The beginning of the end.

[IslaValargeone]

I have posted before about our intention to reintegrate dc back into school. We have been He for just over a year after bullying issues, and it was only going to be temporary while we were moving around. We have moved house twice in the past 12 months.
Anyway, dh has caved in to outside criticism re He and over the weekend spoke to dc about going back, this has happened sooner than we (but mainly I) had originally hoped.They have gone to see a school this morning, and I am sitting crying my eyes out. I thought at first it was just because I will miss dc, but it feels more than that, like the whole idea of it has become completely alien. I fear I might require much hand holding over the next couple of weeks, I am in quite a state and feel ridiculous.

It's tough. My dd was HE'd too but she asked to go back to school and it broke my heart.

She coped much much better with the transition then I did really.

I found it hard because I has worked so hard to convince myself HE was the best approach to her education. I think we do strongly feel that HE is the right thing and in turn schools get trashed in our opinion so it's hard to then send you dc somewhere you saw as the enemy iyswim.

Plus, you've obviously seen you dc upset at the bullying so feel concerned about that kind of pain being repeated.

I was convinced I was sending dd into a horrible situation and it would be my fault if she ended up upset etc. but I firmly felt it was her choice at that point and all I could do was support her. She's been back a year now and is thriving. Her first week she was asked to 2 different girls houses for tea and is very well liked. I think the HE did her good and shell get good points from school too.

Good luck!

You are not ridiculous! There are all sorts of feelings and anxieties you will experience about your DC going back into school but if he likes what he sees today and he settles well these will soon disappear. I only did HE for a short time but I was very concerned when DD went back into school. I hope your DC will like the school he is looking at and will be happy there.

You're definitely not alone in your feelings. We've only been HE for a short time but I'd be devastated now if they wanted to go back and I don't ever want to send my younger 2. I hope whatever is decided will be the right thing and that you'll all adjust and be happy. Good luck and much hand holding!!

Oh, (((hugs))). You are not being ridiculous. I would feel the same, and I haven't even had the bullying experience which your family has gone through.

I think that IF your child feels positive about returning to school then it will do no harm to try, because you all know that HE could be an option again if it doesn't work out. Is this the case, or do you think dad has been putting undue pressure on and your child has agreed to school just to keep him happy?

If I were in your shoes I think I would be able to feel rather more relaxed about the prospect of school if the family had a clear plan: how will we know if school is working out, how long will we give it if things aren't going smoothly at first, do we allow dc the option of coming back out again whenever they want or do they have to stick it out for a certain amount of time, etc. Have you discussed those sorts of things?

Good luck!! I hope your family will find an arrangement which all of you can live with.

Hello, I did pen a thankyou yesterday morning, but I think in my somewhat fragile state I must have forgotten to press post Dc went into the school today as they were doing a science project which she expressed interest in so they asked if she wanted to join them for the day.
In fact they spent the morning giving her tests, which I was not particularly happy about and neither was she. I don't even know what the results mean which hasn't helped my worries.
Largely though dc seemed to have a good day and everyone was welcoming, she has complained to me about the 'class joker' who is a pita, but she hasn't been put off.
Saracen, as yet I haven't discussed the option of coming out again, and probably won't unless she becomes unhappy. I am not anticipating bullying yet again, but would probably handle it differently anyway?
The plan is to start properly a week on Monday, now I just have to brace myself for fits of sobbing when I buy each item of uniform.