"I doubt it is because they fear your kids are weird. It's more likely they are worried their kids will ask, "Why do I have to go to school?" The simple answer which many parents fall back on is "Everybody has to go to school", and the existence of home education undermines that easy answer. "
I dunno, not sure I agree. Most non-HErs seem secure in their decision. I don't think they are generally running scared of their kids asking awkward questions (isn't that basically what kids do?)
When I was a non-HEing parent, happy with the my kids' schools, I really wasn't threatened by HErs. Really not. It wasn't something that, at that time, I wanted to do and it wasn't something I understood really. But if my kids had asked me, "why do we have to go to school when x doesn't?", my reaction would have been twofold. First, is this a question born of curiosity? Are they simply asking why different families do different things? Second, is there something they are struggling with at school, are they unhappy in some way? Are there things about HE that they find interesting, or that we might want to try? Do we need to schedule less at weekends-do they want more downtime? Or more-are they seeing specific exciting things that they want to do? Do they want more time with us? Etc. Finally, ultimately, I am really comfortable explaining to my kids that different things do work for different families and that people are different. In other words, just as HErs do, I would have approached the question of their education creatively. I think most of my friends would ultimately have done the same.
My social butterfly girls really have struggled with the cliquey-ness they've encountered in HE groups (haven't seen much of this brilliant integration, I'm afraid!), but get on brilliantly in Scouts and Woodcraft Folk, so on top of this being seen as "weird" in the playground really does not help them (we're newcomers to the area-people tend to assume we've been HEing long term, not that its a temporary thing). They've already moved schools once, before HE, and have lived in different parts of the country, so they really are pretty used to joining in a new group, and I'm used to encouraging them to make new friends. I think the difference is pretty simple. Youth groups actively encourage groups to break up and welcome new kids, whereas in HE groups, its luck of the draw as to whether anyone will even let you play, the parents don't step in, and most kids here have known each other most of their lives. I'm totally willing to accept this isn't typical and that we've drawn a short straw, but its hard, and is the big reason we probably won't continue HE after our next move.