Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

I think we've turned a corner. I'm so delighted!

12 replies

mummyloveslucy · 02/01/2012 18:09

I'm so pleased with how home ed is going at the moment. I'm really starting to enjoy it. I've decided that I needed to invest more time doing things I enjoy. I used to get quite depressed on and off. I don't think there was any real reason for it, I just couldn't seem to escape it.
I've been playing games with my dd that I used to love as a child, and I'm quite embarrassed to descover that I still enjoy these things. I think I'd forgotton that even adults need to play sometimes.
I've been playing with her puppets and being really silly with them, using them as props in storys etc. I've been having a ball. Wink

You're probubly reading this and thinking, she's finally lost the plot, but it's worked wonders on my daughter. She's so much happier recently, she's gone back to being affectionate, loving towards me and just better behaved and co-operative. It's fantastic! She says things like "I love spending time with you" and "you are the best mummy ever". Hearing her say these things, after I was so worried about our relationship and her behaviour, really makes me want to cry. She's responding so well to me having more fun and enjoying myself more.

My initial thought was, I need to try to make myself happier, then I'll be better equipt to work on making my daughter happier. I never thought she'd do it on her own.

She's such a star and I feel overwhelmingly proud of her. I just thought I'd share this with you as you've all helped me so much when I was at my witts end. I'm hoping 2012 is going to me a much better year. Smile

OP posts:
ommmward · 02/01/2012 18:20

Curses, MLL, you have just actually made me cry. How beautiful to read that.

The only person whose happiness you can actually create is yourself, and then your happiness is infectious. Such a wise approach - thank you for articulating it so well.

and yes yes yes to the enjoying playing bit. :)

jollyoldstnickschick · 02/01/2012 18:22

MLL Ive been wondering how you and lucy were getting on.

You have come on heaps and bounds - hope it continues - how is Lucy?

mummyloveslucy · 02/01/2012 18:29

Aaah, thank you! Smile

I think the mistake I was making was to totally follow her lead in what ever she wanted to do. I thought it'd make her happy. I would then go along with it the best I could, but she'd know I wasn't enjoying it. I'd get more and more frustrated thinking of all the things I should or rather be doing.

OP posts:
mummyloveslucy · 02/01/2012 18:33

She is fine thanks. She seems so much happier recently. Her all round intelligence seems to be improving so much too. She often talks like she's an adult. (Not in a prococious way) She's a very deep thinker.

OP posts:
SDeuchars · 03/01/2012 09:40

That's great, MLL! This post is so different from the others we've read. I hope it continues to go well for you. It often does take longer for adults to "de-school" and settle into HE than it does for children.

Saracen · 04/01/2012 01:35

Oh, that's really wonderful! I'm thrilled for you.

I don't know whether you have the time or interest to follow this adult-focused versus child-focused idea in depth. There is a book I once read which seems to shed some light on this phenomenon of parents focusing a lot of attention on children, who in response seem to become increasingly fretful and demanding. I certainly noticed it happening with my older dd when she was an only child.

"The Continuum Concept" was written by Jean Liedloff, an amateur sociologist who had spent several years living with a remote South American tribe. She observed that their children seemed to be very content compared with the children in her own society. She reached some interesting conclusions for why this might be. First, she believed children needed to make most of their own decisions about their own lives, for example how to spend their time and how to stay safe, rather than being directed and overprotected. Second, she claimed that children will be more content if parents are actively engaged in their own work and allow the children to follow after and join in whenever they want, rather than the parents focusing a lot of direct attention on children and trying to keep them happy. It isn't very scientific, and some would argue that these ideas are difficult to apply in our society. But it is still sufficiently persuasive to have caused some parents like me to interact rather differently with their children.

Anyway, I'm really pleased for you that things are going so much better.

mummyloveslucy · 04/01/2012 16:09

Thank you. Smile That does sound like what I've been doing. It's good to know that it's been found to be effective.

My daughter does love attention and is constantly saying "mummy, I need help with this" or "Mummy can you come here/play with me". She isn't good at doing things on her own. She's getting better though.

I did start writing her a story in rhyming text. I love writing storys, but since she's been home, I haven't been able to do any more too it. I find it needs 100% concentration and I need to have my mind clear in order to think. I think I'd get very ratty with her if she kept interrupting. I think when she's a bit older, I could envolve her in it a bit. It's the one thing I really miss.

OP posts:
CakeMixture · 06/01/2012 23:26

Im really pleased too MLL, great news - I hope it continues :)
(not that you will know who I am cos I have name changed!)

mummyloveslucy · 07/01/2012 16:58

Thank you cakemixture. (whoever you really are) Grin

OP posts:
TooJung · 09/01/2012 13:34

Congratulations on your breakthrough. It is inspiring to read your words. I shall focus on having more actual fun this week, well, this lunchtime! And will go on from there.

Happy new year.

CrabbyBigbottom · 09/01/2012 20:12

I've read your posts before - so glad that things are going well for you! Smile

flussymummy · 09/01/2012 22:34

Fantastic news! Really pleased to hear this- I've read your posts too and it's so good to read that things are going well for you. I'm HEing both of our DDs who are still preschool age anyway, but was fascinated to read Saracen's post- absolutely my experience too- DD1 was demanding and high maintenance as an only child- DD2 has always almost opted out of 1:1 attention most of the time and now at nearly 2 is a happy, contented, self-sufficient wee soul- seems to have worked much better for her!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread