Someone say it will be OK

[pantstastic]

I am finding it hard to cope under the gaze of my neighbours and everyone knowing my kids aren't at school.

Today my son threw a raw egg over the fence into my neighbours garden. She has a swimming pool,luckily the cover was on. We dont really see eye to eye anyway. I have written a heartfelt letter to her apologizing but it just throws up all these feelings of inadequacy that I already had.

She will be really cross and I cant blame her. He says it was an accident, they were playing egg and spoon races.

What am I doing wrong.

hi, what actually do YOU think you are doing wrong?

how old is your son? what sort of support network do you have (partner, family?). sorry for the questions but you seem really down and i want to be able to help x x

Are you saying that you think your neighbour will form a negative idea about how well you are home educating because of your sons egg throwing incident?

O.K. throwing eggs isn't exactly model citizen behaviour, and I'm not excusing your son - and in fact I think your son should have been the one to write a letter of apology. But I can tell you that some of the children around my way are a lot worse. Especially after a long day spent in school and the holidays. It tends to be the only thing about the long summer days I don't look forward to. My neighbour and I have had eggs thrown at our children whilst they were actually playing the garden. There have been attempts to set my garden on fire and I have been subject to some pretty foul language too. These children go to school. So I wouldn't let yourself feel inadequate as either a mother or a home educator.

Are you not getting support from anyone? I know my family mostly disaprove of HE but at least they keep it to themselves. It can be tough to bear scrutiny from people around you about your choices especially when your children are out and about and other children are all in or away, and you feel like your family sticks out like a sore thumb, and every. single. thing. your. child. does. is. being. watched. and. evaluated. and. compared. to. other. kids. that. aren't. actually. around.

Thank you,

I have calmed down a bit now.

He is 8, he is just a really mischeivous boy, with lots of energy.

I am just starting out in Home ed and so am slowly building a network.

I will be OK, it's just that when they are naughty you know that everyone is thinking those kids should be in school. I have got to get used to it.

to be honest, if i saw a kid behaving badly i would just think "bloody kids" rather than draw any links to their educational provision :)

have you found your local HE group on yahoo?

i think if you start worrying what everyone else is thinking you will drive yourself bonkers x (especially as i bet 99% of the time they aren't thinking anything like what you imagine)

big hugs x

That's it exactly shineynewthings.

When they are naughty I cant help raising the question, I am doing the right thing? I am I up to this?

It is early days though. I just have to remember why I am doing it in the first place.

• Am I up to this.

CheerMum,

Yes I do drive myself bonkers.

I have found my local group and they seem a lovely bunch of people. Just waiting for the kids to integrate a little bit with the other children.

Thanks for the sympathy.

...and it's Easter holidays anyway, so even if they were in school they wouldn't be, they would be out throwing eggs or whatever just the same. I sort of don't like school holidays because all the places we go to are packed, but at the same time it's quite nice to be able to go out and not have to be braced for questions about why they are not in school.