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furious with Daughters BF as has cocked up our holiday!!!!!

14 replies

sashmum · 24/02/2009 16:49

Exactly that, daughters boyfriend has been caught drinking and driving, (sorry that sounds as if im only annoyed as he was caught, im not, im totally fuming he was drinking and driving in the first place!!)

thankfully my DD wasn't in the car with him at the time.

anyway we have booked to go to france camping with them and our two other DD's (aged 11), and would be taking 2 cars and sharing the driving between me, DH and BF, eldest daughter can't drive yet.

So now we are left with the dilemma of just me and DH doing all the driving not just there and back but while on hols, which would also mean that they would be reliant on us to take them around, and i think two weeks camping without being able to have a bit of time apart would be a bit much.

So do we cancel? Do we go and make the most of it, or do we just take the little ones this year and rebook for another year?

Eldest thinks we should just take the LO, and this is the most practical choice, but to be honest i am so cross as we have been planning and looking forward to this since last july, it just won't be the same to go there without them.

How could he be so stupid and risk so much, not just the holiday, which i know isn't the most important thing but his job and everything else.......aarrgghhhh

i just need to decide and then see how much it will cost to cancel, i feel like getting him to pay any costs, as it was his fault (is that mean?)

OP posts:
compo · 24/02/2009 16:50

god i wouldn't take him tbh

MissisBoot · 24/02/2009 16:52

THB - I would just take your three dd's and leave him at home. Might be a lesson for him.

How old is your eldest dd?

PortAndLemon · 24/02/2009 16:52

[sorry for flippant suggestion] perhaps a new boyfriend for your DD?

[more constructively] Go and they can rent bikes if they want to get around?

ConnorTraceptive · 24/02/2009 16:53

Not fair to your other dd's to just cancel though.

mistlethrush · 24/02/2009 16:53

Can you fit in one car without bf? If so, just take one car and then you and dh can share the driving (will work out as less). Not fair to have to drive with 2 cars everyday when you're there.

Twims · 24/02/2009 16:58

Can you bring some friends that can drive?

sashmum · 24/02/2009 17:00

Wish i could just take my 3 girls, not enough room in just one car sadly.

Eldest daughter is 23 her lovely BF is 21, normally a nice chap but the more i know him the more immature he seems, unfortunately DD is very much in love

As nice as he may be i won't be too upset if they split, that sounds horrible but i just wish she would go for a much more 'bloke', ie someone who can shave and is more of a man than the little boys she seems to go for, and they have bee living together for about 8 months,

her last BF was a complete shit, this one is nice but just very young, i just think she needs a older person

OP posts:
sashmum · 24/02/2009 17:03

if we did cancel we would rebook just somewhere else, def wouldn't let the LO's miss out

eldest dd wouldn't come without BF

god i sound like the awful MIL everyone moans about

OP posts:
solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 24/02/2009 17:04

Unfortunately, refusing to take him on holiday will be punishing your DD as much as him, which is a bit unfair. It also sounds like you are allowing your dislike of him to make you want to punish him even more for a silly mistake.

supergluebum · 24/02/2009 17:11

If they live together and presumably have to now manage without any transport, then surely this is going to put some strain on their relationship? You don't sound like a horrible MIL, just disappointed. Can you re book somewhere that public transport is readily accessible? Maybe look into DD and BF catching the train or flying and meeting you there?
Then you and DH can share the driving of one car only.

supergluebum · 24/02/2009 17:13

FWIW "boys" do stupid things at this age. A friend of mine lost his license at 19 because after an evening drinking in the pub he walked home with mates then decided to pop out for fags about an hour later and was rightfully stopped by the police. It gave him a massive reality check and is now a very nice, mature grown up!

itchyandscratchy · 24/02/2009 17:15

Don't agree necessarily with solidgold; I don't think you want to punish him and I can see your dilemma. Is there any way you could hire a people-carrier and then when you are there do as someone else suggested and let them hire bikes. Lots of people have to share their driving between 2 of them for a holiday like this but it would be a bit off if you have to act as taxi service when you get there.

Make it clear that the taxi is withdrawn unless it fits in with your own plans and see what they make of that. Will be good for him to see how inconvenient it is not being able to drive.

sashmum · 24/02/2009 17:17

im not refusing to take him on holiday, its not just my choice it's between me, my DH, my Eldest DD and her BF.

Im cross because of his actions impacting on the 'family' holday we have planned.

I don't dislike him but do feel he can be and has been very stupid, especially reguarding this drink/drive issue, he has a serious risk of losing his job which will affect my daughter as they live together.

If he does lose his job he will find it very difficult to get another as he hasn't any skills as such and without being able to drive he is more limited.

It also will cost more in future more in car ins etc and also he has now a large fine to pay, so they really can't afford the holiday

im as upset as much as she is

OP posts:
saggyhairyarse · 24/02/2009 21:23

Can you hire or borrow a bigger car to get you all there?

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