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Original poster

leaving baby alone in a hotel room?

44 replies

mendipgirl · 22/02/2010 16:38

I have a family do to attend in November and am wondering whether to go or not. My daughter will be 2 years old by then and the hotel offers a baby listening service. I am not sure what this is and if it is safe to leave her in the hotel room sleeping whilst we have dinner downstairs? I have my doubts but am under some pressure to attend and am not sure if I am just being over protective. The hotel is in another part of the country, so we can't just get a babysitter as we will need to stay overnight. What does everyone think?

OP posts:

pixierara · 22/02/2010 16:42

I wouldn't personally - do you have family close by that could perhaps have her for a sleepover? If not, then take her with you and perhaps see if you can get her to sleep in her buggy by your side???? Or let her sleep later in the day and join in the evening festivites???

frogetyfrog · 22/02/2010 16:46

I wouldn't dream of it personally. Attend and take her to dinner with you and let her fall asleep on your lap or in a buggy rocking beside you. I think its a lovely thing to do and love that feeling of a sleepy child falling asleep on my shoulder while I chat the night away!

Rosa · 22/02/2010 16:46

If it was me then I would do exactly the same. See how long she lasts at the event then turns with dh about getting her to fall asleep in the buggy or if the worst comes to the worts to swaps with dh in the room . No way I would leave her in the room alone even with a baby listening service. Its a strange place for any 2 yr old ( IMO)

mosschops30 · 22/02/2010 16:47

er ...No!

If it was a baby then maybe, but a 2 yr old can get up, open windows or doors or even answer the door to a knock.

No way would I leave any of my dc's alone in a hotel room (not even dd at 13)

PrettyCandles · 22/02/2010 16:48

We have done this many times - but only at hotels which are specifically oriented towards families. You could always take your baby monitor and lock the door behind you. If you are in the hotel and the child is secure in the room, and you know that she will settle contentedly and sleep without waking, then I don't see what the problem is.

frogetyfrog · 22/02/2010 16:48

If you cant take her to dinner, then Rosas idea of swopping turns on babysitting is good one. Dh and I have done that where one gets the starter, then swop for main course, then swop for pudding! Its fine.

alarkaspree · 22/02/2010 16:49

You'll get a variety of answers on this. Personally I wouldn't trust a baby-listening service, this is where you leave your phone off the hook and the receptionist listens in to your room every now and then to make sure the baby isn't crying. But they might be busy or forget.

I would do it if I could take my own baby monitor and be certain it would work. You could talk to the hotel and ask them to give you a room close to the dining room.

Otherwise, you could ask the hotel to recommend a babysitter to look after your daughter in your room while you are downstairs, or depending on the event maybe you could just take her down to dinner with you.

At the end of the day you have to do what you're comfortable with. The risks are that your daughter might wake up and be upset (fairly likely), she might wake up, get out of her cot and the room and get lost wandering around the hotel (quite conceivable), a random stranger might break into the room and steal her (extremely unlikely), there might be a fire (again very unlikely), you might have a car crash travelling to the event (unlikely but less so than the previous two options). You have to weigh it all up and decide what level of risk avoidance makes sense to you.

PrettyCandles · 22/02/2010 16:49

Mind you, ours were still in a sleeping bag in a cot at that age.

mosschops30 · 22/02/2010 16:50

sorry but I only have to think of Madeline McCann to think that even when you think a child is secure in a room, theyre not.

frogetyfrog · 22/02/2010 16:50

I had a hotel room burgled recently - no forced entry. They never did find out who did it, but it was obviously a member of staff or somebody with key. I wouldnt leave my passport or purse in a hotel room let alone my child!!!!

shushpenfold · 22/02/2010 16:50

I have done this in the past - wouldn't again simply because by the time you know there is something wrong they are beside themselves. Get the hotel to organise a babysitter and then have fun in the knowledge that your lo is well looked after. It may cost a fair bit though as they would normally insist on only sitters who are CRB checked.

PrettyCandles · 22/02/2010 16:51

Some baby montoring systems are 'always-on', just like a baby monitor. So the receptionist (or sometimes it's the barman if you say that you are going to be in the bar/restaurant) doesn't have to actively listen to each room on the service. Any noise from any room will activate the loudspeaker, so the listener can immediately identify the room.

noktok · 22/02/2010 16:53

I would not consider it in a million years.

If your DD wants to sleep, I'd have her sleep in a buggy beside you.

At just 2, both mine were well able to climb out of a cot. There is no end to the mischief an unattended 2yo could get up to!

If people are saying you are overprotective and this do is going to be uncomfortable because of it, I'd just stay home.

kif · 22/02/2010 16:56

Sitters will give you a local babysitter wherever you are.

I've always found them great, and that's what I'd do.

2 is a tricky age. Understand lots - but not everything. So you can't pre-explain things to them - and they can get into a tizz/mischief.

