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Original poster

First Family Holiday A Nightmare...

32 replies

ladybird30 · 10/10/2025 19:07

It's our first family holiday abroad with our 2.5 yo DS. I wasn't massively up for booking it, I'll be honest. Toddlers + holiday for me is a recipe for disaster but my OH was adamant we "needed the break"

The reality is, as I expected, we're having a rubbish time... We've been here 3 days and have managed to have a fall out or a generally rubbish day every single day so far... I'm tearing my hair out. I feel x10 more stressed than I would if we were home doing the usual.

It's left me wondering if our relationship is actually just utterly awful..? Or is it just the situation we're in right now, I don't know. I just want to get on plane back home already...

Is this a normal experience of holidays with a toddler? Every other family with kids a similar age seem to be having the nicest time...

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 10/10/2025 19:09

What's the issue, your DS or your DH?

Autisticburnouthell · 10/10/2025 19:09

Which parts are stressful?

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 10/10/2025 19:10

What are you trying to do and why is it stressful? With that age we just stayed by the swimming pool, tired them out then nap in the pushchair so I had 60mins to read a book and sit in peace and quiet. Make sure there is a good kids pool and mine would play in the shallow water whilst I watched

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 10/10/2025 19:16

DH wanted this, so how about you just wander off somewhere alone & let him cope with "the break" ?

CountryQueen · 10/10/2025 19:17

It sounds like you expected stress, and as a result it’s stressful? You’re on holiday, relax, take it in turns to spend the afternoons either DS and the other can have a couple of hours relaxing in the sun. Spend the mornings and evenings together.

What are you trying to do that’s so stressful?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/10/2025 19:17

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 10/10/2025 19:16

DH wanted this, so how about you just wander off somewhere alone & let him cope with "the break" ?

I agree

Original poster
ladybird30 · 10/10/2025 19:17

@Justmuddlingalong I think more so my partner to be honest... Im very used to caring for DS as I'm a SAHM so the majority of that I can deal with. DS has been a bit of a nightmare with climbing things and running around but I also understand he's 2 and they're full of energy and curiosity.

My partner is quite short fused and I find that difficult to constantly watch and hear I think... It gets my back up and we end up with a weird negative atmosphere

OP posts:
DappledThings · 10/10/2025 19:19

My partner is quite short fused and I find that difficult to constantly watch and hear I think... It gets my back up and we end up with a weird negative atmosphere
So not really a holiday problem then but a generally difficult and unhelpful partner and father.

CountryQueen · 10/10/2025 19:19

ladybird30 · 10/10/2025 19:17

@Justmuddlingalong I think more so my partner to be honest... Im very used to caring for DS as I'm a SAHM so the majority of that I can deal with. DS has been a bit of a nightmare with climbing things and running around but I also understand he's 2 and they're full of energy and curiosity.

My partner is quite short fused and I find that difficult to constantly watch and hear I think... It gets my back up and we end up with a weird negative atmosphere

Ah. That’s nothing to do with being on holiday then is it?

Original poster
ladybird30 · 10/10/2025 19:20

@oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends He has this evening. I told him I wasn't going out for dinner as a family as I'd specifically said this morning can we please just have a nice day and of course, that didn't happen. I wasn't going to go out to dinner sat there feeling uncomfortable all evening because my OH has lost his patience again and is sulking...

OP posts:
Original poster
ladybird30 · 10/10/2025 19:23

@CountryQueen @DappledThings I suppose not, no... I think because he works so much I probably haven't seen him in a setting where we spend so much time together before... At home I only really see him from around 7pm every evening and on the occasional day off.

I think being on holiday has made me worry that things aren't as I think they are, if that makes sense?

OP posts:
DontCallMeLenYouLittleBollix · 10/10/2025 21:10

I imagine your partner is also gradually working through the realisation that he was idiotic to think a holiday abroad with a 2.5 year old could be any kind of break, and that the money has been spaffed up the wall. Even when they're fun, there's no relaxation.

