Terrible holiday! Need advice

[Fishy54]

We are currently on a road trip which is not going well.

the plan was to drive to though France to get to Spain but the journey is taking too long and we are ending up booking into cheap affordable accommodation in awful places to break up journey and we are all stressed. No exercise. Too much time on the road and stopping in places that are making us feel depressed.

we have done this sort of journey before through Europe but for one reason or another this year we have failed.

we all got really upset last night that we have experienced nothing and we are already 4 days into journey with only 7 days left, not where we planned on being plus having to take into consideration the journey back home.

we don’t know what to do. Driven too far. We are 2 hours from Biarritz and was meant to exploring the north of Spain. My son was upset and wished we had stayed at home but being very mature and helping with ideas, my husband has come to a standstill and tired from driving, I’m stressed do to driving passed all the beautiful places to get to where we currently are.

if we carry on we feel like our time will be spent r in much the same way when we get to Spain as we have not allowed enough time to relax and and just be in between visiting places.

we have driven so far that we are at a loss as to what to do. My heart is not in the journey. I don’t think anyone’s was really . It was my husbands idea a while back and my husband and son speak Spanish.

we discussed other more restful options before we left home. I feel awful
that we didn’t pursue them. Nothing I can do about that now. But what should we do now. My husband is suggesting we just stay put. Find somewhere in France and stay here for a few days then drive back home.

we have already lost one day of accommodation as w weren’t going to make it in time for check in.

Alternative is we move on and carry with the plan. Our accommodation for first few 2 days now is quite remote. Which we wanted but now we fed up with the driving. Then we have 3 more days booked elsewhere to explore a different area. Then we have to make our way home. The only way we can get home now in good time is to take the long ferry ride home. Which will kill another two days. My husband seemed to think we first left home that we had enough time to do a loop and drive back through France visiting some lovely places. we now can’t do that.

I can’t sleep and don’t know what to do.

I feel awful for my son. He needed a good break as much as we did.

we are all wishing we had just cancelled this idea and had a single location holiday somewhere peaceful.

what should we do?

Ive done that trip with 1 night break with little kids - what's happened for it to take 4 days?

Personally I'd stay where you are and holiday there if you can, otherwise you'll need to put more hours into driving. Use the toll roads so you can get your speed up.

Once you arrive you'll all be fine. Im just not sure why its taken you so long....

She's answered that about 5 times - they stopped for 2 days in La Rochelle because OP has a health issue that means she needs rest. On reflection a road trip was never a good plan but there's a reason it went wrong.

There's quite a few smug "what's the big deal" replies on this thread, and I think op has taken them in good grace considering she's already having a rubbish time and feeling bad.

I too have done lots of road trips, sometimes they're great and sometimes they're not. I've found it veers in to the not when the time on the road outweighs the time experiencing the actual trip.

I think a revised plan to stay in Biarritz for 2-3 days, then one location in northern Spain for a few days, followed by the ferry home is good. Just don't over-commit to seeing and doing too much. You're exhausted. If you and your dh are less stressed and tired, it will make your son feel more positive about it all too.

Zarautz is just up the coast from San Sebastian and is lovely and good surfing if you can't find accommodation in San Sebastian.
Also Noja which is close to Santander is a great town, lovely beach and we had a great SUP there. They do surfing lessons there also so depend on the wind /waves could be good for your son

So easy to read the OPs posts. Or just the last few.

Can you not head back towards the ferry and stop for a few days in a lovely place enroute? Maybe have a lovely dinner somewhere. One day you will look back and laugh … it will become a part of your family memories x

Yes

Things do go wrong I'm sure, but you seem very hesitant to commit to a new plan. Holidays don't have to be perfect, they're about spending time together. Just find somewhere to stop and stay for the rest of the time you have and make the most of whatever you find.

I don’t understand. I have medical conditions with mean I have to stop more and also dietary restrictions too and we’re driving Italy next week. Will take about 20 hours but we have a night stop in France on the way. I don’t understand how it’s taken you this long. Perhaps you should have flown if you don’t want to drive and have those ailments .

Some people on this thread are being so unpleasant. My dad and I both love driving and have been driving long distances all around Europe and USA since forever. Yet, I remember we also had a nightmare driving from Germany to Italy on one of those road trips due to horrible (in parts stationary) traffic. It was an awful drive and took much longer than expected with my teen moaning that this was a "rip off holiday" and "why didn't we just fly like normal people" 😬 But we ended up having a lovely time once we finally(!) got to Italy. We had to change plans along the way though. It happens OP. Wishing you a happy rest of your holiday!

