HE just one child

[Tiredmomof2]

Hi new to this thread and very much in the early stages of considering HE. I am more than happy with the school my children are at, in fact I am a parent governor there. My children are in Year 1 and Year 4 and my DS enjoys school and I feel it is the right place for him. For my DD it really isn't suiting her at all. Financially it would be a huge struggle but one I would be prepared to make, I would just like to hear from anyone else who has deregistered one child whilst leaving another in school. Thanks

I did this and it worked fine.

The disadvantages are still being tied to school times, which limits activities with home ed friends, and parents at the school gate thinking you are a bit weird! Like you, I was a governor at the school and it was uncomfortable for a while after I took DD2 out - I had to get a thick skin.

The advantages are you build up fantastic bonds with your children because you have one to yourself all day and therefore can really focus on the other when they come home from school.

Be prepared to eventually home ed both, though! I had one very happy in school and she still decided to come out a year later!

is your dd year 1 or year 4? Shame if you like the school and one dc is happy there, that it cannot bemade to work for the other dc too. No, I should think HE one is not a problem except maybe for the other dc who comes home tired for schoola nd still has homework to do while the HE dc is free IYSWIM

we did this for a term with one of ours.

It was fine - but it was restrictive being tied to the school day - it is the one thing I really appreciate most about not having any going to school (that and the general school routine - packed lunches, pe kits etc etc etc).

I am also still a governor at the school mine used to go to :).

My 16 year old son is still at school, now doing AS levels!! His younger brother is now 13 and has been home educated for nearly 4 years now. Both have dx of HFA.

Our home life is now smooth and friendly, compared to frightening and anxiety ridden. We have the switch over from term time to half terms and holidays, so there is a bit of adjustment at those points. I remind myself at these times to take things more slowly and just make sure no one gets hungry.

I focus on the child who needs me most, so the HE one in the day and the schooled one in early mornings and evenings. They are of an age where they hardly need me very much anyway, so it is a walk in the park compared to when they were younger.

I find I need to be emotionally available and as balanced in my own mind and soul as possible. That takes time. I follow blogs, read books and be with people I find help me be a better person. Then I can help both the boys better.

Thanks for all your replies I really appreciate it. Sorry didn't make it clear DD is in Year 1 DS who seems happy in school is in Year 4. DH isn't happy to do anything straight away he wants to wait and see how she settles down. I think he probably hopes I get a job as well (I am just finishing my Teaching assistant course at my children's school at the moment) and so I perhaps won't be so keen to HE. Personally if the longevity of what I want to do didn't frighten me somewhat and the financial concerns I would be wanting to pull her straight away but I have to consider his view as well, the bottom line is he is receptive to the idea.

I take on board the comments about still being tied to a school day with one child staying in main school but I don't think pulling DS is an option DH would consider at all initially.

Thanks again for your comments.

i am currently discussing this with mine - i have two dd's who love school (yr7 and 3) and a ds (yr5) that is a square peg in a round hole.

the 'still being tied to school hours and routine' thing is one of the reasons i'm still dithering, but the girls are entirely happy and so i wouldn't pull them out. dh is worried that ds will feel 'punished' by removing him from school, but agrees that he is probably the best option.

i am actually looking at unschooling, which would highlight the differences between the two choices even more!

weirdly, i've also worked as an LSA and been a governor in two other schools. i'm find it really interesting that people who are involved with education in one way or another are actively seeking alternatives to school. it's been a real eye opener for me.

in my head we need to make a decision before christmas, so i'd love to hear how you get on.

I think it is the limitations of the National Curriculum that is one the key issues for us - the more so the further away from it we get and we realise just how limiting it is.

My DS didn't feel punished by not being in school - he loved the attention - as one of 3 close in age he rarely if ever got much one to one time with us (we miss it now all 3 are HE).

madwomanintheattic > By the way my DS was 2/3 of the way through yr 4 when we pulled him out - so similar stage to your DS.

He was not having a tough time at school just not really thriving - more existing. He has grown mentally hugely in the 18 months since then. No regrets on either side so far.

oh, he sounds exactly like ds, throckenholt. that's encouraging. he just isn't engaged or motivated. how long did it take before the other two came out as well? did they ask?

he just isn't engaged or motivated

spot on :).

He had been with the teacher for 1.5 years and was just stagnating. The other two started HE the following term - partly because they would have been going to have that same teacher. But by that stage we were seriously questioning the national curriculum and had decided HE was better for us than trying another school (we liked the school just not the bigger system).

yep. I did it too.

One HE and 2 in school. Worked out fine.

i'm stuck at the questioning stage at the mo. if anything the nc seems liberating compared to this system. even uk teachers see it as 'death by worksheet'.

good luck, op, anyway. i'd love to hear what decisions you make and how you get on.

I did this, Tired. Took DS1 out of school in Year 6, whilst his little brother (5) continued to go to school. DS2 did start to question why he still had to go to school after a while, which was inevitable. I really wasn't prepared to home educate them both (partly because I felt DS1 needed one-to-one time with me at that period), so I explained that his brother wasn't well (true - he had OCD, depression and anxiety issues) and had to be educated at home for the moment.

I found the school run quite a useful framework for getting us all up and out of the door in the morning and for making sure DS1 had done some work by the time DS2 came home.

DS1 is now at a new school and very happy at the moment because he is finally getting the support that he needed all along.

DS2 is bored this year and asking me to home educate him. But that's another story!

Excuse the thread hijack, but I must just say hi to Madwoman . Contrary to your DH's opinion, MW,I would think your DS would feel liberated and relieved at being taken out of school, rather than punished. School isn't right for all children all of the time and it won't be doing your son's confidence any good to be struggling every day in an environment that doesn't suit him. I hope you can soon reach a decision that you're happy with.