Help needed: I live in cluttered messy, badly decorated, scruffy home

[Turdissimo]

I’ve been browsing this topic for inspiration for improving my home and am in awe of the lovely homes everyone has. How on earth do you manage it?

I feel very down, as per the thread title, my home is cluttered, old fashioned, messy and scruffy.

I don’t have a huge amount of funds to spend and share it with a family member (not partner) so don’t even have access to their areas. However the communal area kitchen diner and hallway / stairs I want to improve as it’s getting me down.

I painted the 1990s kitchen a while ago but still hate the style. I’ve been quoted £8k even for a budget replacement and don’t have funds to justify that (it’s a large room).

Is it possible to get just worktops replaced?

If you get new carpet where do you put all the furniture that is in that room (no room in any other rooms?!))

Sorting the clutter may be a good start.

Have a huge sort out. Charity shop and tip runs.

Then pick one room and start with that. Maybe your bedroom? The kitchen is a major one/ expensive one so I would start smaller if you don’t have the funds for it.

My house is cluttered as we are overcrowded so I continually sort things and get rid of what doesn’t fit/ we no longer like etc. It does look nicer when there is less stuff.

Maybe share some photos.

Painting units / walls yourself; changing door handles on units / changing the work surface etc are all cheaper than a new kitchen.

Agree with PP. Start decluttering. Pick your most cluttered area first and start throwing away/donating everything not used in 6 months.

To make it easier separate into 'throw away now' and 'maybe' and review the 'maybe' in a month or so. Be brutal - you'll thank yourself.

Sorting clutter a good starting point, possibly your bedroom then you can see properly what needs doing ie; walls/ceiling decorated maybe some new bedding/lamps/throws/cushions/artwork etc if furniture is in good condition you could upcyle some it to refresh it.
worktops can easily be replaced possibly renew tiles.
carpet shops usually offer at extra cost to move furniture across the room & put back if you don’t have space to move furniture into another room (empty the wardrobe & take out drawers) which makes it quicker for the carpet fitters.
once one room is sorted move onto the next, having one room complete will spur you on to do the rest, good luck OP.

Agree that there are cheaper fixes than replacing the entire kitchen with brand new.

When we downsized to our cottage in Sept '24 we were faced with a mid 1960s wooden kitchen that I think was built in situ. As a quick glow up I painted the units and changed the handles (we bought Corston brass ones that we planned to reuse when the kitchen was redone properly 😉). That was a vast improvement for less than £200.

Since then we decided to relocate the kitchen and were able to salvage some of the old drawers as these were actually so well built. But to save money overall (we've taken on a massive project with a fairly small budget), I sourced the rest of the kitchen cabinetry on eBay, second hand. Iirc we've spent less than £500 on units - in-frame ones which we've bought new before and aren't cheap - as well as picking up a bargain Belfast sink that was a fraction of the retail price as it's a second.

I am utterly embarrassed to share photos..

I am certainly overcrowded and need to get rid of a lot of stuff.

Do charity shops take used kitchen pots / pans in good condition?

I'm sorry to say that you will need to ruthlessly declutter first. Divide stuff into rubbish, donate and keep. Don't ponder on each item and allow a set time to do it. When you have done that you will find it easier to paint etc. It will be essential to have the room empty to lay a new carpet so the less stuff the better.
In respect of the kitchen you can easily replace doors yourself although drawer fronts are a bit more difficult. But if the carcasses are sound you can just get the worktops replaced. And a new sink often improves the look. I'd suggest that you look for ex display units too as they are often much cheaper.

Yes you can just get worktops replaced. Or I had something done a few years ago which was a worktop that fitted over our existing ones (it was a new kitchen but there was some damage).

Worktops can be replaced, cupboard doors and drawer fronts can be replaced if you are happy with your current kitchen layout, new knobs and handles can be added to current units.

Depending on foot fall outside your house we always put stuff at the end of our front garden/drive with ‘free to a good home’ (obviously when it’s not raining/snowing) and it always all goes. Some of it is absolute junk but you know what they say.

I went on a massive cull a couple of years ago and now rarely bother buying anything new. My motto is ‘if I didn’t already own it, would I go out my way to replace it?’

You’ll be surprised what decluttering and giving the place a good scrub does.

I had new worktops and replaced the sink and taps in a property rental. It looks amazing and just elevated the whole kitchen. The cupboards and drawers were still in great condition after 25 years!

First, declutter everything. Be absolutely ruthless.
Second, clean until you could eat your dinner off the surfaces. Then you can see what you have to work with.
I had a 1990s council house kitchen and very little money. I changed the knobs on the doors, painted the doors with Rustoleum paint, used tile stickers on the tiles, painted the walls, pipes, ducting, everything, a plain colour to make the ugly bits 'disappear'. Paint will do a lot of the heavy lifting to disguise what you don't like!
It is possible to get worktops replaced, or cover them with stick on coverings as a temporary measure. If the kitchen carcasses are decent, you can also just have the doors replaced.
On the subject of carpets, speak to your carpet fitter before he arrives. Many will want furniture removed from a room. Some will be able to work with things moved to one end while they fit at the other.

This may not be relevant to you.

Start noticing each and everytime something ‘bothers’ you. Is it visual and aesthetic (untidy, not visually pleasing), or practical like tripping over stuff, or doors not closing. Work out what bugs you most. Then you can redirect your restricted time and money to what will really give you the most bang for your bucks.

For me is mostly visual, so declutterring (as suggested), plus if you do decide on new carpet/worktop - declutterring generally will make everything easier. i also like to create little visual oases of calm in a place my eye often falls on, just to give me motivation while I tackle the more difficult stuff.

They do take them, I've seen them in there.

I pass pots and pans in decent condition onto a local homeless charity who use them in their shelters' kitchens.

Anglo doorstep collections will come and take away all sorts: pots and pans, books, dvds, clothes, even half used toiletries.

https://anglodoorstepcollections.co.uk/

Don’t be embarrassed remember this is anonymous! We won’t judge you, I have the same plan of action this year too literally my house is so cluttered! I started on my sons room yesterday.. two black bin bags full of crap as he decided to shove rubbish behind his bed and I only discovered it yesterday
haven’t even got to the decluttering bit yet. 😂

Yes they do. I have several charity shops by me who take that kind of thing.

Im very hoarder ish OP but had to declutter to put our house up for sale. Most things we thought we'd use else where went in the garage.
I've painted kitchens and had new work tops. I like a big free standing larder so if you have the space think about buying one of those off marketplace. Its easier to see your groceries.
I do recommend doing one thing a day, a drawer or a cupboard or even putting out of season clothes in vac u bags. I hate tidying so i have a cleaner. Good luck.

My local charity shops won't refuse anything but if they can't sell it have to pay to dispose, so I always think would I buy this from a charity shop?

Do you have Olio or Freecycle in your area? People who want the stuff will collect from you - I prefer Olio as you rate interactions so can help other people avoid the time-wasters who don't turn up.

Could you put a big rug in the living room as a temporary solution to cover the carpet without moving the furniture? I would try to have one room without clutter, living room is usually the easiest. Remove anything extra and always try and have and everything in its place before you go to bed(eg cushions straightened, floor vacuumed in that room), it feels so good to come down to clean room in the morning.

Does your local park have a mud kitchen? That’s a good way to give one last life to pans you no longer want.

I know it’s old-hat now but I found Marie Kondo’s first book incredibly helpful with clutter, both on a practical and emotional level.