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Original poster

Parents disagree with 6 months travel with kids...neep advice.

55 replies

Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 18:26

We plan to take our kids 9&6 out of school for 5/6 months to travel.

There will the the summer holidays, Easter and other bank holidays within this time and it woulda put about 45 days they will miss.

We are not at the stage to tell my parents, but I know when the time comes they will disagree.

We are a close family and they help alot with our kids, but they are also old school and won't understand.

I know it should just be a case of me saying this is what we're doing, but I just feel that they are going to put a real damper on it and say it's wrong and we shouldn't be doing it.

Any advice from any parents who's kids have done this, or how you would feel if your kids done it would be much appreciated.

Also, to mention my kids are doing great at school and I would look to do bits and bobs with them during the time away.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 30/05/2025 18:31

Will the school accept them back when you come home?

Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 18:32

dementedpixie · 30/05/2025 18:31

Will the school accept them back when you come home?

Yes, I have already spoken to the school and they said it would just be unauthorised absence.

OP posts:
Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 18:34

@dementedpixie yes, I have already spoken with the school and it will just go down as unauthorised absence.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2025 18:43

All you can really do is stand firm on your decisions and show how well planned you are. My concern as your family would be your doing "bits and pieces" of school work may well significantly impact on your kids when they come back into mainstream school and they're behind so how will you be supporting their transition back into school and catching up, and what value will the travel be to the kids? I think if you centre your conversation around that it might settle some of their worries.

If they're close to the kids also don't underestimate their feelings about losing that connection if they're not seeing the kids for 6 months so how will you be keeping in touch?

Also who's keeping an eye on your home whilst you're gone? Is your trip going to it expectations on your parents?

Also reassure them about work / money because that's something else I'd be concerned about - are you both quitting work to do this or getting extended leave? How are you going to afford to keep everything going?

SendBooksAndTea · 30/05/2025 18:47

Will you be fined/prosecuted if it's unauthorised for that long?

I think it will toughest on the 9 year old socially, we travelled a lot when I was young and it was difficult to miss out on things my friends had done and not be able to join in conversations about those. I sometimes felt like an outsider. Also, sometimes friend groups move on and current close friends make different friends, which could potentially be difficult. Not insurmountable, but something to consider and prepare to help with upon your return.

45 days of maths will be a lot to miss nowadays, I'd probably buy some workbooks to do with them each day as this could be one of the hardest areas to catch up on and this would help lessen the gaps in their learning that will develop.

Ultimately, your parents did what they felt was right and now you need to do what you feel will be best for your children. It isn't up to them, it's up to you to choose.

BangersAndGnash · 30/05/2025 18:47

Blimey, our school would fill the places from the waiting list.

I think you just have to be ‘I know you see this differently but we are confident that the overall benefit will be worth it / I understand your concerns but we are pretty sure er can cope / I know you have misgivings but you know how much we love our children and we feel ok about it / I know you are worried… we’ll send you many postcards / I know! You have said you are worried and believe me, you will be welcome to say ‘we told you so’ but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that” .

And eventually “we’ve had this conversation, we need to agree to disagree. Pasta for dinner? “

level13dangerzone · 30/05/2025 18:47

Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 18:34

@dementedpixie yes, I have already spoken with the school and it will just go down as unauthorised absence.

Have you actually looked into all the legalities that come with that?

MumChp · 30/05/2025 18:49

How does that work with school? Just curious.

I wouldn't discuss it with grandparents. End of story.

DarkForces · 30/05/2025 18:49

Our council deregisters if you're out more than 20 consecutive days so you might want to double check with your local one. The school may not get a choice.

Hoppinggreen · 30/05/2025 18:51

Are you sure school won't off roll them?
My Dcs school did it after 8 weeks and the school where I am Governor would do the same
As for your parents, they will be understandably concerned but its your choice and if you think its a good idea then you will just have to ignore them

calmingpompoms · 30/05/2025 18:54

Go for it! I took my child out for 6 months and then again for 4 months. She came back so confident and rounded and now shes an adult she looks back on it as the best bit of her childhood. So much learning took place.

