Statementing and HE

[dammitjannette]

I have two boys - DS1 is 7 and has Aspergers.

He finds the pressure of school very hard physically and mentally and, although there are good periods, he starts to tire after a couple of month and just needs time off.

At the moment, despite just having had a two week half term, he is clearly exhausted, emotional and bad-tempered.

I saw him in his class last week, during an open maths lesson, and he was lolling around, chewing his laces and on another planet. He has a sensory processing disorder and hypermobility too. He also lashed out at a child at playtime.

A stat assessment as just been completed and we are awaiting a decision. In the meantime, is head seems to think it's acceptable to offer no provision or support as 'he seems ok in school' - the floppy behaviour being a one-off.

I have had to chase provision every step of the way and the head has made it clear that eher priority is applying resources for academic purposes e.g. catch up numeracy/literacy so she doesn't think DS needs extra help. This is despite his diagnosis and all the reports.

I am tiring of this so badly. it's taken over my life and all the fun has gone out of our family. DS2 as just started at this school and seems less than thrilled.

I could HE for a while at least while we all get our heads straight.

I wanted to ask:

1. Do you think it is possible to HE short term or is it difficult to get the kids back in the system?

1. What effect would it have on the statementing process if I pulled DS out of school?

Thanks

hi,
You can home ed and request for a statutory assessment for your son by yourself. If you have a clear diagnosis and therapists reports this will all help.

Would your plan be only to home ed for a while, hoping that a statement could then be sorted and things put in place for when he returns to school? or are you thinking of giving home ed a real try and if it doesnt work out you can reintergrate him into school.

Maybe flexi school would be an option for him, if he tires easily, but you still feel he gains from being in a school environment? he could then do half days or so many days a week.

Thanks. I suppose I have lost faith in school so I was thinking of moving schools possibly at some point but wondered whether it was worth HE for now.

I think that I need to decide whether part-time schooling would be the answer for him or whether I have to face the fact that bschool (and more particularly this school) is unlikely to work for him.

We saw an independent EP last week and she thought he would struggle anywhere in mainstream unless he had very small class sizes. He has 35 in his class at present.

He just looks so tired at the moment and is so stressed.

I have asked the head about allowing him out occasionally if he looks tired/stressed and she agreed. Would a move to a more formal arrangement have to be made by agreement with the school? Would the EWO need to be involved? How are schools with this sort of arrangement?

tricky one, as the head doesnt seem to currently acknowledge he has any problem at school by reading from you first post. Do you trust that they would ring you when he appears to have had enough? probably not!

It took me a month of tossing and turning and watching my son go from a happy little boy to a stressed out little boy, who wouldnt let us in the same room as him, couldnt sleep, cried all the time (has aspergers also)before we finally pulled the plug on school.

The head master told me the most ridiculous things, he said my son will never be able to socialise, he will never be able to take his driving test, he will run away from everything he is afraid of. All really unhelpful things to be told when you are trying to make a decision about whats best for your own child!

In the end, his comments helped me decide!and said thats enough!

I now have a happy child, and guess what he can talk to people! when he wants to when he is ready, unstead of at school where they were trying to force friendships.

Maybe see what help they offer him over the next week to see if they do anything any different and whether you son seems happier?

We are going through the same thing although my daughter's at a private school and they won't recognise a problem and certainly won't support a statement as that'd mean she couldn't stay at the school.
She'll be comming out at christmas and we'll be home edding her and we'll try to get a statment. That way if the home edding dosn't work out, she'll have a statment and will be given priority to a school of our choice. well, that's the plan anyway. It's hard enogh to get a statment without having to fight against the school as well.

My daughter says she hates school, she's in year 1 but she behaves a lot better there.
At home she's very hard work, so i'm not sure how long we'll last with home ed.

@mummyloveslucy You may find once you take the pressure of school away from your daughter that her traits reduce! It has certainly made a difference with my son. it took 3 weeks from when he left school and he had only been there 3 months, so give yourself some time for both of you to adjust!
good luck!

We withdrew our 6 year old from school, as we had gone through all the stress of getting a full SEN - 30 hours provision, only for the school to ignore it. They singled him out for comparision with able children, left him to muddle along,until we had grounds for Disability Discrimination. We stopped school as of July this year. He is already under the EDS team at GOSH, and we now have not only his disability, but also Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after what his school put him through. He was classed as pre school in his ability in his last school report. He should have had O.T. but they made it impossible as they refused to buy the equipment needed. We have Home Educated since September. He is a different child now. He copes where before we would have had tantrums and meltdown. He is now able to write every letter of the alphabet, he is reading, is mastering maths, loves history, and is switched back onto education. There is a fantastic site for free worksheet downloads called SEN teacher, we have made good use of this.
It has been tough, and other peoples reactions have been varied, many thinking that I am breaking the law. My son has progressed more in these few months than he ever did at school. I have been told his SEN will remain, but we are unable to access any OT other than traveling to GOSH to see his consultants.
The system is dreadful, but this has been the best thing I have ever done. To see that he is able [as we always said he was], has been wonderful, although the journey was heartbreaking.