Help please! Putting toddlers on own floor-unsafe?!

[sugarsprinklesrainbowdrops]

We live in a 3 story house. Downstairs is kitchen/living room/lounge open plan.

Middle floor has 2 bedrooms and bathroom.

Top has 2 bedrooms, one en-suite.

Currently middle floor is used as guest room & husband's office.

Top floor is almost 2 year old DD's room and our bedroom.

DC2 is due in a few months & we are thinking of making office into DC2 bedroom & guest bedroom into one for DD. Then we'd convert DD's current room into a dressing room/office (currently I use the spare bedroom for clothes storage as our bedroom is small). Guest bedroom is used rarely so it's a waste of space really.

Is it a terrible idea/unsafe to have a 2 year old on a floor of her own...and eventually 2 children (we'd planned to stay here until DD is around 5)? Otherwise when she starts using the toilet at night independently, she will have to walk through our bedroom to the en suite which isn't ideal! It's also tiring for her to climb to the top of the house to play with her toys during the day. We aren't sure if we are being ridiculous worrying about this but if it's not safe to have 2 children on a floor alone, we need to look at moving house. We moved here years ago so didn't consider children and the practicalities & none of my friends have children yet so can't provide any advice. Would really appreciate any points of view!

My child has been on the middle floor since he was 7 months. We only have 1 bedroom on the top floor. It's fine. Use a baby monitor.

Its not ideal but what's the alternative?

DC1 has been on a separate floor from us since age 3 1/2yo. Worked out fine. Night lights. Floor landing lights and bathroom lights.

Dc2 came along when DC1 just turned 4yo.
DC2 stayed in our bedroom in a co sleeper cot and then went into their own double bed at 16mo in their own bedroom on a different floor.

No baby monitor was needed.

By the age of 2 1/2 yo DC2 was capable of getting out of their double bed and up the stairs into our bed in the middle of the night.

So. It's worked for us but we are very relaxed parents who had a 1yo in our bedroom for longer than planned!!!

I'm sure you will make it work.

Why would you put them in separate bedrooms so young anyway? Under sevens love to share, andd it's better to have preschoolers on the same floor as you.

I would let them share once baby moves out of your room, I wouldn't put them on a separate floor but then I would be scared just incase there was a fire or someone broke in.

I would never have a 2 year old on a different floor from me, but that's just how I feel about it.

I would keep it as it is and put baby in with toddler when old enough to leave your room. You still have a guest room then. Get good storage downstairs for toys. Ours never played in their rooms until much older with train tracks set up etc..I wouldn't leave two little ones below me. If anything l would put them above me .

Thanks everyone- lots to think about! I definitely wouldn't put them in the same room when the baby is 6 months (our room isn't large enough for a full size cot so 6 months is when DD moved out). The baby would very likely disrupt DD's sleep. She's a very light sleeper & consistently sleeps 7-7 so I wouldn't want to disrupt her routine. Although she's almost 2, she still has a 2-3 hour nap at lunch & is in a great routine so don't want to risk ruining it.

She has lots of toys downstairs but her larger items (ball pit/teepee/toy shop/toy kitchen) are hugely impractical to be in the living room & she requests to go upstairs to play with them most days. We already have an artist board & a huge ride on car alongside 2 toy boxes in the living room 🙈 She still naps at lunch so it's quite a trek to the top for her! Not having a guest room isn't really an issue- we have a very large open plan downstairs with sofa beds which our (infrequent) guests use now over the bedroom anyway.

Apart from the one poster with the fire/burglar reasoning, what is everyone else's reasoning for being apprehensive about children on a different floor? Thanks again for the input!

Of course you can have them on a separate floor. My babies were on a mezzanine floor on their own from day 1, the oldest vacating it to the floor above (on his own) at 20 months when my next was born. I had a monitor when they were babies. I don’t see the problem at all.

We lived in a townhouse, DS was on a different floor, we just all kept our bedroom doors open, it was 100% fine.

I also worried about fires/burglars but in our current house there isn't another good option (unless we let the 5 and 7 year old have the loft with ensuite), so we are on a separate floor.

Our DCa all share, which j think helps. The trickiest stage to me was around 12-24 months, when there would be night wakings necessitating lots of night trips through noisy stairgates that woke up other children swiftly followed by a move to a big boy bed, which led to night (attempted) wanderings, and the older DCs feeling trapped by gates at night! With this baby we're keeping him in the room over 12 months, hopefully will help.

