flight without DH with 3dc? is it possible or totally mad?

[weasle]

we are thinking of going to visit my parents who live in the usa in the summer. We will have 4.5yo, 2.9yo and 3month old. part of the reason is that DH is already at a conference elsewhere during part of the time i want to go, so i would have help and people around for that week, and then he would join us for the last 2 weeks and fly back with us.

am i totally mad to consider flying on my own with the children to get there? i realise it will be very hard, not sure how i will manage customs, getting luggage etc. with tired grumpy children. will the rest there be worth the challenge getting there? the other option is to manage at home alone for a week whilst DH away then fly with him for a holiday with my parents. neither really appeal!

any advice/experience welcome!

TIA

If the older two will be hooked on the DVD player I really think it will be possible if the youngest has a seat with car seat to be left in securely.

When I did this the 5 year old was happy to use the loo on the plane alone. I took the 3 year old and left the baby or carried him and stood outside the loo door. If the baby needed his nappy changing I left the other two watching the film. It never occurred to me I needed to take all three children if I moved around the plane.

When you get the luggage, the older child can push the baby in the buggy and you push the trolley. Or as I did put baby in car seat on top of the trolley.

As we were coming back to UK I didn't have the problem with long queues for immigration but they did loose our luggage for a while, so we did spend a long time in baggage reclaim waiting for it to arrive.

Might be doable IF your buggy is waiting for you right at the plane door when you get off, but very often it isn't, "it's with the baggage", the staff say breezily, and you have to walk for miles with all the children and bags!

This happened both ways on our recent trip to France (from Canada with BA), we have 7 year old, 3 year old, and 1 year old. If dh hadn't been there I wouldn't have been able to do it.

oh yes i'd forgotten about how the pram is never actually there when you get off the plane. well, rarely. i'd never manage to drag us all the way to baggage reclaim without it, often it is a long way and you have to do customs first. maybe i'd have to do my refusing to move until i get help thing again, but american airport staff aren't very friendly usually, they might just arrest me or refuse me entry. Hmmm.

i know the benefits of an elite flier type thing aren't transferable, but i was hoping my dad could at least arrange something, he is phoning them this weekend or monday to find out.

i would plan to take baby in sling, small pram for ds2 and make ds1 walk, we have a trunki but i can't see how i could pull it as well and ds1 and ds2 always fight over it. my mum would be delighted to help by buying nappies for when we are there and washing clothes and already has toys so could take minimum. still quite a bit needed for the hand luggage though; spare clothes, nappies, snacks, dvds, a few toys. at least i won't need room for any books for me . it'd be a daytime flight.

Go for it! It might well be a nightmare journey out there but it's only a day, and you will have lots of fun when you get there.

Talk to your eldest before you go, explain how you need him/her to be extra-sensible and help mummy out, give him/her some small responsibility perhaps.

Ref loo - I have always changed baby nappies in the seat, using waterproof mat from changing bag, etc. Then throw away nappy in plane loo. Eldest child can go alone, perhaps you can practise beforehand when you go out to public loos? The baby will be fine on your seat with the eldest child if you have to take DC2 to the loo.

Ref buggy - we always travel BA to the USA and my buggy has always been waiting for me at the plane door when I got off. Def recommend using a sling for baby and buggy for DC2. Also, get little backpacks for the older DCs so they can put their teddies etc in them.

The return flight does not have to be overnight...JFK is hideous in the evenings so we now travel on the morning flight whenever possible...kids not sleeping doesnt seem so bad when the rest of the passengers arent asleep..

Baggage reclaim really close to immigration, and close to the exit doors too. Remember to have some change (2 x quarters I think) for a trolley and you'll be fine!

'but american airport staff aren't very friendly usually,'

No one helped us in Amsterdam or Glasgow, either.

It's a daytime flight on the way over.

I would probably do it. It will be tiring, but if it is worth it at the other end its only one day of your holiday. I regularly travel with my 3 little ones (now 5, 3 and 1). In January I did a (2 hour) flight with all 3 including DD1 who had her leg in plaster, and me feeling rough and exhausted as pregnant with dc4.

7 hours is quite long, but hopefully they will sleep a bit, and there will be meal times, films to break it up a bit.

