To feel worried about travelling on the Dreamliner?

[Emiliex1o]

A bit of background, I used to LOVE flying, but since having a little one, I find I’m constantly worrying when flying with her.

We’re due to go away soon with TUI on the Dreamliner and whilst I’ve been on one before, my flight anxiety is now out of control following the absolutely tragic incident in India and I feel so upset for everyone that was on that flight.

Does anyone else struggle with flight anxiety; if so, how do you do cope with it and would you feel comfortable travelling on a Dreamliner? Because I haven’t really dealt with flight anxiety before, I’m not sure how to approach it.

And yes, I absolutely know the stats around it being the safest mode of travel, but unfortunately, anxiety isn’t rational and doesn’t like listening to statistics!

They may still do?

@Emiliex1o
I know where you're coming from. I was in Africa on Friday when the plane came down and on Sunday I was on two 787s...one after the other!!!! I love flying, my brother has been a performance engineer for a big airline for 30 years so very very experienced but taking off on Sunday on each flight was really emotional. My kids are 32/30 but I couldn't stop thinking about them as I took off as their dad is dead so it's just me.
They were great flights and it will be important to see what the investigation shows.

@Lilo08 oh heck I really feel for you! But you will be absolutely fine! It’s just our anxiety making it seem like we’re not going to be!

What makes it even worse for me is my Dad is an aircraft engineer and has been for over 30 years which is where I got my love of flight from and then it’s just gone down the drain since having children :(

He tells me all the time how things work, how the plane can glide if it lost engines, how losing both engines is literally the rarest occurrence, how much the pilots are trained, what all the sounds are but I still can’t see past that big red sign in my head saying DON’T GO.

And to top it off even more, I work in a field where we see how horrendous and how many car accidents there are daily but I’m still not phased getting on a car… what is it about those blinking planes that terrify us?!

I'm a private pilot and am just about to start commercial pilot training. I have a 5 year old daughter.
There is an insane amount of training involved. I've gone through an insane amount of training, and I'm only allowed to fly small planes.

The amount you have to know and be able to demonstrate would shock you, and hopefully reassure you. Pilots have to know the procedures for emergencies inside out, they practise and practise. They have to do 6 monthly checks on the simulator, depending on the airline.

Also, plane engineering and maintenance is very strict. So many parts have to be 'failsafe' now, so if something breaks the rest of the plane must be able to compensate and not result in a catastrophic chain of failures as a result of the first failure.

Flying is very, very safe. There are anywhere between 12,000 and 14,000 planes in the sky at once. Any that have issues, won't result in a disaster and at worst, divert.

@Emiliex1o I'm no psychiatrist, but it sounds to me like you've just got an unhelpful thinking habit and you naturally panic at the thought of flying, even when you pull it apart and rationalise it.
I wonder if having 10 points written down on your phone to read when you panic about it, might help, using some of the points given on this thread. Then just usual calming strategies etc.

There's usually some calm type media on the inflight entertainment. Meditations, etc.

Air India are offering free cancellation with full refunds on upcoming flights, no questions asked. This may be worth looking into.

I do find prosecco helps!

It'll be okay OP. I really sympathise. I think it's the helplessness, you are in such a controlled environment and couldn't do much to help yourself if there was a problem. I was a this-is-scary-but-fun kind of flyer till kids, now I hate it. I could tamp down the fear before but hard to juggle that and kids, and you can't just sit there and meditate. Posted overseas atm not far from India and have to fly over 20 hours to North America next week with kids including 2 year old- family funeral, have to go.

I know some people above say the opposite but I find 2 glasses of wine at the beginning of the flight numbs it for me.
You could also ask your doctor for propranalol, when I was on it for other reasons that really helped.
I do find the beginning is the worst then I chill out anyway.

I think it's really, really normal for the stress of flying with kids to do this to you. I imagine you will enjoy flying again one day.
I do this weird thing at the beginning of the flight where I basically say "I know it's possible for planes to crash but that isn't going to happen this time." Pretend I've had a message from the future or something. It relieves that hyper vigilance that tells me I need to be protecting my kids.
Usually it's the airline that matters more for safety than the plane anyway.
It'll be okay, honest.

Go up in an unpowered glider OP. It's like being in a paper aeroplane. When you've survived that, you'll never feel unsafe in the air again.

I know some people above say the opposite but I find 2 glasses of wine at the beginning of the flight numbs it for me.

I agree completely. Or a whisky.

My Gran never really drunk alcohol but would always have a double whisky - either in the airport or from the drinks trolly on the place - to calm her nerves whilst flying.

We flew to the Caribbean in April. Last week my son said to me ‘you flew on the same model of plane as the one that crashed’.

I thought that was an interesting comment as I have never in my life noticed what type of plane I’m on, either before or during a flight.

I mean, are Dreamliners more dangerous? No, I don’t think so. Unless a crash is caused by a terror attack that maybe heralded the start of something, I wouldn’t be worried.

@Falingoth I absolutely do and I catastrophise A LOT. I’ve tried therapies for it in the past for other things but it’s definitely spiked since having my daughter so I should definitely do some more therapy for it!

And I know these facts which is why in my mind I think, what on earth went so wrong for this AI flight for it to end so horrifically?!

I take it you would absolutely still fly a Dreamliner with no qualms?

