Send DS to nursery?

[chocolatestar]

My DS will be three in October so can have free nursery care from Jan. At the moment I am teaching full time and DS stays with my aunt. After a year of being in a school however I know that it is not the place that I want to be and I certainly don't want DS to be there. I am pregnant at the moment so I am going to do the next year at school, will be on maternity from Jan and then depending on whether my DH has a job or not I hope to either stop work or go part time with DH taking DS when I am working.

I am not sure about sending DS to nursery. I don't know much about it. Is it as heavily structured as school? He loves to play with other children so if it is like that he would probably like it and also I will have just had a baby and it might be quite useful. Or will it just make things harder later? Is it better to not register with anything anywhere so as to try and avoid authority hassle? (I am in Scotland btw).

I am very new to all this having only just discussed with DH my desire to home educate and step back from school myself.

Nursery (when DS went anyway) is mainly play but nothing you can't do at home. You can always put the baby in it's pram and go to the park to see other children. You know your child best but I would be wary of sending them to nursery if you are sure about home ed as they will get used to the format, and you may end up torn between your feelings on school and you child's feelings if their friends all go on to school.
Personaly if I have another child I wouldn't send them to nursery unless it was needed for work purposes, even if I intended to send them to school. I see it as a way of getting them used to the way school works but it is all too early IMHO

Having said that I am trying for number 2 and considering taking DS out of school at the end of term. I have given a lot of thought to the new to home ed plus new baby issues and I do worry I will have too much on my plate, so I get where you are coming from

why don't you want him to go to school? I guess something about the school you were teaching in put you off?

I'm very pro HE BTW, and actually we were going to HE our DD. but we sent her to preschool as she was desperate to go, and she's really thriving so we've decided to see how 'big school' goes in 2011.

her preschool isn't very structured, they have a lot of free play but there are optional activities too. DD spends more time outside than she ever could with me and baby DS!

I think it really depends on the specific preschool, they vary so much. I reckon it'd be a good idea to have a look round all your local ones and then see how you feel. they should let you have a tour while it's all in full swing so you can get a good look.

When you have your new baby, it's very difficult to say what will be best for your oldest. Some older siblings find nursery very stressful as it seems to them that they're being pushed out to make room for the baby. Others welcome the chance to be away from their sibling. You may have to play it by ear, when the time comes, or muddle along at home altogether! none of mine have ever been to any playgroup or nursery and they've all survived!

I've been thinking about HE for a while but then started to think it wasn't practical partly because I don't think that I have the skills to do it and because I got a full time job. I am in secondary school but I just hated the way I saw kids deadened to learning there. I feel deadened to it, I am not the teacher I was when I started because I fell so worn down by the school itself. Over the course of the last year I saw some of the pupils I teach who came from Primary become so low, like they were depressed or something. By the end of the first year really nice kids had turned into horrors because they were in classes full of difficult children and did not know what else to do. Lots of bullying and unpleasantness. I just find the whole thing depressing.

My son is confident and interested in the world, I don't trust the school enviroment with him. Of course the time may come and I will not have the nerve to do it who knows but I hope I do as it feels like the right thing, at least to start with.

I hadn't thought about him feeling pushed away by going to nursery. Good point.

We HE, DS1 went to nursery. Sometimes he enjoyed it, sometimes he didn't. He didn't want to go every day as that was too boring. He still talks affectionately about some of the games and songs they did there and he still sees a couple of friends from nursery. It did make it a bit harder HEing for a few weeks only, as he was being prepared to start reception and he thought that's what he should be doing. After meeting other HE children and realising that you have to go to school morning and afternoon, however, he was happy to be HE. My younger 2 haven't been to nursery. They go to HE groups and play with friends there. I think they are absolutely fine without nursery,
very social and confident. On the other hand, if you found a very play based nursery and it suited you and your son I don't think it would damage your long term plans to HE.

DS2 was in nursery while DS1 was flexi-schooling. Then we took both out to full-time home educate at the end of year 1 for DS1/end of nursery for DS2.

DD then went to nursery to give me some time to work with the boys as we are quite structured. She didn't like going for the first week or so but then settled well and enjoyed going. I think she gained confidence doing things away from me and had lots of fun while she was there.

When it was time to move on, she 'swithered' between HE and school on a daily basis, so I made the decision for her to HE. Apart from one wobble last October, she has been very happy to be at home with the boys. She is now 8.

So I found nursery really useful to keep her amused while I worked with the boys. The only downside for us was the emphasis on phonics/reading towards the end, which she simply wasn't ready for and the fact that they gave her homework - which we didn't do as she got upset doing it. But that really was only the last term.

It's a resource available - no harm in using it; no harm in not using it.