What would you do?

[Oohoohoohhoney]

Firstly, I want to say that I appreciate that we are in a fortunate position.

We have 3 DC, all 7 and under. My DH's family do a yearly summer holiday. They hire a house abroad, usually in the middle of nowhere, and spend the time going between house and pool and not much else. We went last year and a year a few years ago. DH and I don't particularly enjoy it as we feel caged (we've already researched things nearby and there's very little). DC love it as they spend time with their cousins, building dens and do loads of swimming - a child's dream!

DH and I prefer a bit of adventure and autonomy for the kids. We went camping before and, although it was hard work for us, it was great to see the kids in that environment, cycling around the campsites as we set up, exploring new places etc.

We don't have much money or annual leave, so it would be one or the other. Part of the problem is that the kids are now older and aware of what they would be missing out on (DH's family will not keep it quiet). So it feels a bit like the decision is between their preference and ours. My DH thinks we should do our own thing - if we're happier they'll be happier, ultimately. But part of me feels like we'll be costing them such joyful memories with cousins.

WWYD?

Can the compromise not be a be villa with pool that is nearer other activities and everyone gets what they want?

I'd take turns. One year the big family holiday with all the cousin, the next year just your immediate family.

Or I'd try and make both work. For example joining the family for a week (or a few days) and then driving down to a campsite for a week (or a few days).

Could you do the villa holiday and camping as well? Use the May bank holidays or the August one to do a UK camp even if you’ve no annual leave left?

Thanks for your replies

Sadly, DH's family don't do compromise so the isolated villa is booked. It's part of what they like, the fact that it's in the middle of nowhere. They go abroad for the weather only, really!

It involves flights, car hire - so going for a week is not far off the cost of going for 2 (since DH's family pay for the house).

It's not really possible to take all the camping stuff on a plane, so we can't do a week of each there. The only possibility would be to do a bit of camping in the UK, though our preference would be France (if we didn't spend on going to the family holiday at all).

It needn't be "full" camping? You could book a euro camp style place for your own week and stay in one of their caravan type accommodation?

I have been in this situation and it’s a real shame there can be no comprise as the are lots of villas available that would offer both. In our case the big joint holidays stopped rather than sensible compromise which was sad.

The compromise for you would be to maybe as mentioned do alternate years. As I can see the advantages of both types of holiday.

From you and DH prospective is there anything you could do to make the villa holiday better for you?

Is there anywhere in the area you could hire bikes?

I’d alternate going one year then another?

Your DC are quite young, by the time they’re tweens/teens they might be bored of that type of holiday and want to do something else?

I sympathise- our in laws do something very similar in their home country. I work remotely for some of it so I feel less frustrated at wasting my annual leave. DH finds it equally boring so at least we are on the same page and know it’s for DC’s benefit.

Could you leave you children there for a few days and go off and do something just the two of you? Sounds like there are plenty of adults.

Thanks all, it's sad but nice to hear of other people feeling similarly. Thanks for some great ideas - eurocamp, bikes , alternate years. We could leave the older 2 but not really the youngest...we'll see, there's food for thought, for sure!