I'm glad you seem to have it sorted OP - wise to take the hit on ferry cost to salvage your wellbeing. We've done this sort of journey a lot on the motorbike in the past but I now have a health condition that would make this sort of thing gruelling (plus even northern Spain on a motorbike this time of year can be boiling) so I do sympathise.

San Vicent de la Barquera is quite a nice little town not far from Santander. Potes and Riano are nice too but Riano might be a little too far if fed up with driving.

Sack off Comillas. You are adding far too much distance and time.
Just stick to San Sebastian/ Bilbao area

@Fishy54 we did a similar trip last year and ended with 4 nights in Comillas, lovely beach, lovely town, great restraurants, all reasonably priced. Short drive to Santander for overnight ferry back.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday

I'm the only driver in the family and don't like flying, so we do all our holidays by train.

You can get to so many places - we do miss out on some remote spots but it's worth it to avoid all the stress.

I love the inevitable "but we drove 10,000 miles without stopping in 5 hours, what's the problem?" type posts. Completely oblivious of the fact that that doesn't suit everyone (and its bloody stupid).

We've driven UK - Spain a few times and there has always been the trade off between too much driving and too many stops. The idea of drifting through picturesque french countryside sounds great until you actually do it and realise you've covered 80 miles in 4 hours, so then you overcompensate and blast down 200 miles of autoroute and see nothing in 3 hours. On balance flying worked out far better.

You need > 4.5 hours for lunch and a wee?

I agree. It’s quicker and much less stressful.

I am sorry OP. It is so disappointing when a holiday goes wrong.
As we get older and health deteriorates, we can't do the things we used to do.
When we make holiday plans now, it turns into a long list of things I can't do. We just have to make different plans. Sometimes it takes a few disasters to clarify the adaptations you need to make.
I hope you can salvage the rest of your holiday.
We love a road trip, but we no longer take our own car, for example. We do train or plane then hire a car when we get there.

Completely oblivious of the fact that that doesn't suit everyone (and its bloody stupid)

completely agree, would be my idea of hell. Which is why I wouldn't plan it as my family holiday... No one is telling her to cancel her weeks all inclusive and substitute it with a long driving holiday, she'd already picked the long driving holiday!

Yes this- based on the rest of the thread, the op and fam won’t be ‘that was a lovely few hours break surfing in Biarritz’ they will be ‘I don’t understand it’s 6pm and we are still driving when we had 2.5 hours of driving to do today and we didn’t even get to see Biarritz so we’ve just lost another day doing absolutely nothing’ - if the breaks aren’t revitalising you and forming part of your trip, stop taking them and drive the whole 2.5h to San Sebastián! Then you’re there, and it’s 11am and you can unpack relax have some lunch go for a wander hang at the beach think about dinner…

Again, I can't offer any advice but you've definitely learnt that along with not doing any of the things that led to this holiday situation, you also need to be really careful of posting on mumsnet asking for advice because people are so bloody awful!
Why do so many people need to say how easy it was for them?
Why can't people read up before putting in their tuppence worth and asking the same questions again and again?
She's on here because for whatever reason it's gone wrong and now they're so desperate not to make another wrong move that they don't know which way is up.
Ridiculing and bragging isn't helpful, but that's the general mumsnet vibe...not once have I ever clicked on a thread and found more useful advice than spiteful bitching...I don't get how someone can think it's ok or necessary to post?
One of you should start a thread called Faultless & Fantastic.
There has been some brilliant advice, too and now you've booked the ferry, it definitely sounds like you should plough on to one of the spots near Santander, thoroughly enjoy yourselves for the time you have left and go home.
You could always do a more leisurely road trip to Biarritz another time and either fly to Spain or get a longer ferry trip and shorter drive.
Good luck!

@Sandyshandy

you think 8.30am is too early….what time do think is a better time to get up??

I think OP as you’ve been found out with a finite amount of time this works better if the purpose of the holiday is ‘the drive’ with leisurely stops for lunch and dinner in lots of overnight stays in picturesque pre planned places and then almost straight away drive back via alternative places - or as others have said a 7 hour drive down to as far as you can get , an overnighter and then another6 hours or so the next day - with literally toilet stops and a quick snack ( my parents used to do this to south of France) - or you get the long ferry to bilbao etc if you actually want a proper week in the same place. This really depends on how great you all are at coping with really really long drives or driving in dark etc. if you are doing lots of stopping and starting and overnighters , but still planning on a good amount of time in a particular destination this doesn’t work -as you have now found -

The way I understood, @Sandyshandy is saying she gets up early and 8.30 is too late to.

Driving from UK, through France and to Spain is great. But don't do it in summer unless you have a plan of destinations booked, and plenty of time to get there.

Drifting driving holidays without bookings are perfect in winter, early spring or late autumn. Never, ever in summer peak season.