back - but by that time she will have got so used to being at home with me that it weill be even harder for her to go back to school. But on the other hand, if she thrived on HE then it doesn't solve my problem about DS going in September!

Lastly (sorry this is a-stream-of-consciousness post!) is it possible to stay off school for a term or so without de-registering or would I have to de-reg her and then reapply for a place later?

My main question is do you think that this would be long enough to give it a fair trial? If DD is going to relax when not at school and go back to her happy old self then am I likely to see that by September and to know whether HE is better for her?

I'd say "yes, you are likely to see the difference". Home educators normally say to start out assuming that it will take a month per year at school to "de-school". So you could hope to have a pretty good idea by the start of the summer holidays.

Lastly (sorry this is a-stream-of-consciousness post!) is it possible to stay off school for a term or so without de-registering or would I have to de-reg her and then reapply for a place later?

Unless you can get a doctor to sign her off as sick (which may then involve you in interventions from Education Welfare and CAMHS), you will have to de-register. If you do not, your DD is a truant and you can be prosecuted for that.

You'd have to dereg and then reapply for a place.

I'm confused as to whether your DS is starting reception in Sept or Jan?

I'll be willing to bet good money that school is the source of your Dd's anxiety.
I have seen it so very many times.

It may be that she won't completely recover from all of her issues, if she has been badly damaged by school, but you'll see massive improvements and the twinkle in her eye and skip in her step return-as long as she is not worried about you pressuring her to return in September I know this sort of worry would have spoiled my kids summer if they thought there was any chance of me sending them back against their will.

Why not deregister and say to her that you will all review it in July-and you will take her views seriously and into account? That way she will know she can relax and enjoy the rest of her life!

If you do go ahead, I'd find local home educators and consider this as viable option for both of your children-I know so many parents who wish they had never sent their children to school in the first place! Then that would sort the problem of your DS, you could always send him later if he chose to go.

Thanks for your encouraging replies, both of you! Oops, yes, I don't know why I said DS is starting in January - he's starting in September. At the moment he is at school 4 mornings a week (in the nursery) and he is getting so much out of it and really thriving there.

If I could be sure that DD hated school then I'd take her out like a shot but she almost always seems to be happy when she is there, it's the thought of it that she hates and she can't bear leaving me. But she always cheers up once she's in and seems lively and happy and takes part in discussions etc.

Hi
I'm relatively new to HE - our twin girls left school in october 2011, they were in year 2, but my experience was that I saw an immediate change in them once they left, from tired, drained, unhappy to SO much more relaxed, laughing, playing. I see an big change in my eldest daughter after even one week of school holidays (she's still at school). Good luck!

That's fabulous, catnip! How lovely to hear.

I took my year 4 child out this time last year. It took until September to deschool and destress the child who now lives with his head in the clouds and isn't a big ball of anxiety. Like he was before I sent him to school. Obviously the ill effects of school still remain in some part, but they are lessening more and more over time.