New to home ed -loving it so far. What was I worried about?

[Toffeefudgecake]

I just wanted to say hello to everyone on the home ed board.

Some of you have already posted on my threads. I have been worried about my eldest son (11) for some time as he has been growing increasingly unhappy with school since November - although school has always been a mixed experience for him. He is borderline Asperger's, dyslexic and very anxious. School has never been easy for him.

A couple of weeks ago I told the head that I was going to home educate him and she supported me (because she is an exceptional, understanding woman who could see that my son was utterly miserable in the school environment in spite of all our interventions). I'm cheating really, because she persuaded me not to deregister him (he wants to go to secondary school in Sept so wants access to open days, etc), but is happy for us to plan our own routine. He is on sick leave and will be on flexi-time for the last six weeks of the school year before the summer, which means he will have access to school should he want it.

I was really, really apprehensive about having him at home with me all day. He can be such a difficult child, to say the least. Several of you told me that he would be completely different once he was being home educated. That proved to be right. He is a different child. The first week we spent at home together was just lovely. He was relaxed, very happy and very keen to do things with me. He willingly helped with chores round the house (I am not so daft as to imagine that will last) and devised his own timetable of work. He is so much more relaxed. He said he felt sick all the time at school. Now he doesn't. We get the work done in the morning, have lunch together and then enjoy free time in the afternoon.

He decided to follow the routine he is used to at school, so we always begin the day with him reading for 45 minutes. He loves this and it gives me time to get jobs done in the house. Then we do Maths together. I am terrible at Maths and worried about how I could possibly help him. Then I discovered BBC Bitesize and realised that we could do it together and that - surprise, surprise! - I am not as bad as I thought I was! It turns out I am learning too!

Then we do English (my subject, as I have a degree in it). We are concentrating on punctuation, as I am determined that no son of mine will not know grammar! But I have discovered great online games that DS enjoys, so it is fun for him.

After half term, he will choose a topic to study too. He wants to do fish and underwater sea creatures. That was news to me.

I have found other things that will be fun for us to do together: there is a 'grow your own food' event on in April, where we can get free compost and seeds and plant our own. DS loves gardening. We can learn all sorts whilst we do this together. I am actually quite excited by it. Usually, we don't have time to do things like this together.

We are saving up vouchers from Allinson's bread to get a free birdfeeder - again, this is fun, but it's educational too.

DH is taking DS on trips once a week, on his day off. They both love these trips. They are both learning together.

DH is really worried that our son won't be able to cope with secondary school, but I feel that it doesn't matter anymore. Of course, he must try it because he wants to go and it will open up all sorts of opportunities for him. But I now realise that there are other ways to learn and that, if secondary doesn't work out, he can be home educated and still achieve his goals.

We are not doing so well on physical exercise and socialising. DS doesn't want to see anyone of his age and my instinct tells me not to push him at the moment. He was bullied, so he feels let down. I think he needs time to recover. At the moment, he is very happy at home with us. He hates team games and group activities, so physical exercise will have to come from walks in the countryside. I'm trying to encourage him to go swimming again, as he used to enjoy this.

It is so lovely to be involved in his learning. When he was at school, I assumed that they did it all and he was so tired after school that I didn't dare suggest anything remotely educational at home.

Thank you to all of you who frequent these boards who reassured me that home education would work out fine. It really has done - so far! More than that, it is really fun.

Oh Toffee, what a wonderful post! I am delighted for you and your son. It is inspiring to hear that your home education has got off to such a good start and that your son is happy and relaxed.

It sounds like you are quite enjoying each other's company.

Fantastic news :)

That's great Toffee. HE has such a lot to offer. I really agonised over whether to do it or not and it has made such a difference to the quality of our family life. I'm so thankful we finally decided to do it. HE does have its ups and downs but honestly every day has little highlights, whether it's seeing my DD curled up in a chair totally gripped by a novel or watching my son read to his dog. Both of my DC really enjoy life rather than viewing Monday to Friday as something that has to be tolerated until they hit the weekend.

Hello to Saracen, Ommmward, TooJung (love that name!) and Wordsmith.

Wordsmith - it's lovely to hear how much you are enjoying HE. This evening DS and I talked about what we were doing this weekend and both realised at the same moment that neither of us had to dread this Monday. Usually, he would be worried about going back to school and I would be worried for him. Instead, we are both rather looking forward to starting home ed again after our half-term break .

That's lovely Toffee - life is short and childhood is even shorter - surely it's reasonable to want to actually enjoy it!

Oh toffee that's wonderful!
I'm a lurker here and have never posted. I think you are really brave. Do you have other DCs, I'm just wondering how you fit them into the equation if you do?

What a lovely post!

And it's nice to see that the head teacher is so supportive :)

Wordsmith - I agree!

Misfitless - it took me ages to decide to HE. Like Wordsmith, I agonised over it and kept trying to sort things out with DS at school. It seemed an enormous step to take him out. Then, one day, something clicked and I just knew it was the right thing to do. From that moment, I didn't feel afraid at all. My reasons were: DS was miserable and anxious every day at school and no amount of intervention was changing that; DS understood what was involved in HE and what he was leaving behind and remained steadfast in choosing HE - he even wrote me a list of his reasons, all of which made perfect sense; I work freelance at home, so I was available to HE; and by this time, I had spoken to lots of HEdders and was reassured by their positive experiences and advice. It helped that the head teacher was so supportive, although I had made the decision already by then.

I do have another son, who is five and in reception. He hasn't noticed that his brother is being home educated yet! (We all do the school run together as usual every morning and afternoon, and he hasn't commented on his brother's lack of school uniform). I don't want to tell him because he'll probably ask to be home educated too, even though he is enjoying school at the moment. That would not be good for my oldest son, who is enjoying his one-to-one time with me and finds it stressful to have his little brother at home all the time. I'm not sure if DS2 will remain unaware for the next five months though , so I might have to broach the subject with him at some time.

Freudian - it makes all the difference to have such a supportive head, as she has given me lots of advice. She said that all the children will be doing at the moment is revising for SATs anyway, so he is not actually missing any new work. If anything, he is learning more with me.

I am particularly looking forward to home educating when the weather changes. At the moment, we are stuck in the house for most of the time, but I have told DS that we can take a picnic out and do lessons outside when it gets warmer.

And it is absolutely lovely to spend time alone with my oldest son again, something we have not really had much time to do since my second son was born. I feel much more connected with him - something I lost when he was at school every day. I feel lucky to have this time with him.

Wordsmith - I love the image of your son reading to the family dog!! What could be better? I bet the dog loves it too.

Betelguese - that's a great idea. I hadn't thought of keeping a photographic record of DS's experience of home ed, but I'll do that. Thanks for your welcome too .