Holidays really hard with 1 and 3 year old

[GSmith86]

Looking for advice really on how to make holidays with two young kids more enjoyable.

Although the idea is lovely, we have just been away and I must admit to feeling relieved when it was over. That sounds awful I am aware and it makes me so sad as I know these times will pass so quickly.

My toddler is going through a very rebellious stage where literally everything feels like a battle. A challenge to get him out of bed, into bed, into a shower, out of a shower, dressed, undressed, into the pool, out of the pool, to eat etc etc and also seems to have just random tantrums. We give him so much love and undersrandinf and he is a wonderful boy but we are definitely in a difficult phase. The baby is just normal baby difficult.

I feel like I spend my whole holiday trying to convince my toddler to do things, not sleeping, trying to keep everyone calm in public spaces and getting everyone dressed and undressed constantly.

Not a second of it do I really relax.

Is this normal?

We used to holiday at the grandparents when ours were small. Grandparents were delighted to spend time with them which gave us a break too.

We didn't go abroad until DC were both at school (partly due to finances).

normal. I found the combination of a 1 year old and 3 year old the worst. It probably will be easier next year, and maybe even fun the year after that! I second center parcs type holidays as the easiest

Kinder Hotels are the way to go at that age (Austria/Germany) … just fantastic from soft play to sandpits

I think having low expectations of the holiday is key. When we’ve been away it’s pretty much just breakfast then pool/beach, lunch and then hopefully a nap in the buggy, then back the pool, evening meal and kids entertainment.

I know many people recommend all-inclusive when they have small children, but we found that self-catering, especially if you can stretch to a villa, or apartment with pool, to be the best option for us.

I have three children, and have always taken them away since they were about 3 months old. For me, self-catering gave the greatest flexibility - they could eat their usual kinds of food, they could eat when they wanted, nap when they wanted, there was plenty of space to play inside and out. It was perfect when we had our own pool, as we could just dip in and out of the villa as we wanted, swim/sunbathe when they were napping etc. We weren't all squeezed in on top of each other, and once the kids are in bed at night, you can sit out on the terrace/balcony without having to tiptoe around.

But - with the exception of a couple of hours each day - it's not anything like the holidays you take pre-children in terms of relaxing - it's hard work! But we loved it, and have many happy memories.

This. When ours they were toddlers we rented a cottage near a beach. On good days we spent them on the beach, doing all the usual activities. On wet days we played in the cottage, went somewhere simple for lunch or hopefully to a farm park/ activity centre.

You need extra adults. Go with helpful grandparents. Or choose a place with excellent kids clubs (I recommend Mousses via Simpson Travel, kids club there was a godsend at this age).

If this isn’t possible then go somewhere with buffet meals included so at least cooking is done for you. A gently shelving pool or toddler pool is very helpful.

But tbh 3 and 1 is peak hard work wherever you are.

Same! I think ours were slightly younger, maybe 5 and 7.
Holidays abroad are tough because they are generally based around the pool & beach. They don’t want to sit & chill so you end up running around after them, they get bored after an hour of so etc.
The only time it worked for us is when my parents came as an extra pair of hands.
We found uk cottage breaks at seaside places much easier. They tend to have little funfairs, petting farms etc which kept ours entertained.

We preferred self catering at that age, no pressure about meal times, no fussy because our early riser was hungry but the breakfast not open.

We just had breakfast and did lots of little trips, afternoon at the pool/beach and dinner was just cold custs and bread.

I love our holidays as it's a break from home where annual leave would just be wasted in doing the same old things all over again.

You have to adjust your expectations and the types of holidays you take with kids (of any age). If you expect to still take the same old holidays you used to pre-kids you are set up to are set up to fail. You have to be prepared to be flexible and follow their lead, and generally you have to slow right down.

We just did UK holiday cottages at this age. Could take all the gear easily like buggies, travel cots, most favourite toys. They had their own room rather than in with us like in a hotel. They could go to bed and we still had the lounge to relax. And we could fed them when and what they liked. It's the same hard day just in a new location. Not at all relaxing but nice to see new places.

Just to add that I did chuckle at the PPs from those with one child telling you what they did and how chilled it was. Yes, we all found it easy with one, it’s a different story with a baby and a toddler!!

Yes it is normal unfortunately. When ours were overly little we decided not to travel by plane (after a pretty horrendous flight with our 3 year old) and we had a couple of years in Cornwall instead. We packed the car to the rafters with everything for the kids, we always got 3 bedrooms so the kids had their own room for naps and space and it did make things easier. Now at 5 & 7 holidays are much more enjoyable!

I could have written your post word for word. Currently on a holiday with a one and three year old and counting the days until we go home. I feel really guilty about it so am glad to have found your post!

went on a holiday last year with our 2 year old and it was great. They still napped, went to bed fairly early and didn’t have temper tantrums. This year is super hard. Three year old is challenging everything, routine is out the window, and one year old is waking up every 1.5 hours for breastfeeding. I think both of them are tired and unsettled.

we also tried euro camping this year which I think I had somewhat romanticized in my head! I can see the appeal when kids are a bit older but at this age I’m finding the need to cook, clean, and wash clothes a bit of a slog.

it seems a lot of people are saying wait until the youngest is four so I might wait a couple of years before we try a big holiday in Europe again x

British beach...

Honestly, I've travelled a fair bit, but I have never found somewhere so relaxing to have small children.

Not too hot or sunny (mostly), generally very safe. Sand and shallow water = hours of easy entertainment at that age.

No pressure to do lots of things. No problem with being in public, because the beach will be full of kids/families. No problem being messy/dirty... Just keep an eye on them, feed/water/sun cream occasionally.. job done.

For me, when my son was 1-4 it was the easiest place in the world to have him. Far easier than a resort, a pool, a city/town, etc.

What about a holiday from home? Kids go to nursery as usual, but you and DH take a week off work and spend the money that you would have spent on holiday doing things like going out for lunch, getting a massage, whatever you enjoy!

Sorry OP, but it sounds very normal for the next couple of years! I found travelling with an under one fairly stress free - pop them in a sling and get on. But when there are two it's more difficult. We found self catering easiest, definitely take a cheap, foldable buggy for baby to nap in when out and about and lower your standards and go to family style resorts.