11 mo old jetlag--when will this end?!

[Eliamum]

DD has never been a fab sleeper and we have struggled to keep her down all of her 11 months. Anyway, we returned from a trip to the states four days ago. The jetlag going west was fine. She was waking a bit more than usual but settled herself most of the time. I was bringing her into the bed around 4 each morning in order to keep her down.

Now we have returned and the jetlag coming east is MUCH WORSE. She has been in bed with us all three nights although she has started each night in her cot. After about 30 mins she's waking up and crying like I've never heard her cry before. It's heartbreaking! The only thing for it is to bring her into our bed and boob her and boob her and boob her until she sleeps.

Any thoughts on when she will adjust? How long does east bound jetlag last and why is she crying so dramatically?

Sleep inertia probably making her cry. This is basically feeling dreadful and groggy from not sleeping when your body wants to and feeling rubbish. Learnt this in this book Used this book all the time with my 2.

I'm assuming you're following her old nap routine in the day to the letter as well?

She'll probably take a few more days and possibly a little gentle sleep training. I'd do the PUPD method.

But do whatever feels comfortable with your little girl x

I've always been told one day for every time zone travelled. So, if you were on the east coast, where they're five hours behind the UK, about five days to re-adjust. We took my then 2 1/2 month old DS to the east coast US in January and it took him about 4-5 days to completely settle back to UK time (we returned when he was 3 months).

I think, too, it depends how long you were there for -- did your daughter have time to adjust before bringing her back?

Thank you so much for your thoughts. We were only in the midwest for 7 days (with a 6hr time difference).
Since we returned, I have been trying to get back to the old nap routine but we are set back a few hours. For instance, instead of waking at 6:30 (on a good day ) and going to bed at 7, we are on more of a 8 to 8:30. She does seem to be settling in a bit better now.

Last night I made sure i put her down totally awake. She cried (poor poor thing) really hard for about 20 mins then passed out at 8:40. I did my 11mo old version of PUPD, which is really to just sit by her and murmur comforting words. She then stayed down until 11ish, which is the first time all week she made it past 45mins so that is good. Up again at midnight at which point I moved the sofa cushions onto her floor and settled in but she went straight back down and stayed down 'til 5:30.

Sleep inertia--interesting. I think I can relate. Thank you both. I think I can already see the end of this in sight. Now I just have to get her off the boob at 5:30!

Oo that's good. Fingers crossed for you tonight x

Yes, fingers crossed for you! Poor little things don't understand time zones and jet lag, but it sounds like you're doing all of the right things.

(Hope you had a good trip to the US.)

Thanks. The trip was great. There to see the grandparents. Poor DD usually only sees them on skype.

I always have to remind myself that reasoning is not yet one of her strong suits! Last night was dreadful, btw.

DD was up at 11, 12, 2, 3, and 6. I fell asleep on her floor a few times and gave up at 6 and brought her into our bed--bad mummy!! we will never get out of this if I don't stop doing that but it's really hard when you are so tired and have just suffered a bad night, right?

Here's hoping for a better night tonight. She used to go from bedtime til 4am at least anyway. Do either of you have any thoughts on nightwakings and how to eliminate them? I suspect it might be related to coming into the bed. It's not as though she doesn't know how to sleep and it's not as though she's waking from hunger each and everytime.

Does she still have feeds at night?

I know that children can like getting the attention over night so much so, that they force themselves awake out of habit when they come into a lighter part of their sleep cycle and call for mummy/ daddy etc.

I've sleep trained mine and got them sleeping well overnight by 12 months. I was pretty ruthless but the more over tired mine get, the worse they sleep. So it was in my interest to get them well rested, as they're happier and so am I.

Maybe I'm just mean? In your shoes I'd take a few days off work, get my mum to stay or someone fro extra help and support and do some serious sleep training

I nightweaned her at 9mo but after a particularly nasty bout with a gastro followed immediately by her two top front teeth coming down, I ended up getting stuck with an early am feed.

I have sleep trained her before with a gradual withdrawal sort of thing. What did it in the end was the nightweaning. Right now when she is waking and crying, I'm just sitting by her cot until she goes back to sleep so I don't think I'm rewarding "bad" behavior. Maybe my very presence...? [sigh].

I don't think you are mean. I think you have to do what you have to do. My DH and I feel really frustrated as it always seem that just when we get back on top something like the gastro happens as we are back to square one.

The clocks change soon that will hopefully help. Did with my DD when she used to wake early.

Black out blind?

