Tell me about your average day.

[shimmerysilverglitter]

I want to HE my 8 year old ds. He has ASD but very High Functioning. To be honest I just don't know where to start though. If someone can just point me gently in the right direction I know I will be able to carry on with it. To be honest, anything would be better than where he is now. He is 8 but his maths results show the abilities of a 5 year old. I know he is capable but just totally unmotivated to perform at school, he hates it.

So tell me the basics. Do you have a structure? Do you loosely follow the NC? I found a website called @school, which looks as though it could be useful and really good value for resources etc. Where do you get your ideas from. I know that once I start I will be fine, I am like this with all massive tasks, terrified of starting and then once I start I am away!!

So tell me what kinds of things you would be doing with an 8 year old. Do you timetable the day, do you sit down at the beginning of the week and plan what you will be doing. I am in London so great for trips to back up learning.

HELP!

Also what sites do you use please? Have been looking at the BBC Key Stage site today and that looks pretty good. Many thanks for whatever you can tell me no matter how small.

We are structured as that works well for all of us. We have 3 DCs, who are 13, 11 and 9. The DCs have their breakfast, do their chores and get ready for the day. They start at 8.30 (well they are supposed to!) with piano practice and handwriting or reading. We start 'work' at 9am and have a timetable (after much trial and error and discussion, this has turned out to work best, particulary for DS1 (13) who struggles with organising himself).

We work for 2 hours, have a quick break, then another hour till lunchtime. They usually make/help make lunch, then DS2 & DD do reading/handwriting or piano (whatever they didn't do in the morning) while DS1 does another hour.

In the afternoons we go to French/Spanish on a Monday (I teach a small group of 3 HE families) and they have their piano lesson (one of the other mums). Tuesday afternoon, they usually go to the park with their dad for 'sport'. Wednesday we do whatever we fancy and Thursday we are just starting a Unit Study with another family on the Narnia books - so will be meeting up to do some of the fun activities/discussion for that. Friday we are both at work, so have someone come in and she does cooking/baking/sewing with them in the afternoon but it doesn't take all afternoon. Of course if the weather is nice, we may just go out and take advantage of it!!

There is a structured home ed forum here which will give you loads of information about different resources/ methods etc.

We are totally autonomous, an idea that tends to make some people nervous especially when they are removing their children from school. So I can understand if you aren't keen to let your son decide what and how he learns and follow his lead on everything.

However, "everyone says" that one big mistake they made on starting HE was to rush out and buy a load of stuff which they later decided they didn't like. There's no hurry, so why not start with work which requires little or no investment? Then you can take your time to experiment, borrow resources from other people, take advantage of trial offers and so on. It's quite unusual for parents to decide on their exact approach in advance and then stick to it for a long time. Most of us pick up and discard many different approaches and resources as we find what works for us.

A second mistake many people say they made is scheduling too many hours of formal learning from the outset and ending up in battles with their children. Home ed takes far less time than school. Some of the learning that children do is through spontaneous discussions with parents, and other informal unplanned opportunities. I'd imagine that Mistake Number One (buying too much stuff) makes it harder to escape from from Mistake Number Two, because you've made a big financial commitment and you don't want all those books you bought to sit on the shelf gathering dust!

So... here are a few of the free and nearly-free things we do, which might be fun to start with.

Eurotalk JLC online language learning competition has just kicked off for this year. For just £2.50 you have unlimited access to computer games for learning Portuguese. Get a high enough score and you'll qualify to learn a second language, on which you can compete in a live regional heat. Come out well in that, and you can learn a third language and go on to the national championship.

BBC iPlayer. There are lplenty of good documentaries on many subjects which you can watch streamed or download and save for up to 30 days. African Railway, The Truth about Lions, Wonders of the Universe, and The Highest Court in the Land are among the ones I've just downloaded.

Days out. You sound enthused about all that's on your doorstep in London. You can get out far more easily than a school can, so you don't have to use this just to "back up" some desk-based learning. Why not start out at a museum, wander around and see what grabs your son's attention? If there is something that really enthuses him, perhaps he'll want to follow up with visits to other places of interest or borrow some books on the subject from

The library. Go with a purpose or just wander around and grab an armload of books you think your son might like.

Have fun. I am sure you are right in thinking that once you start you will be fine!

Thank you for your input. I am also just starting out and such sharing is very helpful :)

I HE my 12 year old with Asperger's, who was deregistered at 10. We do work to a structure but it's flexible - I start off with a timetable of weekly essentials and special events then build other work and social life around them. Ds works best with structure but we do like to throw in a few surprises to give him the experience of spontaneity.

As your son is autistic, my advice would be to work on his personal development as a priority as he will need those skills as he gets older as much as or even more than academic. If he has good social, emotional and life skills he can tackle his 'proper' education when he's ready. I've taken that approach with ds and he's thrived on it - it's surprising how much a child can learn academically once they're in a calm and supportive environment . As long as you're covering the basics as well as life skills he should do well.

