DP away for 10 wks in Toronto and wants me to bring family. Am terrified of flying. Help!

[LiliAnjelika]

My dp is working away in Toronto for 10 wks, possibly more, and wants me to fly over with dd and ds to stay with him. If I don't go, my dd, who is 3 and a real daddy's girl, will miss him dreadfully - and vice versa. The problem is I'm terrified of flying and I can't seem to get beyond it. Even if I could conquer my fear, our ds is only 8 months old and the disruption to his routine, together with the ordeal of long-haul travel with him and dd in tow would be huge. Also, dp would be working in the days and whilst here I have my routine, my friends, nursery etc to while away the time, there I would be stuck in a Toronto suburb with two preschoolers and no car. I'm not sure whether I want to be talked into it or out of it. Any thoughts?

how long would it by for?
is there time to do a fear of flying course?

It would be for about 3-4 wks. I will look into fear of flying courses but as I'm by myself with two little ones I'm not sure I'd be able to take the time out to do one.

10 weeks is a long time with 2 LOs and no transport or social life. And if it's that temporary I'd probably feel the same - it's hardly worth seeking out groups and activities for such a short time.

How do you feel about spending 10 weeks at home without him?

Personally I could probably manage without him. He always works away in the week anyway, and I have a mother's help who comes in teh evenings to help me with bedtime (who I wouldn't have in Canada). My biggest worry is dd. She freaked out last time he was away for any length of time (3 weeks), couldn't sleep, was miserable, asked about him all the time. We installed webcam but it only frustrated her even more. Think she's a little bit better these days, but only just. On the other hand, she does have to get used to it. Once she starts school, we won't be able to join dp anyway, and he's bound to get more overseas jobs like this. (Maybe I'm just being selfish?)

bump

On balance I think I would go as long as you worked out in advance some things to do, public tansport links etc so you don't spend the whole time feeling stuck inside. Its really not that far being east coats and having travelled with simialr age (admittedly not by myself!) to both east coast and west coast (which is 11 hours) east coast was no real issue re jet lag or getting them settled in their routine. Assuming you are going in the next few months the weather should be much nicer than here and it could be a great experience and DD gets to see her daddy. when we have travelled with hours the experince has completely outweighed the journey - its a finite time and in our expeience never as bad a you think. good luck

Thanks lq. Do you know what the time difference is?

Time difference between UK and Toronto is 5 hours.

LiliAnjelika - we went to Toronto on holiday about a month ago with our two dd's then aged 3 and 9. I was DREADING the flight - also not a good traveller, but we went on Air Canada and they were wonderful. We were worried that our kids might get bored in Toronto but they absolutely adored it. My impressions of Toronto are that it's a relatively small city with excellent public transport. Nothing is hard to get to and it's clean and safe. The Canadians that we met were without exception lovely, polite, friendly and helpful. Fantastic with the kids. My children actually cried on the way home as they didn't want to leave (and these are two kids who have travelled abroad many times to more exotic sounding locations!)..
For the flight - is your 3 year old up to watching DVD's?? Mine sat and watched TV happily for virtually the whole flight and then fell asleep for a while..so no problem there. As for the young one, we've been travelling since our kids were about 3 months old and actually I find them easier than the older ones! They do tend to sleep on planes - something about the noise of th engines and I think you'll find they'll be a lot less hassle than you think they might be.
I would DEFINITELY go - don't miss out on such a great opportunity as I believe you will really love it and for the sake of 7 hours or sitting on a plane, it will be worth it....and you'll get to see Niagara Falls which is worth the journey on its own!!

Rather late to this one, did you come over LiliAnjelika? Or do you still need persuading?