How do you deal with rude passengers on a plane?

[gemmamay]

Hi All

I must write and have a rant as I am so annoyed!

We have just flown back on from the US on a night flight - we have a 2 year old.

We did all we could to wear her out during the day, swimming, running about on the beach to make ure she would sleep - even had a some phenergan for emergencies!

When she started to cry (she sometimes does just before she konks out) the women in front turned around and started moaning to us, saying couldn't we jsut get her to go to sleep as she had been putting up with it for an hour (it was 5 mins max)!!!

I was so upset - dh tld her to sit back down and we were trying our best - I had to walk off as I was in tears.

The staff were great on the plane (BA flight) and talked to the woman and told her (she had been upgraded) if she wanted to sit child free she could do so back in economy!

But what would you do in that situation - flying with children is stressful enough but with passengers like that how are you supposed to cope?

PS - dd did sleep through in the end!

I used to travel first class on the train as a child due to my father's job. No-one ever objected although they were mostly travelling on business. Once I was a teenager travelling on my own I used to get filthy looks from businessmen (it was always men) who imagined I'd sneaked into first class. Ha! Used to really enjoy ticket collector coming round - there'd always be some grown-up being escorted back to the 'you can travel in this quasi-first class if you pay a bit extra on your second-class ticket' section while I smugly stayed in my genuine first class seat.
Sadly all that came to an end once I left university and they took my leather pass away... sniff... Only way to get it back now would be to ditch dh and marry someone my father's age who worked for railways when they were nationalised in a senior enough job to get first class travel. Is occasionally a tempting thought.

ahhh, any advice on the screaming toddler problem? would be ecstatic with gratitude...

bumpity-bump

Sansouci - no new advice from stuff I've seen on MN before, but probably just DISTRACTION, DISTRACTION, DISTRACTION.......

I think kids have as much right as any other traveller to be in whichever seats they have paid for, however I also think parents have a responsibility to make all reasonable efforts to keep them quiet/ entertained, and to do their best to ensure they disrupt other passengers as little as possible (all of which it sounds as if GemmaMay was doing...)

However, when we flew on holiday in May on a 2.5 hour flight, I got really pissed off with some of the parents on the flight who had clearly MADE NO EFFORT WHATSOEVER to think about/ plan for entertaining their children during the journey.
We had packed a variety of 'travel puzzles'/ books/ card games for DS1 / DS2 who were 5 & 3, and DS1 had his gameboy and a new game, which we'd bought specially to keep him occupied, while we entertained ds2.
Within minutes of take-off, 2 or 3 boys, aged 6/7 started clustering round DS1/ leaning over us to see what he was doing on the game/ and asking if they could 'borrow' it, or any of the other toys. They were getting in the way of the trolley service, and the air hostesses kept asking them to sit down, which they didn't. At one point one of them said, "Let's see..." and grabbed DS1's Gameboy, then proceeded to walk off back towards his seat with it. I was furious, and went after him to get it back (DS1 was a bit unsure how to handle it all).
The parents made no effort to engage with their kids - just sat drinking and reading papers - obviously very happy that they weren't bothering them .
What's worse, we realised that the other passengers seemed to think that these other kids were WITH US and were tutting and complaining (they were all being really loud in the aisle and hanging over the sides of seats/ headrests etc.)
In the end DH got completely fed up and told them very loudly (for the benefit of everyone else too) that they had to go back to their parents since we had no intention of 'running an inflight creche' any longer ...

Grrrrrrrrrr...... still makes me angry thinking about it...

Sansouci - i think your biggest asset will be your 5yo in helping you distract your 2yo. Someone recommended to me wrapping up favourite toys about a month or so before travel, so you can pack them in hand luggage and bring them out as a surprise. My ds(when he was 14mo) threw the mother of all tantrums ALL THE WAY( yes, i am shouting, because thinking about it makes me go AAARGH) from Sydney to Perth( about 5 hours) and in the end, virtually the whole plane was commenting on his amaxing stamina and stubbornness in keeping going. Sometimes an awful child can unite people in sympathy for you. We landed at 4pm and he slept then for nearly 14 hours solid!. Food generally works, and i always carry a bottle of Piriton with me now for plane trips{puts head above parapet waiting to be shot down}in case all else fails.
Good luck!

