'Socialisation' - for adults

[AngelDog]

Do those of you who HE full time manage to get enough adult company?

We're thinking of HE'ing when DS is old enough, although he's only 2 now.

I'm a SAHM and I sometimes struggle with lack of adult company. I do go to a few groups locally but I find it hard to fit in doing something with other adults every day around shopping trips / housework etc. I wondered whether HE'ing might be a similar experience - or not?

I have found that I have a better social life than I did when I was at school. I would see the same people everyday and talk to a few but the HE community is smaller and people turn up all over the place and I feel like I'm actually making friends. I don't see them between groups as such but I feel more connected and like I fit in with them much more than I did at school. We have more in common I guess.

I ended up with a better social life than when my children went to school-as did my children!

We socialised with home educators locally, at meetings/workshops/social events and nationally at home ed camps and gatherings.

I still do go to one of the camps even if the children don't come with me, as I know I'll have loads of friends there.
I've joined the crew now in case the day ever comes when Dd2 doesn't want to go to HesFes (doubtful as she enjoys performing there so much)
grin

I second what's been said. We've found it really social and I've made some lovely friends. Now the housework is another matter.....

Snap!

The one thing which was lacking for a few years was the opportunity to have a complete conversation on which the adults could concentrate. When the kids are small, one or other of the adults trying to talk to each other is constantly interrupted to resolve a sibling squabble, help someone open a drink, wipe a nose, or take someone to the toilet. You can still talk anyway, but it tends to be somewhat disjointed while your children are in the needy phase.

This was a big part of the reason why one of the HE parents in my area started up fortnightly pub evenings for parents to attend without their children. I also liked these because it meant I mixed with people whose children were much older or younger than mine: we wouldn't normally see each other because our children do different activities. They have been very popular, especially with people considering HE and with parents who work full-time.

Thanks everyone - and apologies for the slow reply.

I feel reassured - at the moment I have lots of people I'm friendly with, but not really any very close friends.

I just thought of something else which is pleasant about my social life. Although some families do come and go from the home ed scene (moving out of the area or sending their children to school) there is quite a lot of continuity over the years, more than I have in most other areas of my life. With many of my non-HE friends, if I don't make the effort to keep in touch with them then the friendship or acquaintanceship dies.

In contrast, I don't have to DO anything in order to keep seeing home ed friends: they keep reappearing. Sometimes I don't see them for a long time because we are doing different stuff or one of us is being a bit more inward-looking or family-focused for a while. Then we both go to Hesfes or on the same museum trip or our children's interests coincide again.

I've commented before on the fact that my kids seem to get a certain security from running into the same children repeatedly (if only occasionally) over a period of years. It reminds me of the relationship I had with my cousins as I grew up: not always intense or regular, but nevertheless reliable and comforting. It's OK to bicker with a cousin in childhood, knowing you will most likely make it up because after all it IS your cousin and there is no danger of not getting invited back. I've seen my 12 year old's interests diverge from the interests of an HE friend, watched the two spend increasing time apart, and then seen them come together again a few years later based on new shared interests.

However, it has only just occurred to me that the same is true of me and my adult home educating friends. It's pleasant to think that I have known some of these people for a decade and I look forward to seeing them for many more years. I enjoy watching their children grow up. Oh, and that's another thing: because I see these kids so regularly, it feels a bit like being an auntie in that I get to take an interest in the kids and have a lasting relationship with them even if they aren't my daughter's best pals.

Maybe that is why people often use the phrase "home ed community".

I am just rambling on and repeating what others have said more succinctly above!