Deschooling..

[nipplesofthenorth]

Does this mean simply letting the child/ren do whatever they want? We took DS3 and DS4 out of school about 3 weeks ago and I'm feeling a bit confused. Do I try and encourage them to do something (reading/games etc) or do I go with the flow for a while? I'm finding it all quite stressful as part of me wants to let them lead and the other part of me feels rather scared about not doing anything in particular.

We've been to the library a few times where they have chosen what they want and they've used Education City a little. Should I pull back completely? DH and family seem to expect us to be doing lots too which isn't helping.

Think it's all compounded a bit as I'm feeling rather isolated. There are a few HE meet ups locally but some have a waiting list to join and others fall at times when we have other commitments and I admit I'm feeling rather lonely and this isn't helpful.

Any guidance would be very helpful.

There is no "right" way to do it. How old are your DC? I'd try to avoid worrying about the people who think you should be doing lots (easier said than done, I know). You could try listing the things that you have done over the last few days - you'll probably be surprised at how much exploring/learning they have done, even if you were not planning it.

If they need to destress from school but you'd like them to spend the time constructively, you could buy a cheap model (e.g. a cardboard Viking ship or cathedral) and do that together - you never know where it might lead. Get them involved in doing housework, cooking, etc. - very educational and if they are around all day, you do not want to end up being their servant.

If you've got family in another country or a holiday planned, would they be interested in trying to speak some of the language?

Do they have hobbies that have taken a back seat while they were at school?

There are all sorts of things you can do that do not look like school but are worthwhile.

If you'd like someone to chat to on the phone, please PM me and I'll send my phone number.

have you seen this article on deschooling?

I have heard it said, that a child deregistered from school needs a month for every year they were in school. So you can see however young your children are, 3 weeks is a very short time!
I also think it took us as parents longer to get the idea that sitting down and learning-being taught in a schooly way-is the only way of getting an education.
Reading one of Alan Thomas's books on How children learn at home may help.
As a quick answer there is an old article written by Alan on Informal Learning that may help your hubby to realise, that learning does happen, without doing formal work.

We took our three children out together just over ten years ago. Mixing with the home ed community locally helped enormously, but I think I would have got there in the end.

Casting around for you, I have just found another deschooling article that I think might be useful.

We declared ourselves on holiday from school-schools have a long break, so I reasoned we could too! We allowed the children to lead, as they would when we were on holiday from school. We asked them what they wanted to do, we allowed them to decide together whether there was a need to go out and do something, or stay at home and entertain themselves, with or without us-again as they had previously done in school holidays.

Sometimes we went out and other times they stayed in, sometimes we'd have a baking day, sometimes they would play all day in the garden.

But slowly it began to really dawn on dh and I that they were learning, through life. If they came shopping with us, we were doing maths, deciding on meal combinations etc.
If they were in front of the TV watching something intersting to them, we chatted (when they wanted to) and discovered what they had got from that. Quite often we have been gobsmacked, at what they have learned, without any formal instruction from us.
WE found that masses of our 'education' happened on car journeys, when we would sit and chat, on subjects that interested them. I remember discussing this with a school teacher friend, just after we had a car journey, where we had discussed the Iraq war, herpes and which colour 'Smartie', was their favourite and I realised, we had covered some Geography, Politics, Biology and some Chemistry (how they made the Smarties in different colours!) on one journey!

For me, reading Grace Llewellyn's Teenage Liberation Hand book :How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education really opened my eyes, and helped me on my way to understanding the freedoms home ed can bring.

You might find after a period of deschooling, your children may choose to have more structure to their education, or you nay choose to stay as we did, with a more informal style of education. Some families have a mixture of both. However you end up, the deschooling will help you and your family, find your HE feet.

hth a little? ask away, if you need more info

I would try and do a couple of "educational" trips out each week - so maybe a walk in the woods - noticing plants and animals, visit a museum, trip to the docks (if you live near any), visit local church and look at the architecture etc - anything really.

And try and encourage some reading every day, and maybe some discovery time on the computer - eg everything you can find out about Madagascar, or earwigs, or cornflakes - again anything really.

But don't push it and make it too schooly.

Hobbies - lego etc, digging in the garden cooking - all that sort of stuff is good.