Exterior Front of house renovation with aggressive neighbour

[deesdeli]

I am posting this as I would like to get a fresh perspective on my situation as I am unsure how to handle this.

I am living in a converted flat in a house where I own half of the freehold along with the neighbour. She would like to get the exterior of the house renovated as it is looking a little worn.

It started off with replacing a brick wall and vent under the door but has now become a full blown grand design! She would like to replace a wall, remove a porch, repave the whole front, paint the whole building and install a gate.

She has been controlling, rude and aggressive to me in the past so I have started plans to sell and move (unknown to her of course), however financially it will take me some time to be able to do so.
Her boyfriend is a builder and she asked if we could use him for the job.
He has also been very rude to me in the past which I have ignored.

As this renovation was not planned I have said to her that my decisions will be based on cost - I hadnt planned for this at all and like most I am trying to be frugal during these times.

I am not happy about doing this renovation esp if I want to sell and I certainly do not want to use her boyfriend as I feel it would be unfair as she would prob not have to pay him - those are my thoughts.

She has started to look into designs and gather quotes and I know she will reject any of the builders I find as she has done this in the past and we have always used ones that she has sourced. I know her boyfriend will under cut any of the quotes we collect so he can do the job.

How should I let her know that I do not want to use her boyfriend for this work without causing offensive? I really do not want aggravation esp if I have to stay her for a bit longer.

Any thoughts would be welcome!
Thank you

I'd just say you can't afford to do anything at the moment.
All the work seems to be aesthetic rather than necessary repairs so it can wait.

Just say no. Tell her you agree to the original plan of replacing a wall and the vent under the door which sounds as if it needs doing but you’d like to get your own quotes.

Is he any good? Have you googled his work? I’d base my decision on using him on that. He is also more inclined to do thr work well if it’s for his girlfriend.

If you are going to move you probably won't want to spend any money.

Just keep delaying things and don't agree. Just say you need time to save up for example

just be clear that you aren’t interested in any further changes to the property, just what was initially discussed.

For fairness, it’s best to get multiple quotes from multiple builders any way - the cheapest isn’t necessarily the best and the fee should be in line with the industry standard. If he decides to charge £100 for it as an example, the cost should be shared between you both. Not you pay the £100 because he’s giving her mate’s rates or something unequal.

As a freeholder you cannot expect betterment for service charge repairs and maintenance. She would have no legal claim to make you pay half for any renovations unless they were repairs to whatever was there already.

You can say to her, do what you want but you are not paying for it and she can go ahead and do the work herself. Or you could refuse her to do the work (depending on what your leasehold and freehold responsibilities are) and she won't be able to do anything.

First off check your lease as this should state if either of you can refuse. Then decide what you want with regards to the work.

If you are planning on moving, I wouldn’t agree to the extended works, unless you think you’d get a good return on the cost of it all when you come to sell.

I’d make sure she knows you don’t agree to the work in case she has it done and then bills you. Sounds a nasty aggressive type who wants to get her own way.

Thank you all for the advice.
It is reassuring to know that I am not over thinking this!
@RosaCaramella you are spot on - it is either her way or the highway!

I think I will go ahead with the works as it will help to sell my place however I will be monitoring the cost of the products she wants - so far she has picked premium for everything!

Another qst - has anyone renovated the front of their house?
She wants to purchase all of the products like paving stones and bricks through a contractor? I am not sure why as I am sure they would charge more for this and I cant see why we cant source and buy ourselves?

Ok so since this post my neighbour has now said she wants to buy all the building materials from the builder she has chosen - am I right in thinking that they would charge a mark up on this?

I am livid esp since I am giving into her about this anyway.
I want to say to her that I am happy to pay for the labour and cost of materials but not their mark up

What would everyone else do??
Really stuck here as she has made living here a nightmare and I cannot wait to sell

Don’t lay down and let her walk all over you. You tell her you want to see three quotes before agreeing to anything.

Just tell her you afford anything.. What can she do?

@Daffodilsandtuplips regardless of the number of quotes she would want to do the same thing - from past experiences she hasnt used any of the builders I have found. It has always been her way or the highway.

I really do not have the time for the back and forth but I feel like this time she is taking the p*ss as I have told her I havent budgeted for this.

I have told her I will pay for labour and materials but not any marks ups - I know she will be outraged by this as she is used to getting her own way. I just want a quiet life right now!

@Thunderisntnicebythebeach I have already agreed to the works but said my decisions would be based on cost....hard to back out now.

Hand over 20 quid and ask her to let you know what you paid for! Extortion is illegal op. Why would you go along with HER ideas at YOUR cost?