How would you H.E my daughter ??

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, I have a 6 year old daughter who has a developmental delay of 2 years. She has speech and language difficulties and finds listening and processing the information she hears hard. She isn't fully toilet trained either.

She's been HE since Christmas and to be honest I'm finding it very hard knowing what to do with her. We are kind of autonamous/ child led, but she dosn't want to do anything appart from play in the garden, watch DVD's or go out and about. She loves imaginary play and will act out what she's seen on her DVD's or books.

She is very hard work when she's bored and being in the house with her all day or even for a morning on my own is very hard. I'm itching to get out! She is constantly either talking or making silly noises. Her speech is difficult to understand sometimes and it's very mentally draining to have to listen so hard and try to work out what she's saying or what she actually means by that.

At the moment, we are out most days either shopping or going to peoples houses or to local farms and country walks. She dosn't like being taught anything. She has a Brain Gym programe that she has to do every day, but some days she's being so silly, we just can't do it. She also has Stagecoach, Rainbow Guides and Piano lessons each week.

I just feel like she can't possibly be learning anything from this. I do try to give her activities like cooking, play dough etc but she's fed up with it within 10 mins max. She wants me to play her repetative games, exactly as she wants them and gets angry if I don't say the right thing.

I wanted to find a tutor for her just so that I had a bit of guidence and support. If I had more of a set plan, I think it'd be better for both of us. I think going out all the time is my way of trying to make it easier for myself, but I'm not feeling as if we're achieving anything.

I don't want to start formal learning until she's ready but I want to do things to prepare her for it.

I just wondered what sort of things you would do with her if she was yours? It would be good to get different ideas from families with different learning styles. I know there are so many HE families on here that are far more experienced than me and I hope I'll be pushed in the right direction.

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if she enjoys being outdoors maybe have a look at this... www.rspb.org.uk/youth/learn/waa/home.aspx

the rspb do a wildlife action awards scheme, with bronze, silver and gold levels. they have a selection of outdoors activities to choose from and you do 6 to achieve an award.

some of the tasks might be beyond your dd due to her age but others, like birdwatching or planting a wild garden might be enjoyable.

at her age i wouldnt worry too much about formal teaching or fret too much about it. she will be learning things all the time (even if she's not sitting at a desk writing in a book)

I should also mention that she's an only child and appart from the clubs she goes to, doesn't really meet with other children. We try to go to as many HE get togethers as we can but I don't drive so it's more tricky.

Oh thanks, I'll have a look at that, it sounds fun. I looked into Forest school, which is either weekend or day activities but it's so expencive. You could have a small holliday for the same money. I might do a day one with her soon though.

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Hi

If I were you I would carry on going out a lot. Farms and country walks sounds fine to me. I don't see anything wrong with making life bearable for the parent. I used to read stories out loud while we were walking (there's a knack to it...) I'd also zone out a bit while she is doing her imaginary play. Some of what you describe reminds me of my son (now 18) but I was lucky and had my mum over once a week who would cheerfully play all those special games in a particular order which my Theo liked so much and which I found incredibly boring.

I zone out a bit when she's doing her imaginary play too. She has just started asking questions that actually make sence, so that's a positive.
I'm thinking of sending her to a child minder once a week so that she can play with other children and DH and I cn have some chill out time together. I think one day a week would be fine for her as long as she likes the child minder.

Hello mummyloveslucy.
I have just mentioned the Month in the life of..........blog on the HE Special Needs website and wondered if it would be useful for you?
Several different parents have written about their HE with children with a variety of special needs, for about a month at a time. Each of them home educates in the style best suited to their SEN children.
Don't know how updated the other people's blogs there are. I haven't updated mine for some years, (I'm Ann from Worcestershire there) but the gist of how we, and other families, can be gleaned.
Might be useful.

I meant to say if I recall correctly, 'Abbie' on that blog had some challenges, similar to those you describe.

and LOL at Fiona.........I've seen her and Theo 'zone out' from each other!

Can you pick something to focus on - for example her speech - and make that your goal during activities?

You could structure your interactions around specific sounds see

Oops hit post!

...seeing as she seems to like talking and making noises.

What's difficult to understand about her speech in particular? Is it something you could identify and work on without a SALT's input?

Thanks everyone. She has just had her first speech therapy apointment in 12 months, so at least she'll be getting some help with that and they will probubly be giving her excercises to do at home too.

I decided to home ed her after she had such a hard time at a very small private school who everyone thinks is fantastic. They had no idea of SEN's. It really put her off school and now she's quite scared of being sent to school again, even a different one.
I also worry about her being teased due to her speech etc. There are so many things I'd be concerned about. She also won't do any work unless a teacher is sitting right beside her, helping her. I don't think she'd manage in a class of 30.

Just wanted to say that repetitive games are very valuable for a child of this age - try reading Playful Parenting - it will help your tolerance of this kind of game! If you do more of the repetitive game playing then you will probably find that your child is generally happier and also more willing to do other things.