Intending to HE- nursery/preschool?

[EauRouge]

Hello, I think this is my first post in this section although I've been reading it for a while and you are all very helpful

DD1 is 2.6 yo and DH and I are interested in HE. We haven't decided 100% but it is very likely that it's the path we'll take until we emigrate to Canada- DD1 will be 7 or 8 by this time so will go into school then.

Now that DD1 is 2.6 yo, a lot of people have been asking when we are going to send her to nursery. Being a SAHM on a very tight budget I've never really thought about sending her, it's expensive and unnecessary when I'm at home anyway. I know they get some free hours when they turn 3 but I also like the freedom of being able to wake up and decide what to do that day, not being tied to the routine of nursery on set days a week. Is that bad? I know she'll have to get used to a routine when she's older but at this age is it OK to have no structure to the week? I don't cope well with routine (history of anxiety problems).

The other thing is that people keep saying she will benefit from the social interaction. She does love playing with other children and it's made me waver a bit. I take her to playgroup once or twice a week but all the children her age seem to be in nursery now.

Any advice would be brilliant, including how to cope with all the 'why aren't you sending her to nursery' questions if we do decide not to send her! TIA :)

Get in touch with your local home ed group - they often have email forums and some have websites - do a google search (you could look at Education otherwise site as they have some local he links) many have meetings once a week for younger children , if not then open meetings usually cater for all age groups and people there can give you advice and you could make contact with mums with younger children or siblings there and organise meet ups in the park etc.

You could look into using the free hours when she turns 3 - some places you can only book for am or pm sessions - so you could do a few afternoon sessions a week if you really feel she needs more socialising in a structured environment.

Fwiw, I home ed my ds now 5.5, but I did decide to send him to nursery. My reasons were the nursery I chose was totally play based, as opposed to the one attached to our local school, which was all uniforms and lining up and being quiet and sitting in circles, school in another form I felt.

He played out in all weathers, they had brilliant facilities outside, including a little tiny meadow area with a fort and a pond (gated off but regularly visited) even though it was in a very urban area.

For me I felt that it would be good for my ds to learn how to find his place in a group of children, learn to rough and tumble, take turns, share etc. He is an only and although we have lots of people in and out of the house all the time, and his is very sociable and able to interact with people of all ages, I felt that nursery was a valuable environment for him to achieve these things, and that once learned, they were skills he would not forget, so didn't need to go to school to learn them, iyswim.

I now work extremely hard to make sure that he has plenty of opportunities to play with other kids now, and do not worry at all about his 'socialising', (what everyone will always object to if you he)!

It worked for us, but, whatever you decide, it will be best for your family, that's the brilliant thing about he, you don't have to try and squeeze yourselves into molds dictated by others. As for coping with the q's, just say, we decided this suited our family better, and then firmly change the subject!

Hth.

Thanks for your thoughts :) I think I will see what home ed groups there are nearby and if I have no luck then I'll go and have a nosy around the local nurseries to see what they're like.

Is that Education Otherwise website worth joining?

EauRouge, I'm in the same postion with a 2.6 year old DS, and already fed up of people asking me when he will be going to nursery. My solution has been to take DS to lots of parent and toddler playgroups, where I can sit back and let him interact with the other children, and also to make sure he also spends lots of time playing with friends (usually in our house/garden but sometimes we also meet up at the park etc.)

We live in a 'deprived' inner city area so are lucky that there are lots of good quality toddler groups run by churches and children's centres - either free or for a nominal cost of about 50p. (I could take DS to at least 2 groups a day if I chose, and it would only cost about £7 a week!) We only go to a few though, as I think it's also important to spend time at home chilling out and playing.

I think joining a home ed. group is a great idea. We haven't done this yet, but will definitely start going along when DS's friends all start taking up their free pre-school places.

Hello, and welcome!

I think it is a really good idea to see if there are any local HE groups and go along at least occasionally. Parent and toddler groups may meet your daughter's social need for the time being; you could also make a habit of going to a popular local park after morning nursery or primary school finishes and may make some friends that way, as certain families always stop off there on the way home so you will run into the same people repeatedly.

However, for many young children a time comes when they are no longer content to play exclusively with younger kids; their games get more sophisticated and they want playmates who understand. There also comes an age when they begin to want some continuity in friendships.

For my daughter, this development led to a period of discontent because we didn't yet have enough close HE contacts and had no neighbour children. Old friends from the toddler group days were too busy or too tired to meet up after school. She was lonely.

We started going to every HE activity available, even if they weren't really our cup of tea, just to get to know people better and to network our way to other families. Eventually this paid off and in a few years we had enough friends to keep even my super-sociable child happy.

I'd recommend getting together with other HE families occasionally at least, even if you decide to give nursery a try. If your daughter does go to nursery, she may get swept up in all the pro-school fervour there as they work on preparing the children for this new step and try to sell the idea to any who may be reluctant. The result could be that she may feel left out because she isn't going to go to "big school" too. The best antidote to this is knowing that she'll have fun if she is home educated, knowing that there are friends she can play with in the daytime, regular activities, and daytrips. (She can be happily home educated without these things, but if they are available then that will probably make it seem more appealing to her.)

You may find that while people are slightly surprised at your preference not to send your daughter to nursery, there aren't so many eyebrows raised. The last statistic I read about this, a few years ago, 91% of eligible three-year-olds were making use of the government-funded nursery sessions. That means nearly one in ten wasn't.

Enjoy your time with your daughter! I'm sure you will find ways to make it all work.

Saracen- that's a great tip about going to the park, thanks. There's also a soft play (I know, I know) in a cafe in my village which is popular with toddlers.

Greenbananas- you're not in Cambs are you?