@Soal I definitely find take off the worst! Especially since my Dad has always said “that’s the most dangerous part along with landing, after that, you’re fine!”, I know he says it in jest, but still!

I don't know what went wrong with the Air India flight, it'll be interesting to find out. It does happen though very occasionally, there's no denying that. Just like I might have a heart attack tomorrow and drop dead, for no reason.
All we can do is make everything as safe as possible and completely minimise accidents like this. The AAIB are the organisation that investigate air crashes and we always learn something from every crash that happens, hence why air travel gets safer year after year. They get published for everyone to see so I often read them as a pilot, to see if there's anything I can learn from them.

I would get on a Dreamliner happily if I was flying tomorrow. I've never been afraid of flying though.

I used to feel exactly the same as you before any flight - I would have nightmares about planes crashing in the build up to taking a flight, my stomach would be churning on the day of, I’d be close to a panic attack before and during boarding, I was a terrible flier. I didn’t live in the UK but we travelled back a lot so I needed to get my flying anxiety under control because it was getting to the point where I couldn’t put myself through it, and couldn’t put my husband and son through how I would act in an airport any longer. My doctor abroad prescribed me Xanax, and it was an instant fix. It’s hardcore drug and def not something I would use regularly, but in the days before a flight I would take it as prescribed and I would feel so incredibly calm. I could get on a plane absolutely no bother, and because I would take one before boarding I’d usually end up being so relaxed that I’d fall asleep for the first few hours of the flight. So maybe if you struggle with other methods, looking into what medication you might be able to get would help? Xanax is an addictive drug, and I can def see why, but if you know you can use it, or something similar, sensibly then that could be an idea! The great thing for me is that now I live in a country where I can’t get Xanax on prescription, but the few years where I used it before flying has trained my brain to not get anxious about flying anymore. Almost as if the habit of getting panicky and anxious was the problem, rather than the fear itself, and I trained myself out of it.No more crazily strong drugs for me!

So you absolutely don’t have to have this fear of flying forever, there are numerous ways to tackle it. And yes to what PP’s have said, the Dreamliner is incredibly safe and you will be fine. But I know that other people saying that isn’t always enough to reassure someone with a proper flying phobia. Good luck whatever you choose to do!

I think Paul McKenna does a fear of flying hypnotherapy think that you can download immediately after purchase so time to try it before tomorrow. I don't know how good it is but have used his anxiety hypnotherapy and it helped. Its not a magic bullet but does make a big difference.

I have nothing to add as am I also a nervous, turned terrified flyer. It is becoming a real problem!

Following this thread as there are some really useful tips on here :-)

I've not flown in over a decade (too broke), even then the thought scares me a bit.

Bear in mind that celebrities, royalty, business execs and billionaires all manage to fly as regularly as we drive to the supermarket so it really isn't that risky.

Have you got the FlightRadar app? You’ll soon see how many planes are in the air at the same time.

Still doesn’t help though.

Good point. And during 9/11 POTUS was bustled into Airforce1 as that was the safest place for him.

I don’t particularly like flying but I like flying on Dreamliners! Best planes I’ve been on. Comfy, good air, good lighting. I actively choose them over others!

i went through a couple of years of plane anxiety and now seem to be fine. It was Peri menopause and hrt got rid of my anxiety. If you are 40s op might be worth thinking about that

I’ve flown a large number of different types of Boeing aircraft over the last 25+ years of being an airline pilot. I would not get up and go to work if there was any greater risk of flying on one of them than on any other type of aircraft. The amount of training airline employees go through (from the pilots to the engineers and everyone in between) to the amount of scrutiny and checking aircraft get on a daily basis means that flying is still an incredibly safe way to travel. We still don’t know exactly what happened in the Air India crash, but it was a rare enough situation that the world is still talking about it a week later. One crash, with a lot of people in that one accident. And yet there are 5 people every single day dying on British roads in accidents, and people still go out and drive their cars. The difference between an aeroplane crash and a car crash is that for most people, flying is a rare occurrence, and the unfamiliarity of it brings anxiety, whereas driving is a regular activity for most people and while we know crashes happen we feel they won’t happen to us.

I’ve found that what helps me is being absorbed in a book for takeoff and landing. One I’ve already started and am invested in. I avoid window seats. I tell myself I’m on a train and visualise the wheels on the tracks below me. I try not to drink much on shorter flights as I don’t want to move, but if I have to I visualise it being a train carriage and toilet again. I don’t look out of the window at all and get my partner to tell me just when we are about to touch the tarmac.

Interested to find this thread as I’m due to fly on Saturday (not a Dreamliner though) and I’m so, so anxious. It’s definitely got worse as I’ve got older. When I was younger I used to love flying and it never even occurred to me there might be an issue - despite the risks being the same! I wish I could get back to that place.

I think part of it for me is that I’m a complete control freak. I like driving because I feel whatever happens I have some control over. (And even that’s not entirely true, I know). I don’t like being in a car when someone else is driving (and this never happens - I’m the only driver in my family). So to be at the mercy of a pilot / outside factors, in a huge plane that I have no control over … 😱😱😱😱

I genuinely feel sick at the thought of flying on Saturday but I’ll brave it for the sake of Ds aged 13 who is super excited and I don’t want to pass my fears onto him.