Smartiepants79 · 30/05/2025 18:57

Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 18:34

@dementedpixie yes, I have already spoken with the school and it will just go down as unauthorised absence.

Is it a private school?? I’d be very surprised if this is actually allowed if it’s a state school. You will definitely be fined.
All you can do is be very sure and clear that you feel it’s the right thing to do for the right reasons.

Blimeyblighty · 30/05/2025 19:03

I think the children will have to be de-registered from school and you’ll have to reapply for places on your return. This won’t be an issue if your school is undersubscribed.

we took our kids out to travel for 18m, it was a fabulous experience for them. It would have been easier socially for our then 10yo to return to her previous social setting but we moved somewhere new & that was hard for her.

Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:07

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2025 18:43

All you can really do is stand firm on your decisions and show how well planned you are. My concern as your family would be your doing "bits and pieces" of school work may well significantly impact on your kids when they come back into mainstream school and they're behind so how will you be supporting their transition back into school and catching up, and what value will the travel be to the kids? I think if you centre your conversation around that it might settle some of their worries.

If they're close to the kids also don't underestimate their feelings about losing that connection if they're not seeing the kids for 6 months so how will you be keeping in touch?

Also who's keeping an eye on your home whilst you're gone? Is your trip going to it expectations on your parents?

Also reassure them about work / money because that's something else I'd be concerned about - are you both quitting work to do this or getting extended leave? How are you going to afford to keep everything going?

Edited

@SleepingStandingUp thanks for you comment!
We have wanted to do this for a very long time, but didn't because I didn't want to take the kids away from my parents and have them miss out on that precious time with them, but I now feel with phones and the fact the kids can verbally communicate now, that it takes the edge off that side of it.
I have spoken with my boss and she is absolutely fine with it.. I work term time already, and my work allow up to 3 months unpaid leave. My husband has still to speak with his work, but we both know his line of work he can walk into another company (it's labour road work). We are lucky enough to be getting gifted a smallish sum of money from in-laws that will help the house tick over, and we are funding the rest from our own savings.
With regards to their learning, I have friends that are teachers who are happy to advise on what will help along the way and we also plan to spending 6 weeks in an area where there is a world schooling community offering lots of sports, STEM and writing groups but in a more relaxed format.
We feel that you don't get enough quality time here in the UK with family, life is full of rush and living up to expectations... We want to take that time away from it all and make special moments with our kids and let them experience different ways of life, see what options are available to them and just open their eyes.
We feel this is a good time before my son goes to high school and exams etc are involved... Also, before you know it kids don't want to hang out with their parents..
I know it's not everyone's cup of tea and lots won't agree, but life is short.

OP posts:
Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:12

SendBooksAndTea · 30/05/2025 18:47

Will you be fined/prosecuted if it's unauthorised for that long?

I think it will toughest on the 9 year old socially, we travelled a lot when I was young and it was difficult to miss out on things my friends had done and not be able to join in conversations about those. I sometimes felt like an outsider. Also, sometimes friend groups move on and current close friends make different friends, which could potentially be difficult. Not insurmountable, but something to consider and prepare to help with upon your return.

45 days of maths will be a lot to miss nowadays, I'd probably buy some workbooks to do with them each day as this could be one of the hardest areas to catch up on and this would help lessen the gaps in their learning that will develop.

Ultimately, your parents did what they felt was right and now you need to do what you feel will be best for your children. It isn't up to them, it's up to you to choose.

No, we are in Scotland and we don't get fined for taking kids out. Alot of my friends do it twice a year before/after Easter and summer holidays.. I work term time so we always holiday during, until now!
I absolutely get where your coming from from a social aspect, both of my kids have a lovely group of close friends but with face time and gaming etc I don't feel like this will be completely lost and that meeting children along the way will help over come any upset aswell..
I have 2 teacher friends who are happy to give me worksheets and recommendations of online learning to do while we're away, which is amazing. My son is actually quite a bit ahead of his peer group and doing work from the year above what he should, so of course it will hinder that but I am confident he would be able to catch up.
And I love what you have said about they did what they thought was right and now we will do the same for our family.
Thanks for your comment and input.

