Deregistering Monday, and feeling a little nervous any advice would be great

[sunshine241083]

After a two week mini tester and an awful lot of family discussions we are deregistering our DD almost 6 from school Monday. I feel it is the best thing for DD as she has worked really well and has come along well (for two weeks anyway) and she really doesn?t want to go back, and has finally opened up to me about school which she has never done before. I am tired out but feel it is well worth it in the long run.

But I can?t help it, I am feeling very nervous. I am not a confident person at all, and suppose feel nervous over other peoples judgements, so far, my family have been great, supportive all the way but a few so called friends comments make me question myself, DH thinks I am silly, nothing bothers him at all but I am a whittler.

How did you cope with people unwanted judgements when you first told them???

TIA

no advice on your question, sorry but i wonder if you could share how you agreed your trial period? did you speak to school about it, or just announce that she wouldn't be around for 2 weeks, or how did you go about it?

we are at the point where we are pretty certain we are going to remove ds1 from school, but i am wondering whether to put it to school as a trial would be better in the short term? we are o'seas so i need to look at the legal side, but i was curious how you had arranged it?

can i ask why you withdrew her?

i think you are very brave btw. i'm dithering so much about it, you have my absolute respect for getting on and doing it. how long did it take you to make up your mind? i'm finding it quite helpful to read a lot of books so that i feel as though i've got academic backing, lol. however rl turns out!

Congratulations Sunshine! I hope you enjoy home education.

You could tell them that your daughter is having "a year out of school" to take a break and work on some areas where she needs more one-to-one help. Most people will acknowledge that even if HE isn't the right way to go, a year is unlikely to do much harm. And their fears about your dd turning into a social misfit are hardly likely to come true in such a short time.

After the year you will probably be feeling much more confident. You'll have concrete examples of how HE is helping your daughter, and people will be able to see that her social skills have not withered away. Then it may be much easier to say that it is working well and so you've decided to carry on with HE.

People are very curious about home ed so a lot of the questions (which sound really critical) are just people exploring the idea and if you keep answering their questions they will tend to keep asking.

Also they are often reflecting on their own choices to continue sending child to school or on their PARENTS' choice to send THEM to school. Which they may feel secretly pretty defensive about.

So if you'd rather NOT talk about it, the trick is to answer in a boring yet unthreatening way, along the lines of well, we'll give it a try, everyone's different aren't they, feels like the best thing for us as a family right now etc etc

Madwomanintheattic ? Sorry its so long I have cut it down as best as i can.

It has been the hardest decision I have ever had to make and has taken about 6-8 weeks, But have had concerns since July when I got DD?s first school report. She is below average in a lot of areas but was told that is normal for her school. I was HE from 14 though my GCSE?s so have always been open to the idea, but had forgotten that I had choices for my DD. My dad suggested it, so looked back into it, and realized why didn?t I do it all along, I am a full time mum/wife so why not put better use of my time. It has been tiring for me but that?s just because it?s new (I think), I feel I will adjust with time and a little more organization, and DH is starting to help more.

There where 60 children in reception last year (this is supposedly normal). And when it came to moving to year 1 there wasn?t enough classes/teachers for them all to move up so 30 are in a year 1 class, 20 have been put into two year 2/1 classes, and 10 kept in reception in which DD was one of them. Which I felt ok at first because she loves her teacher and the teacher tried to reassure me that it was to build DD?s confidence, but since starting and I realize that DD is 6 soon and now she is with 4 year olds doing the same level work, and DD is a confident child at home and when we go out so why not at school. Also a friend pointed out how she will adjust when it comes to moving to year 2.

I have also recently discovered that DD can count fine, but when you put an independent number in front of her above 7 she hasn?t got a clue she also can?t form any of her numbers correctly they are back to front (which she does now know).

I read a lot with DD and we buy her a lot of her own books to learn to read at home which she loves and is progressing well, the books from school are still on the same level as when she started Reception and has not been moved up any levels and she finds them boring which is the wrong signal as it will put her off which I really don?t want to happen.

DD was ill the week before half term and so did some work when she felt up to it, cuddled up on the sofa with a small chalk board and chalk practicing numbers/letters, and Reading a lot so she didn?t fall any further behind and then when half term started I decided to have a proper week of learning which has gone really well. I would have liked DD to go back to school till after Christmas to give me time to plan ahead and maybe talk to the teacher, but DD is refusing, she says is quicker at home and more fun (which you can?t argue with as she is right) she likes structured work but think it would be good to do some autonomous as well. We are going to join 1 of our local Rainbows groups this week and plan to go swimming and to the local soft play area and parks several times a week so she can socialize with other children.

Saracen & FionaJNicholson

Thank you for your advise would it also be good to contact the Elective Home Educastion officer for our area so i can get a head start.

oh, that's really interesting, thank you! so your trial was a sort of happy accident, rather than a planned thing. great that it's working out so well for you.

really interesting that you say you 'forgot' you had other options, too - i think it's really easy to get swept along in 'what happens next' without actually sitting down and thinking about it. glad you and dd are happy!. good luck for monday x

My dd was HE for two years and asked to go bk to school, that was a huge mistake she has been bullied, has fallen behind and worries constantly about home work/spelling tests. DD is in year 6 and am thinking about HE again not secondary school.

Well done Sunshine! I have also taken my 2 children out of school from this holiday. I am really excited about our new venture. Its taken me 2 years to make the leap so I'm exhausted of thinking and just wanting to get on and have fun learning!

I've so far only spoken to a few people at school who I knew would be supportive. There's a few other friends I've told too and I've had a pretty good response so far. Even those I know don't really approve, have kept their opinions firmly to themselves.

I hope it goes well for you. I've decided not to set too many expectations but to just enjoy this time I've got with my gorgeous boys. I might finally get to know the oldest one after 3 years at school has almost turned him into a stranger!

My deregistration letter is now written, and feel a lot better, I am getting excited over all the things we can now do without being tied down to school times. DD is also very happy and also eating better than ever, and is calmer and not acting silly like before. Tomorrow?s dinner is already in the slow cooker so roll on tomorrow, I Can?t wait.

Onwardsand upwards ? Bullying was why I came out of school, Year 7-9 and I refused to go back for yr 10 I loved being Home educated and never felt isolated and I have always I get along with all ages not just people my own age, I know how your DD is feeling and I hope you can get it sorted for her.

Threesnocrowd ? its nice to know that other mums are doing the same at the same time its gives me reassurance. I haven?t contacted the mums I got along with but do plan to contact a least one to keep play dates going for DD.

Thank you and good luck for tomorrow! x