Mum with dementia wants to go on holiday - advice on where to take her…

[Blueuggboots]

My mum would dearly love to go on holiday, on a plane.

She has Parkinson’s so walks with a rollerator and needs a raised toilet seat and walk in shower.

She likes places with history and interesting sites, (physical limitations obviously being taken into account) but she hates sitting on a sun lounger all day. She’s not a drinker and hates places like Benidorm or Torremelinos etc…

I’m happy to go with her, but not sure where to suggest. Would a cruise work?

Places she has been that she’s liked previously:

Lanzarote (I hate the Canaries personally but would go if I had to for HER holiday)
Madeira (too hilly now!)
Majorca
Bangkok (not since being ill)
USA
Greece

If anyone has experience of a good accessible hotel, I’d love some recommendations please.

I’m disabled.

many places now have accessible hotels rooms.

places I liked:
athens - we stayed at the Electra metropolis I had an accessible room. Athens is a bit hilly but I have a wheelchair. Plenty of history!

uk - Cotswolds, various Windermere hotels have accessible rooms but less history obviously. You can get a book of accessible walks now as well.

also been to Barcelona (very accessible if you stay in the centre and amazing Roman ruins). I even did a boat tour there - they helped me on and off the boat and stored my wheelchair.

@Blueuggboots , make sure you investigate the insurance costs at the same time and take our insurance when you book the holiday.

I’ve recently flown long haul, because of a family wedding (the couple live overseas), with my mother who has dementia. She’s generally in good health physically but I just wanted to share how much the long flights took it out of her. She found the whole experience with airports and travel time incredibly hard and utterly confusing. Getting a sunflower lanyard from the departure airport was invaluable, and all the staff we encountered in each role and each airport were great, but my recommendation would be as short a flight as possible, then perhaps somewhere you can travel to by train. We’re both experienced travellers, and have done this trip before, but this time was almost unbearable.

How severe is her dementia?

What about Ireland.
A short flight and then possibly an organised coach tour to historical sites eg newgrange.
I suggest you share a twin room with her for reassurance.
for Both of you.
All the best

Also ime Irish people are very respectful and accepting of people with disabilities.
Being generally sociable and practical avoids that awkward English stand offishness that is sometimes encountered.

Try a local overnight first.
Her dementia may make it very tricky
She maybe recalling holidays but reality may be very confusing for her

Look at Cala Bona in Majorca, and specifically the Hotel Cala Bona (unexciting name!), which has disability-adapted rooms. It's 100 years old this year and has British guests who have been coming for 60 years - they came with their kids as babies and now their grandchildren are wheeling them around.

If you are in the UK, I would take her somewhere in the UK first.
Maybe somewhere she has lovely childhood memories of ?

Her dementia is recently diagnosed, but having taken her to Holland last year, to visit a friend, I am aware of how much the travelling took out of her, so only looking to go an hour or two on a flight. I’m also aware that time changes REALLY confuse her so need to try and minimise that….

Channel Islands would fit that criteria

I was going to suggest Jersey. Warmish, feels foreign but familiar at the same time. Red post boxes on the street, that sort of thing.

Or a river cruise? You can stay on board and see the sights from the boat or go on trips? The boats are smaller though so not sure how accessible they are.

Get an insurance quote before you make any plans. You need a better understanding of what your options are and what you can afford and if you can afford the insurance to go abroad.

How about the IOW? I was very dismissive about it as a holiday destination, but have been twice now, and really enjoy it for a relaxing break. Would she turn her nose up as it’s not abroad or flying? It does feel like going away, as the ferry from Southampton takes about an hour! The ferries are geared up for accessibility needs.
Lots of history there - Osborne House, Carisbrooke Castle (both English Heritage), The Needles Battery (NT) plus feeling like a very ‘gentle’ place to be.
If it has to be a plane journey, look at flights from smaller airports - Bournemouth for example. Have flown from there and it’s so much more relaxing than the big airports.

We love the IOW.

ive suggested Llandudno (she loves it there) and southern Spain and I’ll see what she says.

having said that, she’s currently staying with her sister since yesterday and I’ve already been contacted because she’s more confused than normal, so we’ll see how she gets on this week staying with family but away from her normal environment as I know that is likely to increase her confusion.

yes, insurance is very important and I wouldn’t leave the country without it!!

thsnk you so much for the suggestions.

Insurance might be a problem. You will have the GHIC for her (and your) direct medical expenses, but you will need a plan for what to do in case of (a) an extended hospital stay requiring you to stay with her, or (b) a need for repatriation — including death, or (c) an accident requiring an extended hospital stay for you — for example, having someone able to come out and fly your Mum home. It is unlikely that you will get cover for most of those given your Mum's condition.

We took dad to Cornwall when his dementia started kicking in. It feels different there with the palm trees and different planting etc. we went to the north coast. Some suggestions, book a house with ground floor bedroom near Padstow, most of the town is on the level pretty much or the Scarlett hotel down there has amazing views. We decided a flight would be too much and he absolutely loved Cornwall.