Am I in the wrong

[MumDSDD]

A while back a family holiday was booked for us and our children and in-laws, due to personal reasons myself and husband can no longer go,
my in-laws have asked if they can still take the children aged 9 and 3 my husband thinks it’s fine but personally he don’t feel comfortable with it, my in-laws have never taken the children away, they only really see the children round our house, they don’t ask to have them over there house or for sleepovers, if they go on a day out the only take one at a time, also my one of my children is currently going though an autism assessment and he has very certain ways about him, which I don’t feel the in-laws understand,
I really don’t feel comfortable with the situation but my husband is very laid back and just keeps saying they will be fine, this statement really infuriates me as how do you know it will be fine,
whats your thoughts, am I being unreasonable

I think 3 is a little young to go away with Grandparents by themselves. How long is the holiday for?

You’re not unreasonable, and three year olds can be a handful. The older child will be more independent

Is the holiday in the UK or abroad?

Could you do sleepovers leading up to the holiday? Gave you ever stayed at their house? Maybe all stay, and then they stay by themselves?

@ThatGoldLeaderit will be Monday to Friday

They need to do regular sleepovers and maybe a weekend or two at GP before this can be realistically considered.

Definitely fine for the 9 year old, and bearing in mind only Monday to Friday I think prob ok for both provided the 3 year old is toilet trained and doesn’t have terrible behavior.

3 is a bit young and I hear you about grandparents sometimes not understanding how to deal with an autistic child. I would be very wary, but it depends on how long the holiday is for and where it is too.

The holiday is now only 2 weeks away so not much time for sleepovers plus they have nothing at there house as in no where for the kids to sleep, my eldest used to stay there before our second came along but that stopped 6 years ago and they havnt really welcomed the children to stay at there house since

Is it the nine year old or the three year old who is being assessed?

Like other posters have said, try a weekend with the GPS first. The last thing you want is to have to drive to holiday destination to collect your dcs esp if one is possibly on the spectrum and GPS not able to cope with that.

Oh cross post with yr update. Then my answer would be no, yanbu. I too was going to ask which one is being assessed but actually it doesn't matter. They could both be a handful in different ways if GPs not able to understand at this point.

The 3 year old is well behaved and toilet trained, my concern is more the grandparents only look after / spend time with both the children in the space of our house and the children’s comfortable place, and if they take them out it’s one at a time for a couple of hours,
this will be for 4 days

Is there anyway to do it for a night or two or for one parent to accompany them? It very much depends on your individual circumstances I know.

The 9 year old

Yeah…I probably wouldn’t then. I was wondering if just the nine-year old could go. I have an autistic child and he has the kindest grandparents but they don’t understand autism.

Is it far? Could they do one night and you pick the dc up the next day?

Can neither of you and your DH go? Or could one of you go along?

If it’s in the UK, so you could go and scoop them up if needed then I’d say yes.

If abroad, definitely not.

yea it’s taken a long time for even school to understand my son as he spends his days masking but with grandparents they struggle to understand him and his ways, which is what concerns me if he was away with them, they also have this laid back attitude of oh it will be fine, infuriates the life out of me 🤦‍♀️

Is it in the UK? If so I’d be ok with it knowing you can pick them up if need be. Harder if abroad.

How far away? Could either of you go part of the week and bring them home early if needs be?

It’s only 4 days, let them go, it will be fine