How do you keep on top of everything else?

[comewhinewithme]

I am HE dd who is 11, I love it and we are doing well but I am struggling with everything else.
The housework is doing my head in, it is piling up and I am feeling really bad about it. I have a toddler at home and 4 other dc are in school so weekdays are a little hectic.
DP helps by doing the dishes in a morning and taking the girls to school before he goes to work, but we live in quite a big house and if I start to let it go it looks terrible quickly.
I can't afford a cleaner am just looking for tips on how you keep on top of it all.

Your set up sounds a lot like mine. I have 4 children in primary school, a toddler and an 11 yr old doing home Ed. I try to do things early in the morning or my 11 year old helps me with some things. I've been teaching her to use the washing machine and do washing. We are doing things about healthy eating atm so she is helping prepareand cook dinners she has planned. I do other jobs when she is busy reading, doing craft etc. We have moved to a fairly autonomous approach to learning though as she isn't open to formal work atm. Also I find a structured approach doesn't work well for us as a family with a toddler at home.

For us, housework isn't one person's job! The house is still a tip but that's everyone's responsibility. DCs are now 13, 11 and 9 - they are responsible for all washing/drying up; setting/clearing the table; feeding the pets and making pots of tea. They will also hoover and they keep their rooms 'tidy' (I use the word tidy quite wrongly there!!)

DS1 cooks tea on a Monday or Tuesday; DS2 cooks tea under supervision on a Friday. DP and I share the other nights and DD is a dab hand at preparing vegetables. With cleaning, we'll often do it as a concerted effort - all working together and then treating ourselves to a DVD or a game.

We have a nanny comes in one day a week when we are both at work and she irons the DCs clothes/bedding (although DS1 now has to iron his own t-shirts).

The kids do quite a lot in our house - they help with tidying up, sweeping floors, stacking and unstacking dishwashers, cooking, pushing washing away etc.

It is all part of HE in our house.

Chill out about it, no one ever ley on there death bed and said " if only i had dusted more".
as long as its not a heath hazared do stuff as and when. if the kids watch a film you'v got 1 1/2hrs ect. good luck.

It must be really hard to keep on top of it all if you have a toddler at home too and you are doing all the housework, as well as home educating your 11-year old.

I would say: get a housework routine set up (if you haven't already); and get your children involved. Why should you be doing all the work?

I'm home educating DS1 (11) and DS2 is at school. I use the Flylady system, which is basically planning a routine that works for you and sticking to it, as well as doing a daily extra job in the house every day. If I keep to the basic routines then the main housework is sorted. You can read more about the system here. However, I advise not joining up (you'll be inundated with emails and purple prose). Instead, you could pop over to the latest MN Flylady thread, which is here. It's a very friendly thread and several people on it have home educated or are home educating at the moment.

Since DS1 has stopped going to school, I have been getting him to do more in the house. Monday is our day to do a one-hour tidy and clean in the house and he now does his own room. He hoovers, makes his bed, puts his clothes away, empties his bin, tidies up and cleans his windows. I have to say that his enthusiasm for this has waned as the weeks have passed, but he still does it!

He is doing more around the house anyway since he has been off school and is now popping over to the local shop and cooking simple meals for us, all of his own initiative. This is building up his confidence and is certainly educational.

DS2 (5) has seen DS1 doing more and he is now helping out more too. He loves hoovering.

I work freelance at home and have to say that when I have work on as well and deadlines to meet (as now) the house descends into chaos. Housework and tidiness comes third on the list after home ed and work. I try not to get too stressed by it.

My 11yo does quite a lot of the housework. The way I look at it, she has quite a lot of extra free time on her hands since she isn't at school. Most of that time is spent playing and relaxing, but there's no reason she shouldn't be doing an hour or two of housework a day.

She does a good share of repetitive boring jobs but I make sure not to just dump those on her: some of the household tasks she does are quite interesting and challenging. Why not ask your daughter which jobs appeal to her most? There may be things on her list which surprise you. Mine loves anything that an 11yo wouldn't usually be expected to do! Among her favourites are checking the car over (oil, water, tyre pressure etc) and filling up windscreen fluid, changing windscreen wipers; DIY, cooking, ironing, troubleshooting computer problems, and shopping.

I also find that though I rarely ask her to keep her little sister occupied, the very fact she is around means she plays with her more, and that helps me too. If your daughter has left school recently then she may not yet have reconnected with her toddler sibling, but maybe she will as time goes on.

I homeschool my 5 year old as well as doing an MBA myself. I would highly recommend Flylady. I couldn't really cope before and now my apartment is immaculate! Just 2 hours a day is all it takes.

Back again, thanks for all the replies they are really helpful and have gven me some food for thought.

I do use some parts of flylady. Shiny sink down,15 minute blitz etc etc and it does help.

I think I was just feeling a bit down about it all yesterday as we had got off to a bad start.

2 hours a day doing housework!