Flexi schooling - any experiences

[Gotabookaboutit]

Against the odds our headmaster and LEA have agreed to flexi schooling for my 8 yr old

Just wondered what peoples experiences of flexi schooling were?

Its an area that I am really keen on. What is your new timetable? I would love to have my DC at home for a day of individual learning each. I think that their confidence and learning would increase and I would be able to be a positive influence for a whole day rather than just a few tired hours after school. Can I ask some questions? Why did you decide to do it? Did you meet lots of resistance? What do you plan to do with the time? What would you do if there was a particular event on at school that day? I'm sorry to have hijacked your question with loads of my own. I hope some other people have experience!

Yes, can you tell us more? Am interested.

Complicated back story, Older sibling with complex disability and challenging behaviour plus DS2 has always disliked school - used to have Fridays off but at 5 school were uncooperative and we just sort of jogged along.

However he has recently become very withdrawn alternating with aggression. I asked school if they could help and to be honest they were very nice but a bit useless (I think funding as well as a general lack of how to deal with social problems).

So I found a private counsellor but due to eve commitments was only available during day. School were ok with him having Wed afternoons off - then she then recommended a guitar teacher ( DS hated school guitar lessons) and it just so of hit me that he could have an hour of guitar/music therapy in the morning, swim or walk with me for a few hours then have counselling in the afternoon.

I approached the head who started mentioning welfare officers etc so I asked if they objected what resources were school going to provided and I phoned head of inclusion (who I have talked to a lot because of DS 1) and he said he would have no problem with Flexi schooling, He asked me for how long - I said at least 1/2 term he said well I'll say OK for a whole term and then lets see how we go !!!!

Do have to write a letter with the head to say we will keep up with the literacy and numeracy work missed on the Wed morning.

It sounds like your DS needs to be out of school for a day! I hope it all works out for you. It sounds really interesting what you are doing and I am glad he's doing better and enjoying his 'day off' :)

I'd love to hear (or read) some more flexi experiences - we are thinking of flexischooling my DH's DD (13). Never really looked into it before.

We flexi-school DD who's in Yr3 (almost 8). She does 5 mornings a week and I pick her up at the start of lunch. We've been doing this since autumn half-term in year 3. The reason for this was DD has an improving physical disability, lost her LSA when she moved from Infant to Junior school and then was unable to cope with full-time school and the rest of life!

My initial plan was to improve her phonics, over-learn some basic maths, read lots of fiction to her and study any topic that seemed appropriate, school topic or personal interest. We have permission to do this until the end of this academic year when all things will be reviewed.

Generally it's been fab, and despite having some difficult days/weeks, I have been pleased with the oppportunity to spend good times together. Her reading's improved enormously, we've read lots more books that we'd ever normally have had opportunity to and I've found out a lot about how she thinks and learns.

The main downside has been that it's seriously cut into the amount of time I had available to get jobs done and time for myself (what was that again?). Also she still has spellings, times tables and school readers which can be a pain however at least they're no longer having to be done after school, and she really was not up to doing those as well.

When there's been school trips, visiting guests or productions the school's had her in all day, and because it's one-offs it's not a problem for her tiredness. Overall the school's been great and I've learnt loads, and increased my level of patience!!

Flyingseagull, that sounds great.

My ds has big issues around school. Frankly, he wouldn't go. At all given the choice. We are now at the stage where it's like a return to leaving a reception child in the mornings. Lots of clinging, trying to follow me out of the door and tears before breakfast! I asked school if we might shorten his day further, or shorten his week by doing say 4 instead of 5 days but they have said that's not a good idea as he DOESN'T WANT TO ATTEND AT ALL and we may have a big problem in getting him there in the future if we cut his week down at this stage.

Because of his OCD/Tourettes (ASD dx aged 4) he doesn't want to leave his bedroom never mind the house and I'm worried he won't do any work with me at home without a meltdown so.....we could end up with him at home for a day, on his computer or wanting to play Pacman alone. It must sound ridiculous but, his psychiatrist has said, if that's what he wants to do, let him. Don't add to his anxiety by making him do stuff that's just too anxiety provoking for him. It's so sad because he's a clever boy (high functioning autism) but school's all going wrong. It's a good school and we're hoping he will get a place at mainstream HS with an attached AS Unit for Sept 12 but, he's actually mentally ill at the moment and schools a huge part of that anxiety. He gets loads of downtime at school, has full 1:1 TA's but he absolutely hates it.

I have no idea what to do!!

Also, I wonder if I have the patience.

wendihouse22
It must sound ridiculous but, his psychiatrist has said, if that's what he wants to do, let him. Don't add to his anxiety by making him do stuff that's just too anxiety provoking for him.

It does not sound ridiculous at all. I guess he is in Y5 from what you say about secondary from 2012? If the psych is saying that you should not increase his stress, have you considered deregistering him for now and then reconsidering next summer whether he is well enough to start secondary in September? Although you may initially get refusal to leave his bedroom or do anything other than Pacman, by removing the daily stress and inevitable tension with (and in) you, you may find that it is easier to agree the sorts of activities you'd like him to do.

In your position, I'd seriously consider withdrawing him from school now and telling yourself, the family and DS that you are starting the summer holidays early. You could then leave him be except for non-negotiable family stuff until at least August. In September, you could then see if he is at a point where he wants to do what you would call "educational" stuff.

If you need someone to talk to, PM me and I'll give you numbers. You may also find it helpful to join the HE-Special email list (see the he-special website).

Well done that psychiatrist! Speaking from personal experience, for Aspergers-type people, anxiety attacks can hit - and miss - on the oddest things. My aspie son at 17 would refuse to break into a group of people already talking because he'd find that a cripplingly horrible prospect, but he nevertheless gave a conference presentation to 100 people with no trouble because they were already sitting there waiting for him. So all bets are off. It's not like a situation where you can say "oh well if you can't even do x, how will you ever manage y and z". In other words, with some children who are too anxious to go to school, they don't get somehow "less brave" by not having to confront that particular fear. If that makes sense?

sorry, pressed send too soon. Adding to previous post. For my family it's as we have a limited supply of the-ability-to-deal-with-anxiety and it just makes a whole lot more sense not to squander some of the limited supply on things which just wouldn't MATTER if life was arranged differently. Because the terror level is sky-high just the same for everything.

SDeuchars....I'd also worry, that because he is an only child and has no friends (as such) then I'd be adding to his isolation and mine, by removing him from the school "social" environment, such as it is. I did ask them if we might do a shortened day of some sort but they felt that we were heading for "school refusing" if we went down that route. They have organised a meeting next Friday with Ed Psych (never met before) to discuss. We already have Cheshire Autism Services on board, a Statement, 1:1 TA, lots of downtime, small group work, a social group for approx 4 children (which he enjoys) on Mon and Friday. So, if I remove him from ALL of it, totally, then he stuck with just me. No family close by, a DH who works long hours/away much of the week and no other kids.

It's hard to know what to do for the best because sometimes he asks me...."why haven't I got anyone to play with?" We've tried various (all) kids social groups......beavers, football, trampolining, swimming club, gymnastics, walking our vet's dog (as a "novelty" way of getting him out of the house). He found all of them so very difficult.

Would it be possible for him to do the social group on Monday and Friday while not doing the other things?

Hmmm....not sure. I guess I need to write down all of the options I consider viable and bring it up on Friday, at this meeting. One of the big things on his Statement is developing social skills and inclusion so, I guess he needs others around him (not just me and our cat, cause that's who's at home) to achieve this.

For me, he won't even go to Morrisons for a loaf of bread and some chocolate frogs!