Husband deciding to change dream holiday he wanted in the first place

[Mama211609]

Hi so back story my husband and i living in uk decided to book a last minute holiday for about 8 weeks time with our 3 children......i thought canary islands for some winter sun to which he said no its too cold, so he looked further a field and finally decided on thailand a place he had been before... i looked into it for a couple of days and thought great and booked it ,myself and the kids ecstatic paid for can i just say predominantly by myself i then also booked/and paid for airport parking ,passports a hotel the night before and travel insurance...for 2 nights later him to decided he had a funny feeling and wanted to change the holiday and demanded i ring the travel company and rebook to somewhere else. I empathised with him as he worries about flying etc but to days later him being in a total mood with me not speaking as i had not yet rang said travel company to which i absolutely lost it please tell me i am not stupid for getting so mad when he was the one that wanted said holiday in the first place????

I would cancel the holiday as he insists (assuming you can get refunds on everything), then I would tell him it is up to him to sort out an alternative given all the time he made you waste. No way would I have anything more to do with holiday booking in the immediate future.
If you can’t get refunds, I’d give him all the booking details and tell him to do whatever he wants - rebook, cancel and lose some money, leave it and go anyway (at least you three), his choice.

edited to add I just saw you paid for most of it - if he wants to cancel then, if you can’t get a refund he needs to agree to pay you back. Otherwise I would go with my girls without him.

Go without him. Don’t lose a holiday and a load of money because he’s a sulky twat.

Oh, OP, just go away with your kids yourself. The man child can join you if he wants:

if he is that scared of flying (despite insisting on Thailand in opposition to your much shorter canaries flight idea) then he can unpick the bookings and rebook the holiday for you all.

You arent seriously considering going along with his latest whim are you? Please get some self respect.

YANBU! Just go with your kids and leave the giant, sulking baby at home.

He also just to add decided it was unsafe for children and felt uneasy about taking them despite going himself and nearly every other person we know whos been saying how safe they felt etc

Sounds nuts. We are in Thailand and it’s fine. Maybe he is worried about the travel warnings to the Cambodia border but that is clearly very isolated and assumedly you are going to a tourist areas like Phuket.

He has messed you about deliberately and I’d go on holiday without him.

Do you really want to remain married to such a man?. He giving you the silent treatment (as a result of his messing about demanding changes)is abusive in nature.

I would tell him to stop being ridiculous but also the same if this was reversed and a woman said 'I know we have booked the holiday but I have a feeling, we need to cancel'

I would happily go without him and would expect my husband to do the same if I decided it on a 'feeling'

Go without him. You can't get refunds for most or all of it and he's being ridiculous. Thailand is stunning and very safe.

Thailand is fine with kids. Go without him and maybe transfer his ticket to a friend who is willing to come and help with the kids.

I would have zero patience with that sort of shit. I would say fine, you don't have to come, but I'm going. If you insist the kids don't go then you'll be looking after them at home because I'll be in Thailand.

No way would I cancel or change anything, particularly after he talked you round to HIS choice and YOU paid.

He's even been before so he can't be that scared of flying or worried about safety.

Don't miss out - Thailand is amazing and the kids will love it!

I doubt very much that it’s changeable, if so where would you go? Is it a term time holiday? Have you factored in fines?

my husabnd broke me down with this kind of stress and shit - I went into psychosis

He's clearly struggling with anxiety now it's booked. I would call them and see if it can be changed, if not I would plan take the children without him and give him some time to come round to the idea. He may end up deciding to go with you. Thailand is perfectly safe (as you know), I've been with my kids even when they were pretty small.