I found Maths Whizz a good resource and Mathletics has a good report too. You can get discounts through Education Otherwise. Brainpop is good for worksheets and online games linked to NC. I second IPlayer for documentaries and learning resources - also try BBC Schools programmes.

Really, the world is your oyster and you can do things whichever way you like and is suitable to your ds. Most people end up trying things out and if they don't work, moving on to something that does. Trail and error, really.

Good luck!

Hi

You say that your son is totally unmotivated at school. From experience, I would say that there is a type of autistic person (my son for example) who just won't do anything if they can't see the point. "Because everyone has to do it" just doesn't seem like a good reason. They had endless trouble with my son Theo at playgroup because if he was busy playing with trains he saw no reason to break off and make a Mother's Day card or have a snack if he personally wasn't hungry or didn't like the look of the food.

So I guess my advice - after home educating my son right through (he's 18 in a couple of weeks) would be that if they are rigid, you have to be flexible or else ready to square up for a "heated discussion" about anything and everything. Pick your battles, be prepared to line up lots of interesting stuff and have it rejected out of hand. I obviously don't know if your son resembles mine in any way but I also found that mine hated the freefall of unstructured blank open choices "what would you like to do today" but it worked pretty well if I said "I thought we might do x today" because Theo would then say "not now, I'm busy".

I have only recently started home educating my son, who is 11. He has a lot of Asperger's characteristics, although he is undiagnosed, and he is also dyslexic. So far, we love home education. We feel much closer and he is much easier to deal with now that he is not stressed out by school.

My son starts work at around 9.30, after we have taken my youngest boy to school. He finishes work between 12 and 1pm and the rest of the day is free time for him.

With regard to where to start; I didn't do any 'deschooling'. I chatted with my son about what we should do each day and he wanted to emulate the school timetable because that was what he was used to. So, at first, he started every day with reading, then he did some Maths, then some English. After that, he would do some topic work (I let him choose any subject and he surprised me by wanting to do a topic on fish, which has now evolved into one on 'deep-sea creatures') or cover something else, such as history, with his dad. We are following the National Curriculum for English and Maths, but nothing else.

This worked well, but I have noticed that we are becoming more flexible now. The other morning he really wanted to find out more about what was happening in Japan and to write about it. It seemed ridiculous to tell him he must stick to the routine. After all, that is one of the joys of home education - the flexibility.

We are using BBC Bitesize, which we have found really good. There is a wonderful game on the website called Questionaut. It might be a bit too old for your son, but it has fabulous artwork and music. Both my son and I love it!

Re: the Maths. This week, I have subscribed to Maths Whizz, as Maths is my son's weakest subject and I am not much better. He loves computers, so this has turned out to be a brilliant way for him to learn. It costs £20 a month, which is loads cheaper than a tutor (which I was considering). Like your son, mine is way behind in maths (Maths Whizz assessed him as having the maths age of an eight-year old). However, he is picking up things at home that completely passed him by at school, simply because he learns better one to one, so I hope that he will catch up. As the intention is that he go to secondary school in September, I am aware that he needs to be on a level with his peers, if possible. I don't put any pressure on him about that, though, and he certainly doesn't know where he is in relation to his age. I think the whole age thing is daft, actually, as every child has a different developmental pathway, particularly if they have special needs.

I have a 'home-ed' file and put all my ideas and plans in there. I've noted down any forthcoming events which my son might enjoy, such as a nature festival or a special day out at a farm, and also any ideas as they occur to me (eg a website showing the world's best underwater photos). I have found several freebies, such as a free bird table (collected coupons from bread for this) and a free 'grow-your-own' vegetable box being provided by a local charity. Next week, I'm taking my son on a trip to the London Aquarium as part of his topic work (not cheap, but it's a one off). In addition to using the internet, we also use the library a lot and watch relevant DVDs (such as David Attenborough's 'The Blue Planet').

My only reservations are that my son is not socialising (this was one of the sources of stress at school, so he doesn't want to see anyone except us for the moment) and he is not getting much exercise (he hates organised sport and clubs). However, I hope that, with the weather changing for the better, we can get out more together, if only for country walks.

I feel like this is a precious time for us and I'm really glad that we are having this time together. I hope you have a lovely time with your son too.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. Very encouraging. From what read here and my own thoughts about ds I do feel that a semi structured approach would work but on my part rather than his. As in "hey ds come and look at this" and be on a Maths site or Language site or something. Not let him know he is expected to be on there for half an hour or something but time myself iyswim. Luckily the PE and Social side of things is taken care of as we belong to a Virgin Active and he has swimming lessons there, plus we swim very often and if he shows interest I will be able to get tennis lessons for him. There is also a place called Club V where you can leave your kids and go for a workout and they are experienced with ASD kids so he will be able to meet other kids there.

I do think for Maths and English I would like to follow some kind of format because my maths skills are shocking and I need to know he is learning something.

