Home Ed up to 11+ exam?

[fedupofschools]

Hello, my DS started school life in the local primary... but after a couple of years of problems I sold all that I could to put him into private school... 1 year on and he is still experiencing problems... albeit slightly different. I happen to volunteer at school and today witnessed a very unpleasant incident at school and DS being very unfairly treated... no doubt they will come up with some cover up excuse for this to... in the meantime I am seriously considering Home Ed. He is currenly year 4 so my plan would be to home ed year 5 and 6 and hopefully he will pass his 11+ exam for the local Grammar school... just wondered if anyone else done this? Or just interested in those who have home ed primary and gone into mainstream secondary

Thanks

I took my son (Year 6) out of school in February. I am educating him at home until September, when he is starting secondary school. We are both really enjoying home education and he has been a much happier boy because of it. I enjoy being part of his education in a way I never was whilst he was at school. We now have the time to focus on the areas he needs to work on, as well as to do fun stuff.

Home educating your child for two years would provide him with invaluable one-to-one teaching. Presumably, if you are saving on private-school fees you would also be able to pay for a private tutor to coach him for the 11+, if you felt that was necessary.

How does your son feel about being home educated, however? Would he miss his friends? My son was begging me to home educate, so this was never a problem, but it would be a shame if your son doesn't want to leave his school.

Hi Toffee - thanks for reply.
Yes would look to use a tutor for 11+ too - though him being at home means no income so would only be once a week tutor.
He wants to do home-ed but i think its for the wrong reasons... he says he is fine at school but prefers being at home. I have clearly explained we will be doing work and there won't be any xbox etc!! I would keep him doing lots of out of school clubs football, judo, swimming etc and we regularly have his friends round so would keep that going.

Good to hear it is a positive experience for you both - how has yours find it with socialising with his friends? How do his friends react to home schooling? I am kind of worried that he might get teased for it, mind you kids will always find something to tease about won't they1

With regards to socialising - it sounds as if your son will be fine. My son's problem was that he was feeling bullied by his classmates and had fallen out with his best friend, so the last thing he wanted was to be sociable. He kept in touch with one other good friend, who I invited round regularly, and he has now asked to see another boy, who has been asking to see him. I think it's just taken him time to want to interract socially with his peers after being so hurt. We have tried lots of clubs over the years, but, at the moment, he's just not interested.

As a result, I have worried that he is socially isolated, but this doesn't seem to bother him at all. In fact, he is a lot less stressed than he used to be. I think he needed time to himself.

It sounds as if socialising won't be a problem for your son if he already enjoys going to out-of-school clubs and having friends round.

His friends miss him (even the ones who were part of the group who were isolating him) and have all sent him cards wishing him well and begging him to come back. They are intrigued by him being home schooled, but they all think he is 'ill' and we haven't given them any other explanation. Nobody has teased him for it. They probably think it's great, rather than 'weird'.

My main worry has been that my son isn't getting enough physical exercise. If he enjoyed sports clubs, as your son does, this wouldn't be an issue. Without that discipline, I find it really hard to fit exercise into the day, apart from the walk up to and back from school to get DS2. If we were doing this longer term, I think I would have to do something about that, but, as it is, we'll just try to take some long summer walks and go swimming sometimes, I think.

One really nice thing about home educating my son is that I feel much closer to him, like I used to feel with him before he started school. It has been really good for us from that point of view and I will never regret this time.

There are probably Home ed meet ups in halls and parks some days near where you live. There may also be parents or a company who offer group lessons (which you share the cost for)in some subjects - often science and maths and art. Many areas have home ed email lists on yahoo groups etc where people can arrange meet ups or post events.Google for home ed in your area or checkout a site like Education Otherwise. - this would keep your son socialising if he needs breaks during the day and its really good to meet other parents and learn from their experiences.

Although my eldest was remorselessly bullied in the playground - this was the bit she said missed most! So going to a meet up twice a week for play replaced this well for her. After year 3 I home edded my eldest and my other 2 never went to school - all are now in secondary and doing extremely well academically. My youngest would come home again at the drop of a hat, though she likes school but my circumstances changed and its not possible.

They retained some of their old friends, but a few of the parents were very rude about our decision. My DD1's mum's BF banned them from seeing each other over the decision to home ed as she claimed it was causing trouble as her DD wanted to be HE'd too - but I think she just thought it was too weird.

It was a lovely, lovely time and like Toffee I miss it. Although I think we are a much closer family because of it.

Thanks both for your messages. Its such a massive decision I keep getting really excited, followed by very cold feet. I am sure DS will be very bored of me all the time... and I wonder if I have the patience. Its a hard one. Will look into local groups.... how ignorant that person banning their DD from seeing yours because of home-ed!

Yes, how awful about that parent banning her DD from seeing Enid's! I must say, no one has been rude about our decision, although I'm sure some people think it's a bit odd or that I'm mollycoddling my DS. To be honest, I don't care and, anyway, we are having a lovely time.

The excitement coupled with cold feet sounds very normal, Fedup. That's exactly how I felt. It's a good idea to look into local groups and maybe start to plan what you might do together. My son and I started by imitating the school day (his choice because that is what he was used to), which helped us both to adjust. We are more relaxed about it now, but I still make sure he does certain things every day, eg Mathswhizz.

It did take me a long time to finally make the decision to home educate. During this time, I tried to make it work at school, whilst at the same time exploring the option of home education by meeting people who were home educating and reading books about it. Oh, and reading this topic on MN, of course. I think you'll probably know when you are ready to make the leap.

I am particularly glad that my son has missed Year 6 because it is a tough year, with children feeling stressed about moving on to secondary, some of them starting puberty and lots of SATs revision, all of which was incredibly stressful for my son. I get the impression that a lot of the year is taken up with SATs revision, with little time for anything else. If you are home educating, you will be able to spread out revision for 11+, rather than 'cramming' it all at the end.

With regard to your son getting bored of you: you may be pleasantly surprised. My son and I have developed a friendly companionship during home ed. We can always go off and do our own thing if we have had enough of each other, but that doesn't seem to happen much.

As for patience - yes, you do need patience! My son was impossible with me last week when I was trying to go through multiplication with him. He would never have behaved like that with a teacher. I kept my temper (I have had a lot of practise!) and eventually he calmed down and did the work. Although that was challenging for me, I did feel immensely proud that I had been the one who taught him something he had been struggling with.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.