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Leaving 17 year old home alone?

34 replies

chickencurry123 · 24/09/2025 21:40

Hi, first post so please be gentle. I’m married to a man who is older than me (by 17 years). We currently have a 15 year old son (16 in two weeks). Myself and husband are looking at going on an Asia cruise in feb 2027 (son will be 17y4m). We will be away for 2 weeks and as long as he passes his GCSE’s, he will be at college doing his A levels, Is this too young to leave him for 2 weeks? My sister is 5 minutes away, and we live in a nice area with lovely neighbours. The reason I mention my husbands age is that he feels he will be too old if we leave it another year! Our son is very excited about the prospect of being left alone and is self sufficient already (he can cook,but I will leave home made meals for him in the freezer) x

OP posts:
MushroomCandle · 24/09/2025 21:45

I lived alone at 16

Gonk123 · 24/09/2025 21:45

Yes go for it. It’s daunting leaving your kids at first but phone calls and family are local so it’s the best you can do. Maybe squeeze a little weekend in beforehand just so that it might reassure you a little and warn that there should be NO PARTIES!! ha ha!

TheaBrandt1 · 24/09/2025 21:47

It should be fine personally it’s a little longer than I would be totally comfortable with but dd2 can be quite scatty with keys.

chickencurry123 · 24/09/2025 21:50

Thank you!! We’ve already had the party ‘near miss’ last year! It didn’t happen as I was alerted by a school mum and we had a heart to heart talk about it and he was mortified. He won’t do it again (famous last words!) x

OP posts:
itsallabitofamystery · 24/09/2025 21:51

I’ll be leaving my 17yo alone for 4 nights in November. She can cook the basics but it’ll be mainly micro or prepared meals. She will have two dogs to look after, so added responsibility there too but they will also keep her company. I think the biggest issue with you is duration. I know my daughter will miss me like mad. I don’t think she would like me to be gone that long, but would I trust her to be home alone? Absolutely I would.

chickencurry123 · 24/09/2025 21:52

We have a key safe which he uses every day from school and locking front gates which are 6ft. They’re locked from 9pm to 6am

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 24/09/2025 21:52

Eight months shy of officially being an adult - you would like to think you should be able to leave him to his own devices! That said, we all know teenage boys - I think you should impress on him that this demonstrates how much trust you have in him, but if that trust is broken then there will be serious consequences. And do you have a friend/family member who can pop by 'just to see how he is'? To make sure he's not arranged the mother of all parties or spray painted the dog blue?

SnowfallSnowball · 24/09/2025 21:53

I went on holiday for two weeks by myself, granted my DD just turned 18 but she was fine, made sure she had money and gave the neighbour the spare key just in case she forgot her hers and came back and her and the cat was safe as houses! :)

chickencurry123 · 24/09/2025 21:54

Yes, we have numerous people to check in on him.x

OP posts:
chickencurry123 · 24/09/2025 21:56

Also we have regular weekends where he’s on his own with the dog! (He’s never painted him blue - yet!) x

OP posts:
StewkeyBlue · 24/09/2025 21:57

How does that timing work with exams?

Bippybop · 24/09/2025 21:57

MushroomCandle · 24/09/2025 21:45

I lived alone at 16

Me too also had a baby.

chickencurry123 · 24/09/2025 22:00

Exams won’t be until after we get back. I think they’re in May x

OP posts:
Ariela · 24/09/2025 22:07

Given he'll then be 17, I'd still be concerned about the party risk, so would perhaps consider mentioning something like paying for driving lessons /contribution to car, on the basis this is only if you can afford it - and reiterate you do not want any extra costs to welcome you home with.

Balloonhearts · 24/09/2025 22:13

OP he is 17. A lot of 17 year olds live alone, some with their own babies and families. He'll be fine.

Arlanymor · 24/09/2025 22:34

chickencurry123 · 24/09/2025 21:56

Also we have regular weekends where he’s on his own with the dog! (He’s never painted him blue - yet!) x

Or pink... or purple?!

