HE at secondary level -social activities?

[siblingrivalry]

Hi -sorry for the long post, there's a lot of ground to cover!

DD1 has Asperger's and I have HE'd her in the past, due to a truly terrible school experience. It went really well and dd blossomed.
However, she requested returning to school (very long story, to do with her feeling too 'different' from her old peers).In the end, we had to let her try it -it was something she really wanted at the time.

We managed to find a wonderful school -like hen's teeth, I know- which is very small and has caring, supportive staff.

However, she is 10 now and in September we have to put forward our choices for secondary school.
The only good school I would even consider is horrendously over-subscribed and we don't meet the admission criteria. Plus, I know that realistically, the demands of secondary will not be at all compatible with dd's complex needs.

She said tonight that she would like to be HEdded at secondary level and that she no longer cares what her peers think (hurrah!)

I am really pleased, because it has been something that has weighed heavily on my mind for months, but I refused to sway her either way.

My only concern is that her Asperger's means that she struggles socially, but it is an area that we have to work on to a degree, within the perameters (sp?) of her own capabilities.

So can I ask what your dc do for social activities at secondary level? We have tried Brownies etc, but it wasn't for her (too much enforced group work etc). She also has dyspraxia, so is reluctant to do gym classes etc.

If I could get some ideas formulated in this area, I feel like I would be able to rest easier.
Many thanks in advance

How about dancing? DS1 (13) may well be dyspraxic (1st appointment next week towards a diagnosis, hopefully) and I am sure his coordination would have been significantly worse if he had not danced. He has been doing ballet since he was 3 and ballroom/latin since he was 7. He used to do tap as well but really struggled with that.

We also go to a home ed book club (3-4 other families) and I teach French/Spanish to my 3 DCs alongside 2 other families (8 children in total). In addition to that he does Scouts and various church activities including a music group. We also have an indoor climbing wall nearby which runs sessions for children/teenagers and there are various art/craft classes at the local Arts Centre.

I think it's down to the style of the particular group leader more than which activity it is. Most activities can be highly structured or not, according to how they are set up. Your dd might have thrived at a different Brownies group, for example. My 11yo has made lots of friends at one of her choirs, and barely knows anyone's name after three years at another choir. She socialises at hockey but not at football. We visited one gymnastics class which was conducted in silence, and then chose a different one where the children chatted nonstop.

Have a look at what's on offer locally and visit anything that might take your daughter's fancy. You may be able to tell immediately whether it's an environment that will benefit her socially.

Besides looking out for something which has the right amount of structure, group work and opportunities to chat, you might consider activities with a wide range of ages. There is less emphasis on conformity in such a setting, so your daughter might find it more comfortable and accepting. My dd's favourite new activity has been the advisory group for the local youth theatre. Committee members are aged 10-25. The group is led by a very dynamic 16-year-old. I still have only a very vague idea of what they actually do there aside from eating pizza!

Thanks for the posts, I appreciate it

She's been to dancing in the past, for a few years actually, but gave it up when they started doing graded exams (too stressful).

I think it's worth looking into different groups, I agree, to see if there's one she is more suited too.

She would love the book club, she's a prolific reader, so that's a good idea.

It may all be proceeding quicker than planned, if her reaction to going to school today is anything to go by .

Our library runs a book club and a writing club too. It might be worth asking at your own library as they may know of all sorts of activities which may be good.

Oh, if she loves reading then you may want to make a note for the future about the Kids' Lit Quiz. I posted about it here: otherwiseinclined.prophpbb.com/topic202.html . The practices proved to be a good social opportunity for the kids, who spent a lot of time chatting about books. I sort of wish we'd started earlier with more practices, but maybe we would have lost steam if we had... I don't know.

Anyway, the whole experience was brilliant and I'm glad my dd has another two years of eligibility!

Getting a bit off-topic, but does your dd enjoy spelling? Here's a competition she might like www.worldspellingday.com/

If it's anything like World Maths Day - which I think is organised by the same people - it should be good fun for those who like live online competitions.

Thanks Saracen -she loved all elements of literacy, including spelling -I will have a look at the links. Much appreciated.

Great. Then here's another site she might like: www.timesspellingbee.co.uk/ . I have been known to play compulsively late into the night.

There's a link at the bottom of that page to a schools spelling competition. I seem to remember that some home educators tried to get the Times to allow HE children to participate last year and that they steadfastly refused. That's a bit unusual in my experience. The organisers of most "schools" events and competitions may initially say that HE children can't join in, but it's usually because they haven't realised there is a demand and haven't bothered to put any thought into how it could work practically. They usually relent when faced with eager HE families who are willing to do some of the organisation.