For taking the children to the loo, I have on several occasions, when dc3 has been fast asleep on my lap, pushed the stewardess button and asked someone to take dd2 to the loo for me. This has never been a problem, and I have always found the staff on board to be very helpful and understanding.

re spare clothes...pack light for the plane...babygrows for baby...really comfy and don't up much room. co ordinate tops the older two are wearing with easy to change matching trousers/leggings and dresses/trakkie bottoms etc...

make sure you have a hands free bag...a messenger style or rucksack (that you can use with your sling!)

i think i'd risk it...whats the worst that can happen.... at least you'll have help on your homeward flight!

It actually costs three dollars to hire a luggage cart at JFK.

from my experience of travelling solo with one child (various ages from 5mo, last trip was 2y5mo) the thing I struggled with most was handling check in, security and boarding, and customs at the other end. Doesn't mean you can't do it but you should be prepared for the experience to be really hard work. Once on the plane it gets a lot easier, at least everyone has a seat and can't run off!

Take help for check in and up to security - extra pair of hands to push your trolley, hold onto small people while you sort ticket and passports would be invaluable.

Then you will have to deal with security on your own. How much stuff will you have with you? Change of clothes for each child? more for baby? toys / books? or just rely on in-flight stuff? Depends on how helpful your eldest is (can manage own small bag of in-flight goodies I would think) and if the 2.9yo is a bolter or good at staying put (probably can't trust with own bag in terms of actually pulling it the whole way to the plane).

The exercise of folding buggies, taking off shoes, going through scanner is quite hard work. But only a tiny bit of your journey. You may need to find a kindly passenger or staff member to help. IME (Gatwick) the security staff are surly and unhelpful. BA at Heathrow I had to emotionally blackmail a staff member to help me get to the terminal (a hub at T5 - bloody miles away!) in his break.

Will you be able to push middle child, have baby in sling, keep oldest near you and pull along a flight bag?

And you have no guarantee that your stroller will be waiting for you at the bottom of the steps when you arrive (often to be found on the carousel) - could you manage 2 dcs on foot waiting in the customs / security line? If not you definitely need to get some sort of assurance from the airline about what they will help with - get your dad to sort and yes get it in writing! Airlines say different things every time you ask ime.

Not saying this to put you off, it is doable, just to ensure that you think through the pitfalls.

Good luck!

Are the older ones used to flying? I think that makes a difference. We do a long trip every year with three children and have done it with every combination of ages from 8 weeks up. There are always loads of young children on the flight who go backwards and forwards a lot and none of them ever cause any trouble and it's a much longer flight. There was a woman last time on her own with a baby and a 3 year old and, although I just kept thanking god it wasn't me, she was fine.

I think it will probably be horrible, but not as horrible as you expect, and to be honest, once you're on the plane you're on the way and that's that. I think 7 hours is OK but don't expect to enjoy it. And only do it if your children are relatively biddable.

Amsterdam had brilliant luggage trolleys.

I gladly handed over $10 to a Sky Valet in Houston.

People come over with a huge luggage cart, load everything on it for you and take it to your car in the car park.

That wasn't even an option in Glasgow.

They're missing a trick.

expat Amsterdam rocks! There is a really high tolerance though for children travelling. DS kicked the seat in front and I told him in a 'don't mess with me' voice not to do it anymore, and he stopped. It was a 7 hour flight after they had been on a 6 hour flight and 3 hour stop over, so they really could be forgiven for being exhausted.

Amazed though when people commented how well behaved they were (after a diversion to Manchester -- but that's another story )

Try travelling on a train or bus before you go.

There was a nice play area in Amsterdam for children and even a baby room complete with cots!

If we HAVE to go that way again, though, I'll ask on here which hotels nearby are best for families and spend the night before carrying on.

Until DS gets to be about 4 or 5 it's too much for him to do in a day.

thanks all. i think i will try to do it, of course any delays or diversions make it a nightmare!

my mum is considering flying over to 'collect us' which is lovely of her but of course expensive and tiring for her.

we are quite well travelled, ds1 has probably been on 30 flights, ds2 about 20, including to australia and back and a few trip to usa, but that was without dc3 and with dh!

Go for it. You've done the trip to Oz so you know that compared to that EVERYTHING is easy. (I would baulk at advising you to do that trip on your own with three kids!). Seven hours is 14 half hour slots, if you break it down in your mind it will be fine. Most people are nicer than you expect them to be if they see you're struggling.