Sharing the cost of a holiday home with family

[Erin505]

Myself and two of my sisters are looking at hiring a holiday home to share for a week.

The one we like we have used before but it is really too big for this holiday. It has 7 bedrooms. They hoped some of their grown up kids could come and we have a school age child.

It's turned out that theirs can't come.

My sister's say the fairest way to split the cost is pay for the rooms we use and pay a third each for the four empty rooms. I said that is fair for the 7th room (split the cost) but surely we should all commit to pay for 2 rooms each.

The reason for this is none of us want or will use more than a third of the rooms but all will share the space. I'm not sure why I should pay more than a third of the cost given I'm not going to use more than a third of the space. If their kids were coming as hoped they would be paying for those rooms. If i or one of the others wanted more than 2 rooms we would pay for the third room.

Basically they've said "we don't want these rooms now so you've got to pay towards them. I'm like "hang on, I didn't want them, it's not my fault your kids aren't coming, we get a smaller house (if 4 bed I'd pay a half the cost or if a 5 bed I'll pay for two rooms and a third for the unused room as nobody can be wholly responsible for the odd rooms, but if 6 then we should again all pay a third and take responsibility for a third of the rooms each.

I'm not sure why I should pay towards what I see is their share of the house cost when I'm not using more than "my" two rooms?

It's caused a big argument as they say they always do it like that with friends but I pointed out their house shares never end up with as many or more spare/unused rooms than partners in the house share so this scenario never occurs.

Just to say I tried explaining it with chocolate bars instead of rooms.

Nobody can eat or own less than a whole bar, it has to be chucked away. The invoice is for 7 bars and the three of us have to pay for them. None of the three of us want more than 2 bars - I want one for me and one for my child. My sister's only want one each, but want me to pay a third for each of the three other unused ones. I'm like "no, we pay for two each, just because you only want to eat one, you want the free holiday home for the week that comes only when you buy 7 bars of chocolate. I'll pay a third of the 7th bar but if you want the holiday home then pay for your two whole bars each because I don't want them and it's only fair that you pay for your share too."

Is it already booked ? If not surely the simplest thing to do is find a smaller rental.

I think you just choose somewhere smaller.

Hi and thanks for the replies. It's exactly what I said at the start "it's too big".

The one sister who is really digging her heels in says "but it's a great house and is perfectly located" So I've said ok then we won't go. Sadly that's where it's got to as I just feel it will be an atmosphere regardless now and as the youngest I'm always seen to be the unreasonable one.

How much extra is it to pay? Only you can decide if it’s worth to fall out.

I think when you’re really underoccupying the space then it should just be split equally. It’s not as though anyone is using more than their “share” of rooms by doing that, as you’re all effectively paying for 2 and 1/3 rooms but using 1 or 2.

They can use their extra room for luggage space.

What's the price difference between the 2 suggested ways of paying and how many people per family are going on the trip? Is the saving of doing it your way worth this big argument and/or cancelling the holiday?

That’s a lot of words OP, but how many adults are going and how old are any kids that are going and who’s sharing with who?

Say if that place is where they want to stay, they can stay there and pay for it all. You will book somewhere smaller nearby for your party.

Hopefully she will see the light!

Why don’t you take the cost of the holiday home and divide it into 3, each sister pays 1/3.

The alternatives are find somewhere smaller, stay in a hotel instead or just don’t bother!

Invite another family?

There are 7 rooms. Let's say the holiday is £700

OP wants 2 rooms = £200
Sister A wants 1 room = £100
Sister B = £100

So choice sisters want
The extra £300 should be split 3 ways. I.e add £100 to everyone
Total now split £300/£200/£200

OP wants the £300 to be split two ways
So OP pays £200
And each sister pays £250.

Why can't it just be that everyone pays £233?

Or OP pays £250 and sisters pay £225.

But you are not just paying for bedrooms are you? Would you all be benefiting from bigger/better lounge, kitchen diner, outside space etc., and more bathrooms than in a smaller property?

Thanks for all the replies.

Like all things there is a history here.

I'm the youngest and the sister whose really been quite strong against me (told me I was making demands?!) has always been quite dismissive of me, although she would deny it. When we have done this before, the rooms have been allocated by older sister and I've never had an ensuite room, I'd just like a discussion on what rooms there are and who has which but it obviously feels like I don't have a say.

The cost difference isn't great between her suggestion and mine but it meant me paying more and her paying less and once again I felt it was her way or no way and this time I just decided I'd had enough and was going to stand my ground.

It does sound very petty I know. But I'm fed up of being treated like the child that didn't have a say many years ago.

In answer to other questions - three couples, they both have grown up kids who are adults, mine is 12. My thinking is if one of their adult kids came they wouldn't take a share in the cost of empty rooms (wouldn't expect them to) but they would take their mum and dad's second room and it would be between them if they paid them anything, either way it wouldn't affect me or the other sister.

No we aren't just paying for bedrooms and would all benefit from the extra space in the property that is why I feel a straight thirds each was ok.

Re "invite another family" it's a family (siblings) gathering not a general holiday so that's why.

Thanks again for all the answers. Just to.clarify I don't feel I should pay more, we should pay a third each. I will need two bedrooms but I don't see I should pay a third of the cost of their unused ones. In the £700 example I'd pay £300 and they would pay £200 and I just feel that's unfair given I'm not occupying more than a third of the rooms.

just pull out of the holiday like their kids did. They can pay 50/50 then.

Sadly that's what we have done. To be fair their adult kids weren't in on it as partners (I think of the three of us as partners, equal committment and equal share unless one or other needs more than a third). But equally in my mind there was an expectation in my mind that we would share the load and share the bedrooms fairly.

I’m a bit confused, you said there’d be 4 empty rooms but there are 3 couples plus your son, so surely only 3 empty rooms?

So It’s all sorted now and you aren’t going?

Im on your side OP. With siblings I think actually just divide it equally between the three for the accommodation! Then maybe you pay a bit more for food etc to cover your child.

Sorry, yes three empty rooms. The issue isn't "well just pay for an empty room each then" as I'm then paying for three rooms and they pay for two. The issue is them saying I only want one room so I'm only paying for one plus a third of the others" when I'm saying "it's two rooms each plus a third of the other one as I'm not using more than two rooms.

It's more far reaching than that. I've always had the less desirable rooms, treated like my opinion is less important, treated like I'm still a child. So this was a bit of a stand "no I'm not having it again" and this was the outcome.

In this case it seems a little like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Is now really the time to try one up them? Only you can answer that, I'm not saying you are wrong, just getting you to consider whether or not this is the hill to die on.

Sadly yes, but this post was really to sanity check "am I totally wrong here" but the poll so far seems to indicate I'm not

No you definitely wasn’t and it’s good you pulled out, now they can pay for the massive house they wanted.

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