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 30/05/2025 19:12

Thank them for their opinion, don’t justify yourselves- you don’t need to. Then calmly say, we will make this work

Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:14

Smartiepants79 · 30/05/2025 18:57

Is it a private school?? I’d be very surprised if this is actually allowed if it’s a state school. You will definitely be fined.
All you can do is be very sure and clear that you feel it’s the right thing to do for the right reasons.

Show quote history

@Smartiepants79 it's not a private school. We are in Scotland and done get fined.
I spoke to the education department in the council and they said that due to the holidays that fell within the time we were planning that it would only go down as unauthorised absence.

OP posts:
Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:16

DarkForces · 30/05/2025 18:49

Our council deregisters if you're out more than 20 consecutive days so you might want to double check with your local one. The school may not get a choice.

@DarkForces it was the education department I spoke with, rather than the school. They put me through to the home schooling team who advised it would only be unauthorised absence. I am not going directly to the school until we have definite plans, but the powers above gave this information but I will obviously speak with the school direct when we have better plans

OP posts:
Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:16

level13dangerzone · 30/05/2025 18:47

Have you actually looked into all the legalities that come with that?

Show quote history

@dementedpixie what kind of legalities?

OP posts:
Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:19

Hoppinggreen · 30/05/2025 18:51

Are you sure school won't off roll them?
My Dcs school did it after 8 weeks and the school where I am Governor would do the same
As for your parents, they will be understandably concerned but its your choice and if you think its a good idea then you will just have to ignore them

@Hoppinggreen it was the home schooling department of the council that gave me the information.. I've not yet spoken directly to the school, but assuming if the council have given this information, that's what the school would work with.
I definitely do not want them deregistered , so if it turned out to be the case I would take whatever time we could and make that work
I think the experience, learning and the quality time away together will be absolutely worth it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:20

calmingpompoms · 30/05/2025 18:54

Go for it! I took my child out for 6 months and then again for 4 months. She came back so confident and rounded and now shes an adult she looks back on it as the best bit of her childhood. So much learning took place.

@calmingpompoms I am so glad to hear this!! I think it's a life changing experience for us all... I just want that quality time together, exploring and learning. We usually do a month's travel each summer as it is and our kids absolutely love it all!
How did your parents deal with the news??

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 30/05/2025 19:24

OP, I think it’s a brilliant idea. This was my dream pre-kids but the actual kids I have are adopted and have attachment issues that make lots of travelling around a complete no-no.

If I had more straightforward kids I’d do it, for all of the reasons you deacribe.

You didn’t actually ask for people’s opinions on whether or not it was a good idea so I don’t know why people are piling on.

Original poster
Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:32

BangersAndGnash · 30/05/2025 18:47

Blimey, our school would fill the places from the waiting list.

I think you just have to be ‘I know you see this differently but we are confident that the overall benefit will be worth it / I understand your concerns but we are pretty sure er can cope / I know you have misgivings but you know how much we love our children and we feel ok about it / I know you are worried… we’ll send you many postcards / I know! You have said you are worried and believe me, you will be welcome to say ‘we told you so’ but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that” .

And eventually “we’ve had this conversation, we need to agree to disagree. Pasta for dinner? “

@BangersAndGnash thanks so much for your input with ways to go about it - really helpful!

OP posts:
calmingpompoms · 30/05/2025 20:05

Plummonkey88 · 30/05/2025 19:20

@calmingpompoms I am so glad to hear this!! I think it's a life changing experience for us all... I just want that quality time together, exploring and learning. We usually do a month's travel each summer as it is and our kids absolutely love it all!
How did your parents deal with the news??

Show quote history

No one batted an eyelid. Not to my face anyway. It’ll be brilliant. The time will fly by!

Beautifulweeds · 30/05/2025 20:13

When I was a child we moved countries and schools severaltimes, a bit different I know. My point is it's so wonderful to look back upon, when I talk about my childhood it's so different from most people I know and I bloody loved it! Travel and experiences are what life is about and those few months of freedom will be amazing for them, for all of you.

GPs may disapprove but just explain the benefits, life doesn't have to be conventional. Whatever the outcome, when you come back all will be fine. Xxx