are some children just not cut out for school?

[Caan]

My ds has struggled all the way through primary school, I have moved him twice because of bullying and sen provision and nothing seems to help. I'm not sure what to do anymore.

So, presumably you are considering homeschooling? How old is he?

He's 10, starting at secondary school in September.

Well, I think so. I usually put it the other way round though: "school doesn't suit some children" - because it's the education which should be made to fit the child, not the other way round.

That doesn't mean your particular child could never be happy at any school. But you've tried three now and none of them has worked. So either you have to work very very hard to find a school which will be more appropriate (though such a school may not even exist) or you try home education.

What concerns do you have about home education that make you hesitate to try it?

I'm concerned that I wouldn't be able to cope. I'm a single parent with 4 children. I'm worried that all of them would want to stay at home and I certainly couldn't cope with that.

Have you asked him?
I presume he has a place for September? Have you asked them how they help them settle, about their bullying policy etc.? Will he be meeting up again with DCs from the schools that he left?

In answer to your first question-no I don't think they are all cut out for schools, one size doesn't fit all. However not all parents are cut out for HE -which is the problem. That is why I was asking a few questions.

You may find that your other children wouldn't want to stay home anyway because of their friends etc. Or alternatively they may all want to. But what makes you feel you couldn't cope? It may be easier - no school run hassle, no homework...

He's old enough to know what he wants - how does he feel about HEing?

It will be difficult to explain to other DCs why he gets to stay home and they don't, but I don't think that's a reason not to do what's right for your 10yo.

Children are individual and should be treated as such. Please don't allow your son to continue being bullied and made miserable because you don't know how to placate your other children. Even if it means using the age old 'because I said so' reasoning.

They wouldn't necessarily want to stay at home-I would have hated it as a DC!

I agree with Saracen.

I feel very strongly that a structured, cirriculum-ised education is very wrong for some children.

I have teens and my DS is year 10.

He is ok, but many of his friends really shouldn't be in the school environment anymore.

Let's face it. They are men.

Boys are particularly disenfranchised by the modern education system and I can understand how so many of them lose the plot at some stage.

A couple of generations ago these boys would have been out doing real apprenticeships. Making real things for real people and learning trades that lead to real jobs.

OP - I hope your DS finds his mojo soon. I believe it is there in everyone.

I know I am in danger of sounding like a Katy Perry song but I think everyone has a spark and that it just needs igniting.

Love the Katy perry analogy!

Not suggesting that all your children would want to stay home, but just saying don't let the fear of that prevent you from making the right decision for your 10yo. What other DC think shouldnt really cone into your educational decision for that child IYSWIM

If it helps, my older son is happy that my younger son is home educated and has no intention of leaving school himself. My younger one is happy that my older one is at school and content with his own set of friends. The overall result is that they don't fight with each other the way they used to and they enjoy each other's company in the evenings, sick days, weekends, snow days and holidays.

The impact on our whole family of how unhappy ds2 was prior to deregistering was terrible. Coping with home edding is easier compared to what we have already gone through. At least I have a community of other home educating parents, I had nothing while I was dealing with an undiagnosed asd child in freefall.

I found it helpful to explain what the legal rules are on education and also what my own limits are. We have had to be a lot more honest as a family since turning to home education for ds2.