Struggling with death but trying to be normal

[Xmasxrackers]

So this Boxing Day my mum will have been gone 3 years. She was a very big part of my life. The last few years we had spent the day at home and had a quiet one with the children. This year I said DH if maybe we could invite his family over for a few nibbles and drinks etc for a little catch up (I have no family now). When DH suggested to MIL she completely railroaded and we are now going to their larger house for the evening and having a party type thing with all the extended family. I feel so anxious and panicky about it. I probably sound mad, but I’m worried about getting emotional in front of everyone and don’t feel comfortable doing that. I figured having it at ours meant I could pop upstairs and have 5 minutes to gather myself. Am I being silly? Please tell me if I am! Is anyone else struggling with loss this time of year?

Hello,
Sorry for the loss of your mum. I don't think you're being silly at all, I think your MIL is probably thinking she's helping you by inviting you to hers. Does she live local to you? Could you just pop round for a short time and then back to yours so you're not overwhelmed. Or, could you chat to your MIL in advance and let her know you're struggling and say you might find it difficult

Sorry I pressed send too soon!

I mean, if you explain how you feel to her she may suggest coming to your place instead. It must be very hard this time of year I am so sorry 😓

It's a difficult time of year for you, and I'm so sorry you've lost your Mum.
I'm sure it will be OK for you to slip upstairs for a few minutes if you need to at your MiL's house.
Maybe you could explain to MiL that you find Boxing Day hard,( presumably she knows why) and that you might need to slip out of the room to take a moment. Or better still ,get DH to tell her. Or just leave the room, if it's busy it probably won't even be noticed, you don't actually have to explain your every movement.

i’m so sorry for your loss. i agree with others and explain how you feel. huge hug to you x

I’m sorry OP it sounds v tough. I would ask MN to move this to Chat or Bereavement as you’ll get more help than this topic which is about travel.

See this as an opportunity to move on and celebrate with people while they're still around

Everyone handles death differently. I lost my Dad mid December and though that first year was difficult I had no issues after that.
Maybe have a signal with your partner if things become overwhelming and he can take you outside for a few minutes.