You'll get used to it quicker than you expect!

We have Ds2 (aged 2) up on the top floor with us and ds1 (aged 9) has slept downstairs since age 7. I admit it does make me nervous should anything happen but usually one of us sleeps in the spare room opposite him anyway so he hasn't actually been on his own that much. He was once terribly sick in the night and I wouldn't have known if I'd not gone in for my last-check-of-the-night ritual (he'd slept through it & was in a massive puddle. Actually quite dangerous so I'd definitely advise a baby monitor). But realistically with two kids and two bedrooms on each floor, someone's got to be on a different floor to you. As long as little ones are safe (eg can't get to the front door/fall/eat everything in the fridge), it is actually OK and you get used to it.

Thanks! Good to hear the opposite point of view of it working out. Our top floor is quite cramped & if 1/2 children slept up there, they'd have to walk across our bedroom, past our bed (presumably turn on the light) and use our en suite overnight which isn't ideal as DH works unusual hours & often is up crazily early. The other option is to climb downstairs using a very steep staircase to a toilet on the other side of the house on the floor below.

Although DD is basically 2, we use a monitor at night as both her & us like to sleep listening to spa type music (we did it when a previous neighbour was being noisy with parties at night & now can't sleep without it ) so if she was the floor below, it'd be the same. I just wasn't sure about separate floors although I don't even know what my concern is about it, it just feels odd! I assume our neighbours (street of 8-10 identical houses) all have to sleep on separate floors as everyone else has 2-4 children already.

Thanks again for all the input either way everyone. We were panic scouring zoopla to move in 6 months earlier when we realised we'd be on different floors & then thought it might be best to ask for experiences before doing that drastic move!

I have DD 20 months and DS's 8 and 5 on a different floor to me and never even thought about it.
DD is still in a cot and has a gate on the door though.

Of course it is fine. You put stairgate at the top of the stairs that lead up from the ground floor) and bottom of the stairs (that lead to top floor) if you wish, and if it helps you relax you can use a monitor (but you won't really need it - you'll hear them).
Ours were all on the first floor whilst we were on the 2nd floor from when we moved in to this house when dc3 was 22m.

On a semi- related note, what age did you stop using baby monitors? We planned to use one for DD for at least another few years even if on the same floor like PP says, I worry about her being sick & not hearing it so I sleep with it right beside me at full volume which means I end up checking her every time she coughs but it puts my mind at ease!

I slept on a different floor to my parents from 6 months and survived. They'll be fine. I was on the middle and parents on the top.

Fire us unlikely, once they are old enough, teach them how to get out independently.

Burgulars don't want to disturb people, they go for empty houses.

We're in the loft conversion and our 3yo and almost 2yo are on the lower floor. We still use monitors (and probably will for a while) but they play upstairs happily and toddler is tall and uses the stairs confidently.

I'd much rather have toddlers below me than above me.

Personally I'd probably give it another year or two before you move her as she doesn't need to come out of nappies at night imminently, and moving them both down together would be easier I think than separately. You can put a potty in her room while you're encouraging night dryness. But as you say, it's got to be normal in a town house to have the children on a different level.

Be aware that children don't always wake to smoke alarms.

I wouldn't put the DC in the same bedroom if you can avoid it. Try all possible permutations and see what works for you.
When mine were small the ground floor space was also their playroom. You can't send toddlers upstairs to play. Accept that for a few years your house will be overrun with kiddie stuff.

Still use a video monitor for dd (4.5). Will change for sound only when baby comes in dec and she moves to a different floor. We just wouldn't hear her with the set up of our house.

On the toilet issue, my parents use a full size camping toilet for dd at their house as she sleeps on a floor with no loo

I wouldn’t do it personally but I wouldn’t judge someone else for doing it if they felt ok with it.

Do it. We did it. It’s been fine. We just have a really solid stair gate. I never had any fears about it. (We live in a London mid-terrace).
And we use baby monitors (not video) with DS1 still. He’s 7. That way if he really needs something he can tell us rather than wandering around. He goes to the loo on his own and has a bottle of water. He hasn’t called out to us in years I think but we have it.

@llangennith of course not! I take DD upstairs to play with her & will do for a good few years. Who would she serve in her toy kitchen/shop otherwise?!

😄

But this up and down with a baby who needs to nap may not be so practical.