Joking aside, I think you've covered all of the bases, and there are times when you have to trust that they will do the right thing, this feels like a good point to do that to be fair.

My godgoblins are 18 and 16 - I would trust the 16 year old not to burn the house down more than the 18 year old. It's personality types too isn't it?

Tortielady · 24/09/2025 22:44

I stayed at home for a week when I was 17. I didn't have exams, but I was an introverted little bookworm with no interest in a noisy family holiday. My parents left me with enough money for food for me and the cat and I had invitations to dinner with extended family who weren't far away. After a day of feeling a bit lost, I settled into being on my own and really enjoyed it. Also, I had another couple of years at home and after that, I was off to university, so it was a necessary step outside my comfort zone. Of course, my parents knew there was no risk of coming back to any sort of mayhem and/or a blue cat. I'd just as soon have gone bungee jumping 😁

Bjorkdidit · 25/09/2025 05:51

Balloonhearts · 24/09/2025 22:13

OP he is 17. A lot of 17 year olds live alone, some with their own babies and families. He'll be fine.

I'm sure he will be, well he should be and 2 weeks will be plenty to break his belief in the cooking, cleaning and laundry fairies if he still thinks they still exist but it's not clear whether the OPs concern is:

Am I a terrible mother for leaving my child alone to fend for himself, or

Would I be an utter fool to trust my 17 YO not to invite all his mates round to destroy my house and drink my collection of vintage single malts before throwing up on my antique rug and hiding the mess under the coffee table have parties while I'm away, or even

What if something terrible happens like a fire or the roof blows off, how will he cope?

Of the 17 YOs I know well, one would probably do the party thing and also get himself arrested, one couldn't be left because his DM still does absolutely everything for him and all attempts to grow independence have so far failed (there are some SNs but not sufficient to prevent preparation of basic meals, buying milk from the shop over the road or getting to his nearby college) and another who would behave perfectly and likely do a few minor DIYs and clean all the windows while they're away because that's how he's been brought up by his DM who was a single parent who herself is very independent and capable so he takes after her and she has made good use of the extra pair of hands available to her when decorating, moving house, building flat pack, sorting an overgrown garden etc etc.

For the last few years, he only got the privileges of Mums taxi, laundry done etc after he'd helped her put a curtain rail up or similar.

pinkbackground · 25/09/2025 06:01

We are going to leave our 17 year old home alone in November for the first time. As you, we’ve people within a few mins drive if there’s a problem but I think it’s fine at 17.

Lifebeganat50 · 25/09/2025 06:04

We left our ds for a week when he just turned 17 and he was absolutely fine-relative literally across the street -he loved that we trusted him

Neurodiversitydoctor · 25/09/2025 07:04

Gonk123 · 24/09/2025 21:45

Yes go for it. It’s daunting leaving your kids at first but phone calls and family are local so it’s the best you can do. Maybe squeeze a little weekend in beforehand just so that it might reassure you a little and warn that there should be NO PARTIES!! ha ha!

This suggest a shorterbreak youcan drive back from in an emergency ( we went to Wales) before flying halfway round the world, but yes @ 17 should be fine yr12 or yr13 out of interest ?

overthinker001 · 25/09/2025 08:26

I lived alone with a baby at 17. I’m sure he will be fine op. Sounds like there are a lot of people around to keep an eye on him or if he needs anything. Go and enjoy yourself.

dizzydizzydizzy · 25/09/2025 11:51

As your DS is happy with the idea, it sounds good. Plus you all have plenty of time to make plans and get used to the idea.

bigwhitedog · 25/09/2025 11:54

6 months later he'll be off to uni, I think it'll be a nice step for him. If you're sure he won't have the type of party that involved police and local newspapers. I'd let him know he can have a couple of friends but you expect to come home to your home and belongings in one piece.

Davros · 25/09/2025 11:55

Two weeks is a long time. I used to worry most about DD getting bored and lonely, not safety

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