Fiona I can't believe how similar your son sounds to mine. Ds just does not see the point in anything unless it is related to his interests and no amount of talking or explaining will do. He doesn't want to do it and thats that. Like sitting down for a story at school, he will ask what the story is and if it doesn't interest him then he will NOT sit down and will go and do something he DOES want to do. It is possible to engage him though using his specific interests, ie transport, trains, cars, transport, trains cars and so ad infinitum .

I am very encouraged by this thread and am going to print it off to refer to. Going to start making some notes and getting some ideas and will buy resources as needed, great library near us as well. I am very lucky to be here in London because whatever the subject matter there will be a trip we can go on that will expand on it. So many museums, activities and galleries etc.

Thanks all again, think I am going to become a regular on this Board!

My son is 7 and HFA and i have been home ed. for a year and a half....my son is very controlling so can be difficult to teach as he likes everything to be his idea,on his terms... we dont do alot of "work"....well not compared to some i have read about lol.

We do a little bit each day some days are better than others depending on his mood.
He loves "bitesize" on the computer and looks forward to that.

I could do with some ideas too........in the past we have taken photographs... some days out,cooking,treasure hunts (with a sum or question on each clue),art ect. and my son wrote under the picture and we had chats about what we did and put into folders.

Today he was on the computer ..bitesize..he was looking at things that dissolve in water amongst other things...then i set up some bowls in the kitchen with flour,rice and sugar...he added cold water and hot water and took pics ...really simple things but he enjoys stuff like this.

Tommorrow we will look at the photos and get him to write a little about what we did and talk about temperature ect.

I must admit i do find it difficult to find things to engage him and he doesnt have much contact with children his age.

when we started HE if i tried to make my son learn it ended in tears from both of us some days as i felt i needed to have work to show,but i had to back off and evenings i leave a couple of books in the living room and he will just pick them up and read them but if i were to ask him to read them it would be a battle.

If anyone else has any ideas im iterested..(may start a thread).

I think a thread would be a great idea, sort of ongoing ideas and input. A support thread kind of thing? Iyswim? Probably one already actually will go and have a look.

Logi my dd is 7 and has Aspergers and aDHD and we have home educated her for 2 years now after a disastrous 7 months in mainstream. She is very controlling /oppositional and defiant will only really contemplate doing something if it incorporates her interests at the time etc. I came across an idea called workboxes which was invented by a lady with an autistic child. Her premise is 12 see through boxes with different activities in each and the child essentially ticks off when done. IVe adapted this for my daughter. We have 6 drawers that we use 3-4 times a week. In each I put an activity. ie for maths i have put in a deck of cards and we do adding by turning over cards and adding the first 2 together etc the one with the highest number of cards wins etc. She loves this but hates maths!!!! One could be a craft activity. One coul be reading a chapter of a book we are looking at. But this way I have maanged to incorporate a lot of different subjects on a more regular basis and she has quite willingly done them. And actually asks for them each day and is disappointed if its a day when she doesn't do them!!!!! Her reward for completing the 6 drawers is a sweet from a sweet tub we have. Today for instance we looked at the government and i drew up a document with her as the prime minister. A page for her manifesto and policies and a budget page. Her party i put as the Pets for All party as she is mad about pets and she loved it. I find if I give her something to do whilst discussing a particular topic it works really well. For instance we looked at the Great Barrier Reef - met with much uncertainty - but I put a piece of blue card in the drawer with cut out fish, turtles ,corals etc and she coloured them in and stuck them on the card to make her own barrier reef whilst I talked about it with her. If you google workboxes you will get the general idea. I simplified it by making less of them and then just ticking of a box when she has finished it. If you want any more ideas let me know.

Any more ideas you have would be most welcome here knat .

Shimmery, your idea sounds rather like an approach which I've heard of called "strewing", LOL. Parents gather together things which they think might interest the child and leave them lying around the house where the child might pick them up. Sometimes I watch a documentary which I want my daughter to see, knowing that she'll come and sit down and watch it too. I've inadvertently found that even reading factual books aimed at adults has the same effect: she always asks "What are you reading?" usually followed by "Will you read it to me?"

I think this counts as autonomous education but I'm not sure; the autonomous purists might disagree.

It also reminds me of some examples given by John Holt, a radical schoolteacher turned advocate of autonomous learning. He said that when he tried to get children to play musical instruments they often weren't interested, but if he himself picked up an instrument and played around with it, making no attempt to get them to join him, then they were quite keen and gathered round. In his opinion, part of the reason was that he was a novice also. His attempts to learn something new were more interesting and inspirational because he wasn't already good at it.

From that point of view, the fact that your maths skills are "shocking" could actually be a bonus. If you decide to tackle this by undertaking some maths study yourself, say with the Open University or using some online learning programme, your son will have the chance to see how people can enjoy learning outside of school and that there are always second chances. You could be a very good model for him!

Hi Knat the "work boxes" sound great,will definately give that a try.