Please help me make a checklist for a 20-year-old’s first flight & holiday to Spain

[Herbace]

’my 20 year old is going on first holiday alone with friend to youth hostel in Spain beginning of July. As a family we have only had one holiday out of the uk (unfortunately covid and health problems meant no flying ) this was when he was toddler so he has no experience at all of finding his way in an airport, being in a plane , checking in and so on . I’ve advised him to check with airline for what can go in bags etc but he’s reluctant to find out more . Please help me to make an essential checklist, it’s been many years since I have been in a plane and I’m feeling pretty useless right now as a parent.

@likewhatyoudo Your advice really depends on which airport and which airline. Gatwick and Heathrow allow up to 2 litres but Spanish airports you’d need to check. But you can take liquids up to 2 litres and then use the while there. Also, for easyJet you can check in 30 days in advance.

OPyiur child is 20 - let them get on with it and stop babying them.

What do you mean by this please?

Along with a paper print out of insurance details, I included a list of telephone numbers for myself, DH and other relatives, plus a small wallet of cash, which was just as well, as my Son got mugged and lost his phone and his cards.

He’ll be fine. Check his passport is in date and undamaged. If he’s hand luggage only, check the dimensions and weight allowance. Make sure he’s at the airport with at least 3 hours to go. Tell him to get insurance. That’s vital.

He’s 20 and going to Spain. He doesn’t need a checklist, nor does he need mummy telling him what to do!

Your adult daughter needs to do this herself. She has google surely? You’re depriving her of life skills and she’ll be the kind to call mummy at every difficulty.

Has he asked you to advise him on this?? He’s 20 and going with a friend, it will be good for him to experience this and figure it out by himself.

I can only assume that you are getting yourself in a flap over him going abroad meanwhile he is very relaxed and your probably getting on his nerves.

leave him to it , I’m confident he will know to take his phone , passport and wallet - anything he forgets he can buy when he gets there if needs be .

@Marmalade71

Remember nothing with a li-ion battery can go in the hold.

That's a safe default but it not universally true. Rules differ across airlines so it's worth checking airline Terms of Carriage.

It's individual batteries not retained in devices and power packs that are the problem.

He is an adult he need to make the list himself. You can check it after and amend it… but don’t make your grown son a list, he needs to do things for himself otherwise he will just be an absolute drain on any woman he gets involved with because he will expect this from them.

Also, forgetting something important on your first holiday is kind of a life learning moment. When I was 17 in Magaluf I forgot my glasses… I still have some wonderful (but blurry) memories.

Sunglasses
sun cream
condoms
travel insurance
phone charger
plug adaptors

He will be fine. Agree with PP. He is too old to be babied. I would expect he’s used ChatGPT to make his own list and would appreciate you backing off.

Exactly
my boys are very widely travelled; and have all gone without me in the past

but when DS3 asks my advice because his flight for a job had a Heathrow flight change I freely gave it.
he’s 19, I didn’t tell him to ‘go and look at google because I don’t baby grown men’ the horrors, I also asked him to call me at Heathrow to confirm all was ok and he was in the right place for the connecting flight

OP is probably excited for him herself, she is showing an interest and maybe a little bit of fear

OP I would research all this, it is airport dependent. Then if he asks you have the information , if he doesn’t ask you can frame it as a checklist that HE has got everything in order

that way he takes responsibility, you show you appreciate he’s an adult, but you can manage your own anxiety

Take a little bit of cash - we were in the Mediteranean when all the card/applepay etc stopped working last year. We’ve been going for years and never spend a single physical euro usually - lesson learnt from a day with no way to pay for anything!

Take a photo of passport and a photocopy - if it got lost it’s good to have a copy.
Insurance
plug adaptors/chargers etc
plenty of time at the airport
anything else you can buy there if desperate!

When my DD flew by herself for the first time she was uncertain what to do as she approached check in as she had no actual ticket. Normally I just gave the passports to the member of staff but she hadn't noticed. Anyway, remind DS to just hand over his passport and the check in staff will do everything. Or if it is self check in just scan the passport. As long as he has bought a ticket of course!

Crikey I wasn’t expecting some of these comments! My son is an adult who works full time but as I mentioned has not traveled by air as a child and has in mind that Manchester airport is along the lines of a bus station .

Haven’t even read the post.

if your adult son can’t figure it out then he shouldn’t be flying abroad.

id say that to him.

This.

I appreciate that some posters may feel I am being a helicopter parent, he is neurodiverse and a list rather than conversation can be easier to process.
Thankyou for your comments, they are very helpful.

My very frequent flier kids managed to miss their flight because they didn’t give themselves enough time to get to the gate - they didn’t realise it closed half an hour before flight time, because normally I’m with them and I say ‘let’s head to the gate’.
Your YP should try and pack everything into a carry on which will make life a lot easier. They won’t need much (if they are going for longer than a couple weeks they can find a laundrette). Liquids are the issue with carry ons so look at whatever airport they are leaving from as some have relaxed the 100ml rule. They can take travel size shampoo etc.
Passport, money and phone are the essentials (plus any required medication) - they could lose everything else but these so carrying them in a secure way (not back pocket) should be worked out. Petty crime in tourist areas are hit spots so they need to take care - do not have the phone lying on the table at a café for example, and do not fall for any distraction techniques.

Remind them about drugs - don’t take any and certainly not stuff that’s just given to them. Spain do have private ‘clubs’ where you can buy marijuana - many tourists become ‘members’ so they can smoke there. But smoking outside of the home is illegal and they shouldn’t risk it no matter how deserted some beach appears.
Most of all they should agree to have each others backs. And use sunscreen!

As for people saying ‘let him figure it out’ - wow. Why let someone fumble about when a few pointers could help them? 20 year olds don’t think like adults even if they are legally. And even so, does not the tragedy of Micheal Mosley remind all that even highly intelligent and experienced travellers make mistakes?
I would add to his list the phone number of the police, the hostel and emergency services.

Hi OP my husband was a back packer ( I was not ) so he has introduced me to some practices I might not otherwise know. We would always take some local currency in cash but he would split it up and stash it in different places. You can get belts with a little zipped compartment on the inside and it might be worth tucking a couple of notes in there. ( I don’t mean money belts they just look like webbing belts). If he’s in a shared dorm then I try and dissuade him from taking expensive tech with him ( iPads etc ) and to think about the security of his passport. ( have a photo of it on his phone ) That’s all I wanted to add.

I hope he has a fantastic time - fingers crossed it all goes well.

When it comes to the airport side of this is one of the probs with a checklist is that when it comes to aspects such as where passports are presented, security and gate closures vary massively..

If the checklist doesn't then fit the reality on the day there's scope for stress on the day for the individual who is travelling...

So for example sometimes generic advice such as "keep checking the departures boards once through security" might be better than a checklist item saying "get to the gate no later than XXXX hours", especially if the flight runs late.

Good grief, I am also neurodiverse and I'd only just turned 21 when I packed a bag and moved to Spain.

You can tell him to make sure he's checked in, his passport is well in date and he has travel insurance booked, and you can drop him off at the correct terminal, but if he's capable of organising a holiday with his mates, he's capable of navigating an airport.

To be fair to the OP and her son, a lot of this may seem obvious to people who are used to international travel but if you have never gone by plane anywhere, then it is actually not that simple.

My 20 year old dd has also travelled alone half way across the world, BUT she travelled with me since she was a baby so feels very comfortable with it.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/foreign-travel-checklist

https://www.qantas.com/travelinsider/en/travel-tips/international-travel-checklist-tips.html

(others are available)