On the subject of the original postings, we have flown business with our twins and will do so again once the flight is over 5 hours long. Once they are over 10, they will go in the front row of economy and us in the back row of business. One of my friends flies over seperately they day before, leaving kids with granny, in business class/Club and then uses BA's "unaccompanied minors" service to ship her pre teens over in economy.!!!

Back to the original question (How do you deal with rude passengers on a plane?), if I am in a good mood I say I'm trying my best, in a bad mood I pretend I don't speak English, in my worst mood I could yell at them, though I have never yelled to a fellow passenger but once did to a hostess who refused me to let me out of the toilet to get more wipes for DS after a diarrea "attack", when she told me that I was not allowed out of the toilet with DS's dirty clothes in a nappy bag as I was "contaminating the aircraft" I was a few words short of calling her b, DS passed out and needed to be taken straight to the clinic at the next airport but still the useless woman keep saying that she would bring me a cleaning product so I could desinfect the toilet even when the toilet was clean!

That was in American BTW

ha - can I join in?

I am so fed upwith airlines. i recently was flying business class with my ds - aged 2. Now - I was at the same time on a business trip (was taking him to Grandma's first before I went to my meetings etc), so i wasn't paying the fare thankfully for myself, but had coughed up teh full amount for him as now he's 2 he pays full fare.

So anyway - at AMsterdam we go to the business class loung and have coffee, juice, biccie etc, before getting on the plane. he's a dream on planes and sleeps the minute the engines start up - think it was all the flying when i was pg with him.

ANYWAY, on the way back. A Smallist regional airport in Scotland (my home town which will remain nameless) refused to let us into thebusiness lounge as "business travellers need their quiet". WHAT??? I lost it totally and asked the woman why it was Ok in Amsterdam, but not in this airport - no answer. I also asked why people were ok to sit next to a child on the plane, but not in the sodding lounge - again no reply.

It really hacks me off that kids are treated as second class citizens - we were all babies once. The other point is that if you fly economy - they seem to think that the best place for small children is at the back next to the engines where they are likely to get even more upset by the noise. WTF?

I once sat next to a guy who gave me such filthy looks when ds was flying for the first time aged 3 weeks and crying as we came down and muttered something to his companion about "Bloody kids". I replied "Yes, it's a miracle that your mother didn't strangle you as a small child - maybe ew'd all have been better off if she had"..

GRRRRRR

Klara - get your company to claim back some of the cost of the ticket. You've paid to use the business lounge. They didn't let you. They owe your company money.

Klara,

Think Mr Jobsworth was on duty that day.

Did they still not let you and your child into the lounge after your discussion?. I would certainly take this further with the airline concerned even if they do not directly "own" the lounge in question (some lounges are operated as separate entities to the airline). Unless there is a specific notice to the contrary posted or you were told in advance then your child should be let in such a place.

Hi Sansouci

I'm off to Sydney with DD (2.8) this week. On my own. .

I've bought and wrapped lots of toys, stickers, books, colouring, play-doh, little dolls etc.

My piece de resistance is a portable DVD player which I a) got cheap and b) will load up with a favourite DVD or two. I'm hoping to do the trip in two legs of 12 hours - 9 for sleeping and 3 for the DVD.

I also have a bag full of snacks and drinks, blankie and lots of dummies (she always throws at least two over the seats).

As it's an extra long flight I will award myself an extra glass of wine in departures to cope with the additional stress, and may also pack a small 'travel' champagne to reward myself with when she drops off.

I'm also taking the car seat, as it reclines and I know she'll sleep in it.

Good luck. No doubt there'll be a thread from me on the subject once we finally arrive.

Oh, and we've flown business lots of times. I've found distraction works the best (don't even think about doing anything else, spend your whole time quietly entertaining), gentle reminders about quiet and a DVD about how to behave on a plane have worked wonders. We haven't had a complaint so far (fingers crossed).

pinotgrigio, it may not be as bad as you fear. Our last international trip was a 7-hour flight to Canada (much shorter than Sydney, but still!). And the only problem I had was, I hadn't packed enough books. DS1, about the same age as your DD, was entranced by seat-back telly, and just sat and stared for the entire flight.

