Home edding 1 year now....what next?

[shemall]

Hi,

I have been home edding my 7 yr old daughter for one year. (she went to school for 2 yrs)
We only kept in contact with 2 of her school friends and feel that she doesnt have much in common with them anymore, even though she doesnt quite see this herself. Both their mums were good friends too,I say where as those friendships have also slowly disintegreted.
We have been to lots of home education groups etc but she finds it all very boring, and has not made ANY close friends.
Im getting really worried bout her,
Has anyone else had this experience? and what is the solution?

S,Cambridge,uk!

I don't know. Have you put a lot of effort into ensuring she sees these girls from school often? I mean - inviting them to sleep-overs on Friday, playing at your house on Saturday. That's a big block of time and if it happens often, you'll keep the friendship momentum. Plus an extra-curricular activity they do together - brownies (lots of chat time) or sport (less time to chat but still ok)

If they just meet up occasionally, I think they will slide apart IYSWIM.

I can quite understand that you might not feel like doing all that btw

Well if it's you saying she's nothing in common with then 'but she dorsnt see it herself' then I'd carry on with those friendships
also what about brownies or some other sports club she might make friends at?

how do these home ed groups work? Different people every time you go? Same group but just meeting for an hour or so once a week?

INE (such as it is with just 1 dc), you need to see other dc more than just once a week for an hour to build up a friendship IYSWIM

Last school year we done arts and crafts, maths and science & swimming with other kids.

She cant see them that much, one set of parents dont let their daughter socilaise during the week due to the amount of activities she does, the others parents are always busy busy weekends.

Did I mention we also had new baby last year.zzzzzzzz

We have planned violin lessons this school year, something which she has always wanted to do.:)

Also, does anyone know why deschoolers dont mix with the kids who have never been schooled? I've never met one other person who has deschooled.:(

S.x

When I first took my DD2 out, three years ago, I think we were very in the minority as deschoolers. Now there are loads! Maybe you need to cast your net a bit wider. Is there only one home ed group in your area? Or are there other things going on you haven't yet investigated?

My girls have never found any problem with either keeping up friendships with their school friends, or with friendships with children who have never been to school, but it does take effort, I'm afraid. I quite understand why with a new baby, you haven't had time to run here there and everywhere and you may just need to accept that that's how things are right now, but decide to make a big effort later on.

I know what you mean in a way about children who have never been to school as a couple of parents were a bit sniffy with us at first. One actually said to me she didn't like her child being friends with children who had come out of school because they invariably have so many problems and issues! But the good news is, that the further we've got from school, the less of a divide we feel from anyone. Home edders have forgotten we ever went to school(if it was ever an issue for them) and schooled kids have accepted our lifestyle.

I think the main thing, when all is said and done, is how does your daughter feel about it? If she is happy as she is then I don't think you should worry at all. If she feels the lack of friends, then maybe time to pull out all the stops for her.

Thanks Musicposy, yes bit difficult with baby at times, especially with sleepless nights.

One other thing is people wait on me to contact them even though Ive said I wanted to keep in touch and our problems were not with the school. If they are true friends surely it would be 50/50.

:(

their kids are in regular contact at school so events/occasions come up withoutthe parents having to do much organisation. I think you will find that yes, it is up to you to do most of the running if you want to keep those particular friendships up unfortunately.