Advice for 1st holiday abroad as a single parent with 2 Neuro kids, 16 and 8.

[cannwedothis]

Ive not been abroad for over 25 years, my kids obviously have never been, we're all neuros, and the fear of taking them abroad is something I need to ignore to succeed. Please can I ask for some tips n info on anything around this that might help me? Good and bad info to help me work out where, when and how to make this happen sould be amazing. Thankyou in advance

Contact the airline and request special assistance at the airport - it can be a lifesaver.

Low expectations, go with the flow on the day and accept that there may be a lot of downtime in the room. I took books and read on the balcony a lot!

Check if the restaurants have quieter times, ours did, and it made a huge difference.

I hope you have a great holiday!

Do you go away in UK ?
What works?
Eg hotel or self catering?
Travel ? Crowds?
What do you and they like?
How independent?
What s the reason to want to go abroad? Weather? Sight seeing? New food?

Do you all want to go on holiday abroad? Silly question but you sound like you're bracing yourself for something awful, you don't have to go if you don't want to. It's not a necessary thing for your kids to do. If you do really want to go abroad, and your kids are keen to go too, then my main tip would be to base it round your favourite activities and don't try to do things for the sake of it, ie my kids only really love swimming, sometimes I feel we should visit cultural things on holiday but I always regret it as they hate it and we all have a bad day stuck in crowds too hot. So we visit different swimming pools and beaches instead. The first family holiday abroad I did with my kids was a cruise. I'd really recommend that as everything is done for you, there is no stress or difficulties once you're on the boat and there's something for everyone. I'm a really nervous traveller and the cruise made it really easy and we saw some amazing places I'd feel more confident to go back to now.

I find these help with my ND DD8 and I have managed to travel a few times a year with her:

• watch YouTube videos on where we’re going and what we’ll likely do
• Aim for self catering. She has a huge varied diet at home but restricts whilst away. Being able to make foods I know she’ll eat really helps.
• Have a slow schedule and fluid itinerary. We can always add more in.
• If we’re going for at least a week, we’ll have a nothing day where have no plans and I prepare to spend at least half the day in the accommodation if need be doing crafts/reading/games etc to reset. I find 4 night breaks are the perfect holiday length for us
• Take a comforter with her, no matter how light we pack and regardless that she barely uses it any home anymore. It aids resetting where needed
• Snack, all the snacks. I have the mindset we can get back to eating properly once home and if she lives off snacks until then, so be it.

Depending on the triggers, have a good think what kind of accomodation works for you.
If noise and lots of people are a no-go than a cruise or a busy resort with lots of pools and waterpark can be overwhelming.
A complex with either serviced appartments or s/c appartments and a shared pool may be better.

Are your children the same sex? Could they share a room? A suite/appartment can mean you can all take time off each other.

Is food an issue? Then AI could help as you will always find something and don't worry about cooking or wasting food.

Keep expectations low and don't go the "we have to do xyz". DD developed really issues with the beach, sensory issues with sand and the noise of the waves. It's not easy as I love it but I also know that there is no point in pushing something which will just end in a disaster.
If you do think going out and exploring choose a location which has decent public transport, Majorca is great here.

What about heat? If you struggle, don't go to the Med in Summer, is May half-term an option?

Could you drive? Belgium and southern Netherlands are great, easy to get to from Calais, plenty to do, you get around with English basically everywhere.

DD16 is ND. Can I ask what the triggers are? Diets? Noise?

We struggle with busy noisy places and being too hot. Ive too much fear around a cruise atm for my youngest, she's too impulsive. We always weekend holiday in the UK in March/April and October/November times so it's not too hot or busy.
I was thinking half board so I can relax too, only 6 months in to a gastric bypass, so im really not eating much and don't feel we need the all inclusive for 3 kids meals as such.
Yes abroad time is calling, kids are keen, and im looking at potential inheritance money I don't want to squander in a few years, so want to go abroad now as a taster in prep for a nicer holiday when I get those funds etc.

Ok so I have traveled with ND DD16 for years. Your choice will depend a lot on budget but two different kind of places might work that also gives you a break. Pine Cliffs in Portugal. Loads of space, beautiful shaded areas under pine trees and they have a mix of hotel and apartments with different swimming pools. Another type of accommodation is usually AI but you can get all suite ones that are more breakfast only. These are swim ups….it means you can get back to your room if one of them feels overwhelmed and still have a pool. DD loves the swim ups, she can have some quiet time and still be on the water which she loves.