home ed- right for us or not?

[Donnavito]

oooops illnesses!!!

Too much coffee me thinks of the above. What I was supposed to say is: I am HEing 4 kids as of sept 2010 and I am worried If i have done the right thing?? I am considering putting them back on a flexi school basis. Does anyone else have any thoughts on this? I just don,t know what to do, we have good days and bad days, I just dont want to get a few years down the line and realise that I effed up and failed the most important little creatures that I will ever have the pleasure of calling my children.OH crap, did anyone else freak out after de registering? Did any put theres back in school cos it didnt work? Does anyone flexi school? BTW My kids are 11,8,6 and 5 and 3 of them have a serious illness. sorry about all the questions and my freaking out. any responses would be greatly appreciated.xxx

Everybody freaks out. All of the societal expectations are that we put our children's education into the hands of experts, and you just transgressed that somewhat majorly. :)

First: you need to deschool. Rough rule of thumb: it takes a person about a month to recover from every year they spent in school. I'd take it from the 11 year old. So you need to wait until sometime after EASTER before you even think about sitting down and pushing anything explicitly educational.

This is because something school is very good at teaching children is that someone else needs to be in charge of their learning, and in charge of planning what they should be doing next.

You also need to deschool, and you spent considerably more than 7 years in the system... I recommend that you spend the coming months just enjoying spending lots of time with your children, helping them to enjoy each other as well. And you need to do some reading. Look for the books on HE thread for inspiration. I'll bump it for you.

And sibling rivalry is always less acute in the open air. Just sayin' :o

ommmward, thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I am so scared of effing up-de schooling scares me as it feels like I am letting them run wild and all that. I suppose I feel a bit like I am going against the grain IYSWIM. Thanks for your response.x

You have a LOT of time. Years and years. Even if you "waste" a year - and personally I don't think children are wasting their time if they aren't learning formally, they are just learning in a different way - but even if the current year were a total write-off educationally, it would be no disaster. The clock is not ticking as it would be at school, where the curriculum marches on relentlessly and children who don't learn what they are "supposed" to learn this year will be "behind" next year.

Home education tends to be far more efficient than school. Most families find that even if they do formal learning, an hour a day is plenty. That means that you can afford to declare a long holiday right now.

My analogy is this. Suppose you set out to go from Land's End to John O'Groats and you had five years in which to do it. You wouldn't need to drive yourselves hard. It's a long way, but there's no hurry. It wouldn't matter if you only went a mile or two a day at first. It wouldn't even matter if you decided to stop off somewhere for a while. What matters is enjoying the journey. You have all the time in the world.

Enjoy your children and relax. All of you need to get used to spending so much time together in the long run. Often that takes a while. Visit some other HE families for inspiration. I am sure that they will tell you that while their children aren't angels, they get along much better after a while out of school.

If you do continue to be anxious about your children's progress, what about promising yourself that you will give HE a good try - maybe for a year? - and then assess whether to continue. Parents of schoolchildren aren't thinking of pulling them out of school after just a few weeks, simply because they don't seem to be learning much yet. Why be harder on yourself than you would be on your children's school?

BTW, I think flexi-schooling might be more trouble than it is worth, especially in your case. You would be tied to school timetables. You would still have to get three children to and from school whenever one was too ill to attend. From my very limited experience of school, hauling an ill child out on the school run is a horrible prospect.

I have 4 kids too and feel exactly the same as you,Donnavito. The responsibility feels overwhelming and as such I haven't taken the plunge. I know deep down I really want to, every morning when I wake them for school and every afternoon when I have to force them to do homework,I am screaming inside, no more.

There is some really comforting advice on here,
I need to do some reading too,but cant bring myself to do it and I dont know why.

Saracen, thank you. I guess I am just gutless and need to grow a pair!I miss school but most of the kids don't really. One keeps talking of his friends as though he is going to go back and my eldest(with cf) wants to go to secondary next year. This makes me worry about getting him to a certain standard for that. AAAAAGGGGHHHH! wish I knew what to do. ILOVEPONIES- it sucks doesn't it! What are your reasons for wanting to HE and what age are your kids?

My kids are 11,10,7 and 6.

It all started with my son 10, being found to have ADHD and a pescription for Ritalin. I just felt there must be another way for him. Then I came on here and realised that home ed isn't just school at home,it's a whole new philosophy.

I think once yoy are introduced to these new ideas you never see school in the same way again, I have started to see it as detrimental to my kids actually, I think that's why I dont want to read any more books, because it upsets me. I cant get my kids out of school until maybe February when we return to England. We are in Switzerland and they don't go in for Home ed here. I still worry that I am not up to it though, I guess that is natural.

I am also dreading telling my family, I think they will want me to justify it, they are quite old school, to them life is a vale of tears and better to learn that sooner rather then later.

I think the advice to sit back and take stock is good here. Why did you opt for homeschool?

ILOVEPONIES; my reasons were because my eldest has cystic fibrosis and i also have 2 with insulin dependant diabetes. It was mostly a safety issue and at the time it was the only solution. I feel now that I am just worried about it, maybe for nothing?? I am playing with the idea of flexi schooling but it may just be best to do one or the other.I hope you find the solution to this. It looks like hindsight will be the teller- wish I had a crystal ball!!! I was worried about telling my family but they were ok(except my aunt, who is a head teacher) hopefully when they see it is having a positive effect on your kids they will be ok about it. i usually find that the more people who oppose it the more I want to do it !! hugs to you.x carly

Thankyou Donnavito,
I needed that hug today, have one back.
I hope you find something that works out too.

I am guessing that your eldest wants to go back to school because he doesn't want to be different to the other kids and his friends, is that right?

we have been hE since Easter with DS1 (9) and since September with D2&3 (7). To be honest I think flexi schooling would be the worst combination - tied to a timetable and a curriculum - and having to structure the rest of your time to keep them up to speed with the curriculum when you are at home.

I think the deschooling this is interesting - my youngest two are still going through it - DS1 is much better at getting on with things on his own.

And don't underestimate how much they learn from just doing stuff and visiting places. Also have you tried keeping an eye on channel 4 - lots of great documentaries - aimed at adults but really useful for kids too - mine are enjoying the Normans series and Coast. I have loads of others recorded for future - everything from history of Christianity, science and islam, history of chemistry and lots more.

Watching those for up to a couple of hours a day is a great way of learning about the world. Especially the ones written and presented by a specialist.

that should be BBC 4 rather than channel 4.

ILOVEPONIES; you are most welcome and thanks for mine. I think most of the worrying is down to me and my son just wants to go to this particular school as he always has. He is definately seeing a decline in school friends which might be why he wants to go there. xx
THROCKENHOLT; thanks for wise words, I am beginning to realise that flexi schooling would not work for us and we need to choose one or the other. If I leave it too long they will miss out if I send them back. I thought maybe it would be better to go back and try school and if it doesn't work out, thats it.Home school would then be our decision and I wouldnt change that. I don't want them going in and out. Because of where we live in a little village and other family issues there is a large possibility of isolation and this worries me. Oh what to do!! More sleepless nights me thinks! (confused)

Donnavito, I understand where you are coming from but I'd suggest that you give the EHE a shot. You say that you have been doing it only this month, so that means "two weeks"? Most schools spend Y6 doing practice for SATS, so it can be a waste of time and v boring. You can still apply for secondary for next Sept and then see if you and DS still want to use the school place. Y7 often starts with recapping Y6, so that the school knows where all the kids are at, so he is unlikely to miss stuff. And if he is going back in, you could spend a couple of months next summer doing Y6 maths workbooks, for example - nothing else will be much of an issue.

As well as reading and anything else you enjoy doing as a hobby, I'd suggest that you concentrate on learning to live together again - cooking, cleaning, etc. Trips, board games, craft, music. There is loads to do without school-type learning.

Thank you sdeuchers. I wish I could let go and just relax. A huge part of me wants to to EHE but I dont know.I will be talking it over later. He told me today that he misses his friends.The only trouble is he would have been off this last 2 weeks due to ill health anyway(cystic fibrosis).Dont want him to miss his friends.

can i ask what was the main reson you took your children out of school? i am he ing my 15 yr old as well as studying to be a primary teacher. i have worked in a primary school for 10 years as a ta. i have just had my eyes opened by a lecture at uni around forest schools, BRILLANT idea, just wish my kids were younger, would have probably taken them all out of school to teach like this.

iloveponies have you read this? his whole blog is pretty good.