Too scared to go on hols with DC's! Please help!

[oneplusone]

DC's are DD 5 and DS 2. DD is fine, usually well behaved, will listen to reason etc so I am confident about taking her on a flight somewhere. It's DS I'm worried about, he is an energetic, inquisitive little boy, into investigating and exploring everything. He's also a fussy eater and he does NOT listen to reason and is only starting to talk in sentences.

Anyway, I am just worried about taking a flight somewhere, arriving at a strange destination where we have no idea where things are etc and I feel the whole 'holiday' will not be a holiday at all but just stress abroad as opposed to stress at home. Then there's the possibility of the DC's being ill etc etc.

My cousin whose DC's are 9 and 5 goes away regularly and even she said that the last holiday the took was the only one so far where she actually felt she had a break. And that's the point, I feel I need the holiday for me (and DH of course) rather than the DC's whose whole life is a holiday really!

Can anyone reassure me? Is it not as bad as I'm imagining?

I was really worried before I took ds1 on his first flight. we opted for a really shorthaul flight of about 2 hours and he didn't seem to really notice we were in a plane. At the other end we queued for nearly three hours to pick up our hire car (prepaid or would have junked it). My stress levels went through the roof but dh kept ds busy by running round the airport with him (I was six months pregnant). Will your partner be going on the hol/ is there another adult who can come with you so the child /adult ratio is good? Anyway the holiday was fantastic we all really loved it and tho the journey was a little stressful at times, we survived and will do it again just as soon as we can.

Take some food onto the plane so he can have stuff he likes en route. Pack some of his favourites if you think food will be a problem where you're going.

Many people don't go on foreign holidays for a variety of reasons. Flying is a pain with kids and all their stuff, and is pretty un-environmentally friendly too. There are loads of great places in the UK you can get to by car - can you look into that?

Make sure you have everything you'll need if they are ill - oral rehydrating stuff for diarrhoea, Calpol etc. And treat it all as a great adventure - make "looking for the shop that sells milk and bread" into a game. Bring lots of distractions for the flight and have a think about what would be good to have when you're waiting around for luggage/at check-in etc. IT WILL BE FINE - if you're relaxed, they will be relaxed.

Thanks all. Bramshott, I would actually prefer to stay in the UK but what about the weather! DH will be coming too, and he has 2 weeks booked off work in August. At the moment we are thinking of either Eurodisney for a couple of nights or going to the south coast for a week or so. Am waiting on the weather really and will probably book fairly last minute, I just cannot seem to get my head round booking things months in advance, it's just not me!

Think we'll leave going abroad til next year or even the year after.

Have you considered driving to France? If you get an earlyish ferry crossing or the tunnel, you can be half way down the west coast of France by about 6 or 7 in the evening, including plenty of stops on the way.

Gites can be quite inexpensive, often have pools, and as you have your own car with you, you can drive for days out, or to the coast when you want. The Charente-Maritime area of France has a climate as good as the South of France and some fantastic beaches.

We did this for our first three holidays with ds, before flying for the first time when he was 4.

Try these websites:

www.holiday-rentals.co.uk
www.frenchconnections.co.uk

Mark Twain is quoted as saying "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover".
Now I'm sure he didn't have small children with him but I feel the sentiments still apply - We took our 4 children around the world for 6 months never having been abroad with them before. I spent so long weighing up the what if's, but's and maybees and seeing so many negatives and I sobbed away saying goodbye to everyone thinking what the hell are we doing. However, we had a brilliant time - a few mishaps but thats what makes an adventure. It doesn't really matter where you are in the world, its the quality time you are having with your family that counts. Travelling with kids is never restful but sometimes a change is as good as a rest as they say ( I've no idea who they are!!). Hope you do get to "sail away from the safe harbour" when you are ready to.

Do you need to go abroad? Children that age are quite happy on a beach even if the weather is poor and you have to put on wellies and coats.I would take the stress out of it and just get in the car and self- cater somewhere not too far away. It also saves money. I see, having started this, that you are just worried about the weather at home. I hope it is going to be brilliant in August! I am banking on it!!

i agree with staying in this country

We had a fantastic break last month in Devon and the weather was glorious and it was SO much fun for us and ds...

have to say I recommend staying in a hotel as it was a REAL break for me - didn't have to cook, or even make beds etc, it was bliss! Self catering at the mo to me feels just too much like hard work

I would rather have 3 nights in a hotel than one week somewhere cheaper where I'd be doing all the work!

Thanks again, all your comments are really helpful. Honoria I totally agree, but does a hotel work with small kids. DS gets up at 6am and usually has some milk, could we do that in a hotel?

We find self catering with small children more relaxing than hotels. More space, more separate bedrooms. You can feed them quick childish meals on demand, not have to wait for restaurant times.

we actually find camping holidays quite successful, I think because the dds love it so much and they race off around the campsite and don't pester us too much. but they are very weather dependent, and only work if you already like camping.

I know what you mean about holidays with young children being hard work. I must admit I found holidays in UK & France much easier when dc's were that age. All they need to entertain them are beaches/rivers/farms.

I think self catering is easier - eat when and where you like, washing facilities etc. You could see if you could get a cottage or apartment in a sort of converted stable place that has communal facilities such as play area and/or swimming pool - but these are probably already pretty well booked if you're looking at the school holidays.

I agree that a hotel is far more of a break for me but unfortunately when the DCs were young it added to the stress! Self- catering leaves you free to have meals when you want etc.

I think hotels are a good place for getting stuff at odd hours, actually. ours was quite small so didn't have room service but there was an 'honesty' bar with fridge where you took what you wanted at whatever hour, and left a note. I'm sure they would stock it with milk on request.

They are there to serve you and make you comfortable, after all.

Of course self catering does give you a bit more adult time, it's more like home where you can put them to bed etc. But we just went with the flow and ds went to bed later, when we did. Had he been younger perhaps that would have been tricky...dunno, but it worked ok for us and it was luxury

we did spend a lot on eating though

We had breakfast in the hotel, and lunch and dinner out though we did find cheap child friendly places!

One night we had dinner in the hotel and as they were so quiet they built it round us - just asked what time we'd like dinner, we said 5pm, and there it was!

Can highly recommend going in term time

This year for me was the only time I felt like I had a holiday (I am still too scared to venture abroad).

We went on a farm holiday at Torridge House in Devon, and it was truly fabulous.

Children get to help with the feeding of animals (accompanied by a parent) in the morning and late afternoon, it took an hour each feeding session. Next door is a ceramic painting studio which we did on a rainy day. We also visited the beach as that was only a short-ish drive away.