Leaving some toys in cot to play with if waking early? Or a sucky cup, so they can have a drink if they do wake early?

Would any of those work at all?

Sounds like under very tricky circumstances you've done your very best bless you. My kids have never had any problems apart from teething pain. So I can't possibly understand how difficult this must have been or demoralising if everytime you thought you'd cracked sleep it all went pear shaped again.

I've good things about wake to sleep. If they always wake at the same time everyday.

• I've heard

Have a look at rubyslippers big paragraph on this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/5/590533

Particularly the second part of her message. Have heard many many people say it has worked for them. I think it's from the baby whisperer book.

Thanks tea. I have heard a lot about that too and have been waiting for the wake up to regulate and I def going to give it a go. I think I'll need to get through this jetlag first.

Clocks going back! Oh man! I forgot about that... so my current 8:30 pm bedtime will become 9:30... sheesh. I better get this sorted. I go back to work in 3 weeks. There's a naughty part of me that looks forward to passing some of these problems off to the nursery staff.

We do have black out blinds and toys in the cot. Sucky cups just seem to leak out and make for a wet mattress. I really appreciate your suggestions!! Pls don't think I don't! I'm going to x my fingers for a good night.

Hi ellamum, can I ask how you got on on the plane with your dd? My dd will be 10 months when we fly to Florida next month and am dreading that part. Did you have your own seat for her? Hope you had a good night xxx

So another difficult night. DD woke 4 or 5 times again. I had decided that instead of rushing straight in, I would wait for that real I-need-you cry. I had stopped doing this after the gastro two months ago. Sooo, I did but she didn't really settle herself at any point. I still had to go to her in the end. I'm going to keep trying... although she woke up with a cold this morning.

Thank you so much for your support tea. It means a lot just to have someone out there pulling for me!

Hi charlieboo. You know what, I was soo worried about the flights. I did not book a separate seat for my very squirmy and active 11mo old. I couldn't forsee her actually agreeing to sit still and couldn't afford it, really. The flight there was really fine. I let her get as much crawl time in the airport as possible and on the plane. I followed her around and made sure she didn't pull everyone shoelaces. I brought a few of her favorite books. I brought far too many toys. She didn't really play with any of them and as soon as I had them out of the bag, I regretted it as balls/ rattles/ etc have a way of rolling far far away at 30,000ft. She was more interested in pulling out the pages of the magazine anyway.

If you can book the bulkhead seats do. And then confirm. And then confirm again. And then raise a stink if you don't get them. If your LO is under 22lbs, ask for the skycot.

The flight back was a bit harder. She really wanted to sleep but found my lap too uncomfortable to really settle into. And there is a lot of commotion.

The going there is fine. Jetlag is gone within a day or two. Coming back is (I'm not going to lie to you) awful. But you are back so you can deal with it better in your own space, I suppose? xxx

Oh that's is poo Eliamum

Its exhausting when this sort of thing happens. Like your idea of not rushing in when they first cry out. If it's a cold though, maybe roll with it until better and then try again?

I tend to raise head of cot, karvol in bed, calpol if temperature is raging and if really distressed may offer feed. And cut feed out again once better.

I have been known to use medised (oh the shame) but it was still allowed at 3 months onwards with my first child and I have an old box still. So I just follow instructions. Very emotive issue, so I do not usually confess but it works so well if karvol, tipping cot etc is not working. Hoping the cold isn't a really bad one for you though.

Can your hubby take turns with you if bad or maybe let you sleep on sofa one night with ear plugs in, so you can get a full nights sleep and he deals with them?

Thanks. Last night was a little better, I think. Still had a wake up at midnight and 2 but then she slept until 6 at which point I fed her and she went back down until nearly 7. A few more nights like that and I think the NW will disappear. I hope!!!

I would never judge you for using medised! I have often wished I had some in the cupboard so I could have just one more good night's sleep. Thanks for the cold advise. I don't think her cold is too bad... no fever. Just a sniffle. My DH takes the bed until midnight shift and I take everything after. It only seems fair as he has to get up and go to work everyday and I just lay on the bedroom floor while DD crawls all over me, blows raspberries on my belly, and honks my nose.

Just out of curiosity, what sort of sleep training did you do and at what age?

We came back from the US when DS was 13m. It took a week of hell and then he calmed down and slept again. Hang on!

Thanks mumsnut. It has been exactly a week adn last night was a bit better. A bit more like normal. DD cried out briefly sometime in the night but immediately went back to sleep. Woke at 4, 5, and up for the day at 6.