CountryQueen · 10/10/2025 21:21

DontCallMeLenYouLittleBollix · 10/10/2025 21:10

I imagine your partner is also gradually working through the realisation that he was idiotic to think a holiday abroad with a 2.5 year old could be any kind of break, and that the money has been spaffed up the wall. Even when they're fun, there's no relaxation.

That’s just not true. You can have a nicer, more relaxing time on holiday with kids.

But not if one of the adults sulks and gets grumpy.

DontCallMeLenYouLittleBollix · 10/10/2025 21:51

CountryQueen · 10/10/2025 21:21

That’s just not true. You can have a nicer, more relaxing time on holiday with kids.

But not if one of the adults sulks and gets grumpy.

Show quote history

'Nice' and 'relaxing' are not at all synonymous. I've loved all my holidays with toddlers, and one of mine was very much a climber too, but they were fun in a different way to the one OPs OH clearly thought he was getting. It's not a realistic expectation of a holiday abroad with a 2.5 year old. Unfortunately some people have to learn that lesson the hard way.

pumpkinscake · 10/10/2025 22:07

Ate you in s hotel or an apartment? What's the stressful bit?

Denim4ever · 10/10/2025 22:19

2-2.5 is not a bad time to get DC used to holidays. It was our first attempt at beach circa 2 and that was no fun. Paris was fine around same age, likewise Italian city break out of season. Before 2 we did holiday cottages and took GPs

JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome · 11/10/2025 06:49

How are you spending the days? At that age we took our DDs to a villa in the canaries and took it in turns to be in the pool with them. We went to the beach. There were moments for sure but I have happy memories.

Original poster
ladybird30 · 11/10/2025 09:52

@DontCallMeLenYouLittleBollix I think you're right. I think he expected everyone to be overly grateful and over joyed that we were away and of course I'm grateful but a 2 year old has zero concept of it all and I do think he's a bit pissed about spending the money. And also that it's another 'told you so' moment (we seem to have a lot of those...)

OP posts:
youalright · 11/10/2025 09:56

We have took our toddlers on holiday before never again. Under 1 great over 4 fine that gap in between not a chance

Overthebow · 11/10/2025 10:06

What sort of holiday are you on? I have young DC and the holidays we do at the moment are very children focused, so things like all inclusive family resorts with splash parks and kids entertainment, and Bluestone in Wales. Activities are kid focused so farm parks, beach and pool days, play parks, early family dinner, children’s disco and games. We won’t attempt something different until they’re older as it’s not worth the stress.

FairKoala · 11/10/2025 10:14

Is the reason your dh is pissed off also because instead of relaxing by the pool your dh has to do something like follow his two year old around or because he has to watch you follow dc around and doesn’t have your full attention

Also is your dh so used to having people listen to him and do as they are told but he can’t get his mind round the fact a 2 year old isn’t going to treat him with similar reverence and obedience

TeamGeriatric · 11/10/2025 10:39

Definitely sounds like it's mostly a partner problem. I've travelled lots with both our kids, who are well past the toddler stage now, but we travelled regularly when they were small too. Package beach holidays are not really our thing, but we explored lots of places with them, which I have fond memories of. Holidays were probably easier in my eyes, as it was normally me with 2 kids all day and on holiday you've suddenly got another adult to share the responsibility and I got more of a break. Maybe I'm remembering with rose tinted glasses.

OneNewLeader · 11/10/2025 10:48

I didn’t always love holidays with toddlers, because of the additional risk assessments involved. But, we did them and I’m really glad. We knew what they liked and planned holidays around their needs with some activities for adults, that they learnt how to tolerate. I love cities and culture, they liked beaches and activities. We usually found a compromise. Use this opportunity as a learning experience, plan the next holiday accordingly.

Moltenpink · 11/10/2025 11:21

There may be a middle ground here, eg toddler play time followed by a walk and drink with child in buggy with an iPad for half an hour.

Original poster
ladybird30 · 12/10/2025 07:29

@fairkoala Yes I think so. He's not use to FT parenting at all and theres always been a little bit of jealousy which he has admitted previously. But yes, he planned all of this with rose tinted glasses and thought it'd be all skipping hand in hand.

He mentioned going on holiday next summer, I just laughed!

OP posts: