Not sure I can keep everyone happy

[Coffeesnob11]

I am a lone parent to one Ds 7. Last year and this we have gone on holiday with my mum (80's). Last year was an ikos and this year sensatori.
Some background. I pay for Ds and I, mum pays for herself. I am nd and da is likely to be. DM can be very strict with her rules.
She wants to be included in everything and if she wants to do an activity we are both expected to watch which is boring for a 7 year old. 7 year old has refused kids group this year and almost needs a friend to be confident enough to do anything. This year we have met a family with a son the same age so with 2 days to go he is finally agreeing to join in and leave my side.
I was hoping for him to go to kids group just for an hour a day so I could go to the gym/sunbathe etc. he has refused to stay with my mum at all. I also feel I am looking after 2 people. I run around doing their suncream, packing the bag for the pool, doing hand washing etc. my mum has nicked my tablet and has been watching a series on it, I have read bothy books at night once she is asleep ( insists on lights out at 10) and her book is one I gave her. Lastly bring at an ai means I am surrounded by families.
I know mum will be offended if we don't go with her but is there a solution that would work for all of us so I don't feel like I am on duty all week. Any suggestions of hotels or holiday ideas welcome. I have worked out a swim up room would be helpful but they always seem to be out of budget. Mum won't fly more than 5 hours and is very picky.
Thanks all.

Is there any benefit to having your mother there because all I see is negative!

how do you get on when not on holiday?

and no way would I be spoiling this holiday for my active son by having my selfish mother manning demands

If you have been going to ikos, your budget is generous to say the least

check out turkey to private pool

what activity has she been doing whereby she’s been wanting you and her grandson to “watch”?

Just decide what you are doing next year and then inform her, if she doesn’t like it then she doesn’t have to come, simple!

Does your DS like STEM/construction activities? My DS really enjoyed the “smart play” area at this hotel complex https://maroworld.valamar.com/en/activities/ He made a few friends there and actually went every day!

We've done many a 3 generation holiday and they only worked for us as everyone did their own thing a lot of the time, coming together in the evenings or maybe a visit out somewhere, eg waterpark.

I agree with others - no Mum next year. Trying to keep a 7 yr old and an 80 yr old happy all the time is difficult enough and that's if everyone is flexible and adaptable. To be honest you could go the the best hotel / resort in the world but if your DM insists on everyone watching her crochet it's never going to work. From your OP there doesn't sound like there's much possibility of her loosening up.

Time to part company with your DM for the full summer holiday (doesn't stop weekend breaks etc), and your DS will be a year old next year and hopefully more confident about joining in. We've done a couple of alpine family activity holidays - white water rafting, climbing, horse riding, mountain biking, hikes, go carts etc etc. The whole family joins in so your DS not feeling comfortable joining in alone wouldn't matter, but still kids around for him to make friends with. Sounds full on but there were also free sessions for lazing by the pool etc. More importantly it would be totally unsuitable for an 80 year old, so breaking the cycle of joint summer holidays. We've been to Chamonix, but I know families who have been to Austria and had a whale of a time.

I hear you, was a lone parent for 15 years. I used Scott Dunn for a few years as they have the best kids clubs. Gave me some respite and DD has a blast (she’s shy but they do such a good job with the kids)

However, Atlantico Mare in Cyprus has wonderful swim up rooms and is an AI with great restaurants. Low key entertainment at night but nice kids activities and a small water slide area DS might like.

I would suggest you and DS have your own swim up room, so you aren’t sharing with your mum and not in her control. Or better go on your own.

The answer to the question in your OP, is no you can't and you should stop trying. Go on the holiday that suits you and your child. Invite her if you want to but get separate rooms next time. And get your tablet back! Your mum might be offended, but that's ok. You are both adults and need to be able to communicate as such.

The solution is you having better boundaries and actually talking to her about it. Expecting you both to watch her to an activity, what the actual fuck?! She needs to be told that one isn't happening.

And yes, you both need your own rooms.

Why are you taking her even? Just go with your DS and enjoy. You are more worried about pleasing your mum than making sure you and DS have a nice holiday.