Holidays with teenagers - how can it not be hell on earth? (long!)

[lilibet]

We have always gone to France on largish campsites with Keycamps or similar. Up until last year it has worked very well. They like the freedom,

Last year ds1 was 15, ds2 was 11. Ds2 loves the kids clubs, ds1 now feels too old for them but found a group of mates with whom he could hang about around the football pitch all day (he doesn't like pools or beaches).

Problem was ds1 was staying out too late at night, it's holidays so to ground him would ruin it for everyone, regardless of the talks about ruining other people's holidays he was a totally selfish git and did just that. I couldn't go to bed and leave him wandering round the campsite, once we went looking for him but it is a bit of a needle in a haystack. There wasn't only the staying out late, he was just a really typical teenager and was a pain in the arse to be with.

We had to stay up until he came in then be up early in the morning for ds2 to get to football or where ever for ten o'clock.

This year we were contemplating a gite so that there would be no distractions for him, but now I realise that this would leave us with two very bored boys who will beat the livign daylights out of each other and a bloody great holiday bill.

We don't have a massive budget but do really need a holiday and have no one that we could leave him with.

If we take him to a campsite we can't trust him not to ruin it( and this year he can drink legally), but to not take ds2 to a campsite when he loves them so much seems really mean.

any ideas or suggestions?

Or - better still - would anyone like a teenage boy for a fortnight

No answers - but I will follow this thread with much interest! DS1 will be 17 next year, and DS2 14.

We were talking about holidays last weekend, i.e. where to go/what to do, and DS2 said "I don't want to be rude, but I'd really rather stay at home this year, and be with my friends".

DS1 said "I don't want to go for three weeks, it's too long".

Bloody spoilt brats, was my first response! The last two holidays we have had were 3 weeks in Australia and the USA, and a week in Barbados, which was, apparently, boring.

So I see your teenage boy and raise you to two!

money,

money
money.

we have had various schemes over the years - usually involve - do chores from x date - or extra chores, and ew will give you a daily monetary reward.

the extra chores were optional and therefore the did have a holiday where we had a pretty affluent kid, and a kid who was a slacker got geoff all per day.

this is great becuase in addition to them earning it - its in your pocket and you can use this as leverage.

we make rules too - like - mum and dad will buy your first drink of the evening ( cos coke canbe quite expensive) after that, you are on your own - or bring some juice and be discrete about it.

games machines and games rooms - comes out of this money, pool and internet cafe comes out of their money.

we usually tell the kids they can piss off, but we want to see them at the bar area at 8pm and then 10pm and then meet us back at the bar for hometime.

we make a rule that they have to come back to the tent at mealtimes - or else they could be gone from 9am til midnight

so noon, - this gives a chance to catch up o what they are doing - with whom and where and to nag them to put something clean on or another layer on or more suncream.

same for about 5pm

so kids, if we are on site all day, i want to see you at noon and and at 5pm.

if you dont know the time, go to the bar or to a rep and ask, there is no excuse.

in the evening i need to see you at 8,10,12
first drink is on me - then you are on your own.

you will each get xxx euro per day - or make them earn it

and this can be taken off you if you don't follow the set times. i need to know where you are - becuase if nothing else i would get a funny look if the gendarms asked me the last time i saw you, and i answered "8 hours ago"

Hoped you would appear Custy!

But what do you so when they don't appear, when they don't come back at midnight?

i'd go looking for them - on the park area get dh to carry him back as he would be passed out

then tell him the next day - he lost his money.

Not got teenagers myself but Custardo has a similar attitude to my Mum... she docked money for every 5 mins we were late for meals or curfew and brought the next days curfew forward by 30 mins!

oh and when I was 16 she swore that if I didnt improve my attitude I would spend the next holiday with my grandmother ( a harridan who threw her stick at you for "dumb insolence" and lived in a warden controlled flat miles from anywhere)

Problem there is that he has a part time job and therefore his own money.

Would love to leave him with grandparents but there is only my mum who is 82 and couldn't cope with a teenager

I told dh what I had put and he couldn't beleive how I had underestimated hsi behaviour!!

I don't know what to suggest lillibet - my sister was an obnoxious grot when she was a teenager - she actually climbed out of the window in the night and didn't come back for a day! (She's fine and lovely now).
Is there anything you can find that is an incentive ... taking computer games but depriving him if he misbehaves? Fun trips that HE choses to do on the understanding that he plays fair? A pre-holiday contract with penalties when he returns home if he plays up?
Or maybe just leave him at home? If he's going to be that bad? (or will you have no home to come back to?)