A baby or a - say - 4 year old are much easier in these circs.

onebadbaby · 22/02/2010 16:57

Well- I have left my DD asleep in a hotel room on several occasions.

We have always asked for a room close to the restaurant/bar area, have made sure she is safe in a cot so she can't get out and hurt herself (when she was a baby) and we have taken our baby monitor with us and made sure the signal was strong enough to reach to where were sitting.

I wouldn't have felt safe enough to use the baby listening service and I wouldn't have left her without the assurance of having the baby monitor.

magentastardust · 22/02/2010 17:24

The listening services let you know when the receptionist/porter etc hear crying but you can't hear a fire over the monitor or as someone posted someone else entering the room. Yes its unlikely but its not a risk I would take with a child of any age -never mind 2.
A family friendly hotel may offer baby sitting service what we have done before is let our little one join in the wedding and then let them fall asleep in a buggy when they are tired. Or take it turns with family to baby sit in the room.
If people are putting pressure on you to attend the least they can do is help you out with your little one!

onebadbaby · 22/02/2010 17:41

But if there was a fire the smoke alarm would sound and our monitor would have picked up an intruder- I could hear my daughter just turning over- and the lights on it indicate the smallest sound.

Besides Madeleine Macann how many children are snatched form locked hotel rooms?? (and they left her in a room, with open window, no listening device and were in a different building).

In addition to these precautions we also periodically checked in on her as well.
I really do think some parents have become so paranoid about dangers to their kids that it is affecting rational judgment.

frogetyfrog · 22/02/2010 17:50

Is it a case of parents becoming paranoid though, that it is affecting their rational judgement. Or is it that we expect to lead an independant life from our children these days. After the Madeleine McCann horror, I remember talking about it at our local WI. Generally, the ladies there are older, and without exception all of them said that they never expected to go out without children when they had youngsters and that they thought it was weird and just wasnt done. I think the critical factor for them was that it was done for leisure. They could understand if the parent was desperate for money and had a cleaning job in the next flat for example. But not for a leisure meal out as they thought that leisure time was for all the family and simply odd that a child would be left in a room while the parents enjoyed a meal out!

onebadbaby · 22/02/2010 18:08

I am not advocating leaving kids so you can just have a nice meal, but when staying in a hotel what is the alternative??? for the parents to sit in the hotel room with the lights off while dc sleeps? We have stayed in a hotel for a few nights with our daughter, 4 and she needs to be in bed quite early so she can enjoy the following day- I don't think it is unreasonable for the parents to go and sit in the hotel bar and have a drink, as long as safety precautions are taken.. My parents did the same when I was small, so not all older people have that experience frogetyfrog. (and that was before the advent of listening devices)

frogetyfrog · 22/02/2010 18:27

I know not all older people would have that experience onebadbaby. I was left as a child - but thats a different story altogether. Simply saying what the ladies at the WI said - and there wasnt an exception but then it is a smallish group of about 20! Personally I think we do push our children away though - I havent experience of it but from what people say on here, children tend to be with their parents all the time and included in meals out, late nights etc on the continent?

em83 · 22/02/2010 19:05

omg ! NEVER EVER would i do this

Original poster

mendipgirl · 22/02/2010 20:00

Thanks for all the advice, it's really useful, especially about a 2 year old being able to move around more and get out of her cot, I hadn't even thought of that, she's only 16 months at the moment, so a lot will change by November. I think I will tell them to pencil us in and make a decision nearer the time when I know better what she can cope with then I can decide whether to send her to the inlaws for the weekend, take her to the dinner itself and let her fall asleep on us, or leave her and DH at home and go on my own (I think this would be DH's favourite option!). I think leaving her in the room on her own is just too much for me to do though.

OP posts:

Nefret · 22/02/2010 21:54

I was left in a hotel room as a child while my parents went down to the bar to have a drink but there is no way I would do it. If I couldn't take my child to dinner with me I wouldn't go.

Tras · 22/02/2010 21:58

I think it would be too much to risk. Am sure Maddy's parents locked the door and looked what happened. Think if something went wrong, you would never forgive yourself. Dont think you would enjoy yourself anyway, knowing that she was on her own upstairs.

chocolatekimmy · 22/02/2010 22:41

Think of the potential consequences - what is the worst thing (however unlikely)that could happen? (death, abduction, attack, fire, injury etc)

Now, could you live with it if it happened?

If no, don't leave her there
If yes, don't leave her there either!

I was in a hotel on Friday in Coventry and the fire alarm went off at 4pm and we had to evacuate - what would you do if that happened? You wouldn't be allowed to go up and get her or you would risk yourself doing so.

Also, how would she feel about being left alone in a strange room or waking up sick or scared.

You can't take any risks with your child and don't feel under pressure by anyone else. Just do the right thing for you both

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