Our next one will be tougher, as DS2 will be nearly one, and of course crawling everywhere. Hopefully DS1 (nearly four) will help.

Sneekily - looking at work - but just to set the record straight....we were in economy plus which we chose due to extra room and first flight with dd in her own seat.

On BA don't they call it Club not business....

never had to deal with rude passengers, only rude steward(esse)s.

One told me that I should have thought of any possible problems before I decided to fly on my own with a baby.

Flying on my own with ds (18 months) and dd(3.2) the week after next. My plan involves: lots of junky snack food; those sugar free chuppa chups, a new toy each; no portable dvd player.

on another note - pinotgrigio - I'm intrigued that you lived in the town where i grew up (even though you called it a hell hole - rightly, probably). thought I was the only one.

I agree with legacy. We flew back from Orlando in April & the family in front had 2 primary school aged boys (not toddlers) who spent the first couple of hours of the flight swinging on the seats in front of them, and sticking their heads through the gap to annoy us.

Mother ignored them. Father was sat across the aisle, and as soon as he'd settled down in his seat put on the blindfold-thingy and went to sleep!! Once mother went to the loo, the woman in front told the boys to stop pulling on the back of her seat and when they turned round to us again DH told them to go away (not rudely, but firmly). After that they settled down and went to sleep.

Obviously you can't expect babies and toddlers not to cry, or even to be quiet, but I do think an awful lot of parents just abdicate all responsibility & inflict their older children's bad behaviour on everyone else.

whoa! what a subject - I've started off - glad that there are others that felt this lady was unreasonable.

I agree children and planes do not mix but when we had children and became mums we didn't give up our lives (too much) did we?

I would feel bad if DD cried in econmony, traveller plus, business or first (although the day I get to first I won't have her with me! I'll want to enjoy that for myself!)

Parents shouldn't give up resonsibility of their kids on the flight - I mean planes aren't the place the let your kids run riot.

But fellow passengers when they see a baby/toddler - should be able to think - "Theres a mum and dad with a little kid, she's gonna be having a bit tough time on the plane, lets cut her a bit of slack"

SP - oh dear, which one did I call a hellhole? I hope I didn't offend. If it was anywhere in Norfolk it was a hellhole to me because I was a teenager and forced to spend my entire summer holidays with my divorced father in a field in the back of beyond instead of clubbing in London. I'd be quite happy to move there now, honest!

NQC - Thanks for the positive thoughts. I really hope so. We're running out of options with our flight and so we might get a dodgy never heard of airline without a decent tv. I'm also scared about how I'm going to manage a buggy, carseat, 2 suitcases and a buggy on my own, and the jetlag, finding a new house and nursery and settling DD in with a new nanny.

Not that I'm stressing or anything .

BA and their lounges - my dh's pet hate. I must admit other parents can be bad - a mum let her child run riot in the business lounge in Malta shredding cream crackers everywhere, then mum changed a nappy in the lounge leaving the dirty one for the staff to clear up. Sometimes it's hardly surprising we parents get a bad name...

Thumbs up to BA though when they upgraded me, dh and all 4 children to traveller plus on a NY/Heathrow flight when baby was 6 weeks. My children are rarely a problem - baby occasionally cries for a couple of minutes - but I still get embarrassed and make them over-behave.

My only gripe is with vile parents who let their kids upset other people. If a parent is trying his/her best we should be supportive. And airlines should provide tips for first time travellers with kids.

We flew BA business class to Copenhagen with our 3 dd's. Got in the lounges both times no problem and the BA stewardesses were really nice.

Would do it again if we had the air miles!

Thank you for all the tales of travel with baby/toddler/child! I know I'm not alone but it's good to hear that others coped & survived. I have to go to Vancouver! My dad lives there as do my 2 half-sisters (the eldest has 3 kids aged 4, 2 & 6 mos) and now my mum has moved back there, too. So, grin & bear it. We could always schedule a meet-up at Heathrow on Aug 2!