Need a rant/support

[Scout19075]

ARGH!

Am fortunate that we have two supportive set of grandparents who are very pro-Home Ed. Most of my friends I've told that we're going to Home School have also been very supportive (only one has said "no, you can't do that" and I ignored her). But tonight "slipped" and said to someone (in a group I volunteer with and I've known this person for five years) "...and yet another reason why we're considering home schooling for a while." The reaction I received was not what I expected in the least. It was very much "you can't do THAT" and "how long are you going to do THAT" and "I would worry about the social side" and she proceeded to tell me that they had had some of "those" girls in the group and you could "spot them a mile off." I wasn't sure what she was getting at but I said something along the lines of "I know several families and the children and very knowledgeable and extremely social with both adults and peers." It was only when she heard and/or remembered that I am a certified teacher (abeit an American one) that she changed her tune.

WHY WHY WHY do people insist on saying I can't home educate?! Our son our decision. It was that reaction which reinforced why I never talk about schools/schooling/education with anyone but family and close friends. Does anyone have any whitty responses or some research or news or something that I can be armed with?

Thank you for letting me rant.

Seems like most people you know are supportive of you HE-ing. As with anything else you are not going to get everyone to agree with your choices. Some people don't understand and some don't want to. Do as you would do if someone disagreed with any other parenting choice you make. If you are happy with your choice just smile and say that you consider it the best way for your children. If they truly want to find out more direct them to some of the home-ed websites maybe?

You have to remember that the vast majority of people in the UK have never even heard of home education. Those who have heard of it mostly think of it as something weird that religious people in the US do to avoid their children ever hearing about evolution.

You might as well say "We're going to move to the moon" for all the knowledge or experience most people have of it.

And many people, faced with something they're totally ignorant of, will say "You can't possibly do that" as an automatic reaction, rather than "Gosh that sounds interesting, tell me about it"

It's up to you how often you can face trying to educate people about it, and how often you'd rather just not mention it to avoid having to put the effort in, with the risk of feeling like you're banging your head off a brick wall at times.

I was lucky that most people I told about it had a good reaction, just being interested in how it worked instead of saying "You can't", but I think some people meet a lot more blunt or sceptical people than I did!

Some people are aggressive about it I think because they see it a tacit comment on their own parenting choice.

IE school isn't good enough for my child (hence we HE) - but you are settling for second best by sending your kids to school.

They are being defensive of the perceived criticism. Even though there is most likely no criticism. Most of us are aware that what works really well for some is awful for others.

This was someone I've known for five years and honestly it just slipped out. I normally don't talk about it, either, because I figure it's a) none of people's business and b) some people go all funny on me since BabyScout is (only) 15 months. The first person who protested (who is also someone I've known for five years and is a good friend with last night's person) did it in a "nice" way so the reaction I got last night was very shocking/took me off guard. And both of those people are of my parents generation and, in fact, are several years older than my parents' (they have children around my age so look at BabyScout as an "adopted grandson") so well past the stage of "you're judging my choices." I did want to say "I've met more odd children when I was teaching and in groups like this than in the HE groups I've been going to" but I decided I didn't have the energy for a debate last night (migraine + almost 30 energentic 10-16 year olds = rough night for Scout).

I think I'll have to brush up on my "educating people on HE" spiel and continue to bite my tongue/keep our educational choices to myself. (Like I said, I normally do, I just can't believe it slipped out like that!)

Thanks everyone!

I think you just need to put up with it, annoying though it is!
I'm currently getting the "But he has to go to school SOME time!" from my mum about ds who reaches reception age this September. Uh, no.. he doesn't have to go to school...

People always say to me when I mention that we home school, "But Aren't you concerned about her socialisation?" I just reply "well yes, that's why we home school."

Hi Scout! How interesting that you are thinking about this. We are agonising about it at the moment - dd is already 4 and not in school. I lie awake at night. The local school seems lovely - I'd like to work there myself - but I just want her to have a good year or so more of spending the day in her tree house, speaking lots of French, playing with ponies and going to the museum on weekday afternoons, not doing phonics in a uniform. The whole thing makes me very unhappy.

mummyloveslucy, I LOVE that -- can I use it?

Yes, of corse you can.